We were charmed to kill: A SELF INSERTION
by Stratikeo
Summary: I FINALLY CHANGED THE TITLE! Self Insertion: One day you're just hanging out with your friends, then POOF! You're in the Ranma world! What would you do? How will you survive? And what is it with your powers? Ch. 13 up!
1. Enter Trevor! You can't hit him!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?   
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 1: Lady in the Restaurant  
  
Ok. It aint funny at first but it will when you see *HUMOR STARTS HERE*  
  
I am in school and its recess time. I went to my usual hangout place by the shop class shed waiting for my buddies.  
  
Me: Hi guys!  
  
EA: Hey Trevor!  
  
Thomas: Hey, I have a joke, I have a joke.  
  
Thomas: Why is a dick like a gentleman?  
  
30 mins later.  
  
*RRRRIIIINNNNGGGG!!!*  
  
Me: Recess is over guys!  
  
Thomas: Damn, I was getting to the good part.  
  
EA: Ok. I think its math next.  
  
Me: Its science, dumbass! Its Friday today!  
  
So we went back to the classroom but.  
  
Thomas: Shit! Guys, I forgot my lunchbox! Help me look for it!  
  
EA and Me: Ok.  
  
When we were able to get the lunchbox back Thomas saw a piece of rainbowey broken glass.  
  
Thomas: OOOOhhhh. Shiny...  
  
EA and Me: O_o  
  
Thomas picks it up but gives it to EA and cuts EA's arm.  
  
EA: Shit! THOMAS!!!!!!  
  
Thomas: Oops. Sorry. *touches EA's wound* ooohh. bloody.  
  
EA: Guys. I'm feeling sleepy.  
  
Me: Whoah! That must have oogly gas or sumthin!  
  
EA: *Disappears*  
  
Thomas: Whoah! Gimme the precious now!!!!  
  
Me: What?  
  
Thomas: Sorry. I couldn't resist.  
  
[I don't own Lord of the Rings either]  
  
Thomas: Here you can have it.  
  
Me: *gets a cut* THOMAS!!!!!!!  
  
Thomas: Whoops.  
  
Me: *Disappears*  
  
Thomas: Ohhh. I am so in deep shit now.  
  
Thomas: Look how beautiful this is!  
  
Thomas: *cuts himself* SHIT! Oh well.  
  
Thomas: *disappears*  
  
Meanwhile I woke up in a very strange place. When I tried to speak, I noticed I was speaking a different language. I think it was Japanese. Then I looked at my surroundings and I saw that it was all animated. anime style I think.  
  
Me: Thomas! EA! Where are those guys?  
  
When I stood up I felt funny. I saw that I was taller and more handsome and I was ANIMATED!!!!!!! Whoah!! I felt like I was 17 or something.  
  
Me: Cooool!!! I can start hitting on women now!!!!!  
  
*HUMOR STARTS HERE*  
  
OOOHHHH am I gonna have fun ruining your day today. On with the humor!!!!!  
  
Now back to where I was.  
  
I walked out into the open when I saw a restaurant named "Cat Restaurant".  
  
Me: Who would name a restaurant like that? What do they sell there? Cat shit? Wait! Why does that name sound familiar?  
  
I looked into my wallet and saw.  
  
1,000,000 yen!!!!  
  
Me: Holy son of a bitch! I never had that much money. I don't think I have any yen either.  
  
I went in and I sat down. This place looks verrryy familiar.  
  
The real EA: Familiar my ass! Don't you know Ranma?  
  
The real Me: Shut the fuck up. Just read the damn story.  
  
Now back to me before I was rudely interrupted.  
  
I suddenly saw a spider on my table and I jumped up and screamed so loud that everyone heard me.  
  
Me: Holy son of a mother fucking gaylord fucker fucking a son of a.  
  
Lady: Sir!!!  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
Me: *thinking* This lady looks verrry veeerrry familiar.  
  
Me: *thinking* Since this might be a dream. I might as well have some fun!!!  
  
Me: Hey sexy! Why don't you go to my place and we can have some fun?  
  
Lady: *slaps me*  
  
Me: Huh? Why didn't that hurt?  
  
Lady: *slaps me again but to no avail*  
  
Me: Whos yo daddy, bitch???  
  
Lady: Is sir under the influence?  
  
Customers: o_O  
  
Me: No!! Why would I be considering I am HIGH on you!! Hahaha!  
  
Me: *thinking* Wait! I know that accent and that wrong grammar anywhere!  
  
Me: *thinking* I also recognize that blue hair! But who is she! I can't put my finger on it!  
  
Lady: Why you staring at me like that? Me want to know!  
  
The real EA: Ohh puhleasse. You are such a dumbass.  
  
The real Me: That's it! I want a divorce! I mean shut up!  
  
Now finally since EA is off my back for now.  
  
Me: Hey! Is your name Shampoo?  
  
Shampoo: Yes! Now about what you said.  
  
Me: Huh? I'm sorry! I'll never do it again!  
  
Shampoo: What do those words mean?  
  
Me: *sweat drop* Ehehe. It means uhh.  
  
Shampoo: mmm hmm?  
  
Me: What. a. nice place you got here.  
  
Shampoo: That unusual. No customer here for many weeks now sir.  
  
Shampoo: More importantly, who are you and how do you know my name? I don't see you eat here and I don't think I see you in Nerima.  
  
Me: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Trevor.  
  
Shampoo: That unusual name.  
  
Me: I am from a great foreign land!  
  
Shampoo: OOH! Shampoo from great foreign land too!  
  
Me: That's right. And I think we should respect each other cultures, deal?  
  
Shampoo: OOH! Amazon tradition to battle visitor from other country!  
  
Me: Why did I open my damn mouth? Why? Why?  
  
*!!WHACK!!*  
  
Me: Huh? Did something hit me?  
  
Shampoo: *holding maces* Shampoo don't know what martial arts you practice but I win for sure!  
  
Me: I don't practice martial arts!  
  
Shampoo: Liar!!!  
  
*WHACK!*  
  
Me: Are you holding back or something?  
  
Shampoo: Mumbles something in Chinese.  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
Shampoo: You afraid of cats?  
  
Me: No.  
  
Shampoo: Sigh.  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo give up. Tell me your technique.  
  
Me: What technique?  
  
Shampoo: Secretive, are you?  
  
Me: *streches arm out*  
  
Shampoo: o_O  
  
Me: Well??  
  
Shampoo: O_O  
  
Me: *streches arm out further*  
  
Shampoo: You pervert!!!  
  
Me: Wait, wait!!!  
  
WHACK!!!  
  
Me: Wait! Stop!  
  
WHACK!!! SMACK!!! BONK!!! SLAP!!! BINK!!! BONK!!!  
  
BOOOOOMMM!!!  
  
The real Me: You know. you're right EA. I am kind of a pussy.  
  
The real EA: No, no no. You are a BIG pussy.  
  
The real Me: All right! That is it! I am ending this chapter now!!!  
  
The real EA: You won't!!!  
  
Will Shampoo take a hint? Why am I a pervert? Stay tuned for chapter 2!!!!!!!!!  
  
The real EA: You dick!!!!  
  
The real Me: Nyah Nyah!!!  
  
HERE IS AN EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEAK!!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------  
  
Mousse: What is going on in there?  
  
Whump Whump Whump Whump  
  
Mousse: What the hell?  
  
Whumpwhumpwhumpwhump  
  
Shampoo: Harder! Harder!  
  
???: C'mon!!!  
  
Shampoo: AHH! AHH!! AAAHHH!!!  
  
WhumpwhumpwhumpwhumpWHUMPWHUMP  
  
Shampoo: AIIIIYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*squirting sound can be heard*  
  
???: Oohhhh. That felt messy. What the fuck???  
  
???: Why did you explode this early dammit?  
  
Shampoo: Mmmm.  
  
Mousse: Damn! I should have not gone on that delivery!  
  
*Mousse opens the door*  
  
Mousse: What the hell???? Shampoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
???: Shit!  
  
Shampoo: Mousse! I can explain! ------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ohhhh yeah. Did that change your decision of selecting "back" on your browser? 


	2. Apologize, or else!

I don't own Ranma and my friends yaddayaddayadda.  
  
Chapter 2: No lemons here.kinda  
  
The real EA: Please make this chapter last for about.. FOREVER!!!  
  
The real Me: Sorry. This ain't your fic.  
  
The real EA: Damn!  
  
Now back to where I was.  
  
Shampoo: Yaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  
  
*Whack!* *Smack!*  
  
Me: When are you going to stop? School ends at 3 pm.  
  
Shampoo: You are ruining my day! Just leave sir!  
  
Me: What did I do?  
  
Shampoo: You tried to touch Shampoo's breasts!  
  
Me: I did what????  
  
Shampoo: But.  
  
Me: All right!!!!! I was trying to shake.  
  
Shampoo: My breasts????  
  
Me: YOUR HAND!!!  
  
Shampoo: .  
  
Me: If you don't want me to be polite. fine!!!!!!!!  
  
I really felt mad at that time so I left without a word trying to look for my friends.  
  
Shampoo: Wait!!!  
  
Me: I never knew that people from your land were so grouchy. Feh!!!  
  
Shampoo: I'm sorry!!! Please!!!  
  
*I opened the door*  
  
Shampoo: *Took a hold of me and turned me around*  
  
Me: Look! You don't have to be so.  
  
Shampoo: *Touches my groin and rubs it*  
  
Me: AAACKKKK!!!!  
  
Shampoo: Forgiven Shampoo already?  
  
Me: You pervert!! You wanted revenge on me? Or did you want to "play"?  
  
Shampoo: ?  
  
Me: *Blushing* Well if uhhh. y-y-you wanted to I can apply my presently accumulated knowledge from my friends and teachers and some certain websites so m-m-maybe.  
  
Shampoo: O_o  
  
Me: Ok. Things are getting messy. Can I try to change the flow of the conversation?  
  
Shampoo: Mmm. okay?  
  
Me: Why did you touch my dick?  
  
Shampoo: I guess that didn't work. Did I need to suck it too?  
  
Me: AAACKK!!! That's it! I am not forgiving you and I am leaving!!!  
  
Shampoo: *tears build up in her eyes*  
  
Me: OK!!! What did I do now????  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo only wanted to apologize.   
  
Me: You were apologizing?  
  
Shampoo: Yes. *sniff*  
  
Me: Ohh. well I apologize for that.  
  
Me: *Takes Shampoo's hand and shakes it*  
  
Me: I am making sure that my hands don't wander where they're not supposed to be.  
  
Shampoo: Hee hee!  
  
Shampoo: What can I do to make up for what I "did" to Trevor?  
  
Me: Well.  
  
Me: Could you let me stay over for a few months?  
  
Shampoo: Well.  
  
Mousse: Shampoo!!!!!!!!!  
  
Shampoo: Mousse! You stay away! Do not butt in!  
  
Mousse: Who is this weirdo?  
  
Shampoo: This is Trevor. He is a REAL kind man.  
  
Mousse: Oh really.  
  
Me: You must be Mousse! You're the near-sided guy who turns into a duck!  
  
Mousse: Wha??? Do you practice witchcraft? How did you know?  
  
Me: Because I know.  
  
Shampoo: ?  
  
Me: I know everyone. Shampoo, Mousse, Ranma, Ryoga, Akane, Ukyo their acquaintances and many many more people.  
  
Me: I know from the moment they moved here and all their embarrassments, and even when they are in the bathroom.  
  
Me: Don't worry. I'm not a pervert.  
  
Shampoo: *Bows down* Kami-sama!!  
  
Me: Wait!  
  
Mousse: *Bows down as well* Kami-sama! Grant me a wish!  
  
Me: Now wait just a fucking second!  
  
Mousse: I want to fuck Shampoo 10 hours every night for the rest of.  
  
Shampoo: *Punches Mousse sending him flying into the air*  
  
Me: Ok. So can I? I know you anyway and I know about your homeland and your fiancée and about your little stalker you just sent flying. And I am not Kami-sama!  
  
Shampoo: Oohh!! It will be fun with new visitor in restaurant!  
  
Shampoo: *Hugs me* And a nice one to boot! Protect Shampoo from Mousse okay?  
  
Me: Uh. Okay?  
  
The real EA: What the hell was that? That was not one bit funny!  
  
The real Me: This is supposed to be an interlude.  
  
The real EA: O_o  
  
The real Me: Happens between major events.  
  
The real EA: -_-  
  
Later in the Nekohaten.  
  
Shampoo: Store closed today?  
  
Cologne: Well, there are no customers lately.  
  
Shampoo: Aiya.  
  
Me: Well, is there something wrong?  
  
Cologne: Our new computer system has a uhh. what they call a virus!  
  
Me: *face turns green* A virus!!! Let me at em'!!! Arrghhhh.  
  
Shampoo: By the way, can Trevor board restaurant for few months, great- grandma?  
  
Cologne: What? Letting a total stranger sleep with us?  
  
Me: Must crush virus!!!  
  
Cologne: Unless.  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo get it now. great-grandma. Hee hee!  
  
Shampoo: Ahem. Trevor-kun?  
  
Me: Yes? *turns back to normal*  
  
Shampoo: Would you like to go to my bedroom and help me with something?  
  
Me: Okay? (I think)  
  
The real EA: Woo hoo! Bring on the lemons!!!  
  
The real Me: EA! You are so green-minded! Don't you read the actual story?  
  
The real EA: No.  
  
The real Me: Well there is gonna be a lemon later. *evil grin*.  
  
The real Thomas: Hey! Can I join the conversation?  
  
The real Me: Sure!  
  
The real EA: Now back to the story.  
  
The real Thomas: I am so gonna kick your ass, EA.  
  
Meanwhile, Mousse is coming back from his delivery.  
  
Mousse: Sh-Sh-Shampoo! Where are you?  
  
Mousse struggles and he finally reached the door of Shampoo's Bedroom.  
  
The real Thomas: Now wait just a damn minute.  
  
The real EA: What?  
  
The real Thomas: We haven't appeared yet in the story.  
  
The real Me: You'll appear in chapter 3!  
  
The real Thomas: You better promise!  
  
The real Me: ^_^  
  
Mousse: Huh? *Whump* *Whump*  
  
Mousse: What is going on in there?  
  
*Whump* *Whump* *Whump* *Whump*  
  
Mousse: What the hell?  
  
*Whumpwhumpwhumpwhump*  
  
Shampoo: Harder! Harder!  
  
Me: C'mon!!!  
  
Shampoo: AHH! AHH!! AAAHHH!!!  
  
*WhumpwhumpwhumpwhumpWHUMPWHUMP*  
  
Shampoo: AIIIIYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*squirting sound can be heard*  
  
Me: Oohhhh. That felt messy. What the fuck???  
  
Me: Why did you explode this early dammit?  
  
Shampoo: Mmmm.  
  
Mousse: Damn! I should have not gone on that delivery!  
  
*Mousse opens the door*  
  
Mousse: What the hell???? Shampoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: Shit!  
  
Shampoo: Mousse! I can explain!  
  
Mousse: Oh yes you can!! I mean now!!  
  
Mousse: Were you having sex with that foreign freak?  
  
Shampoo: NO! Although I wish I did so you will finally get out of my hair or maybe getting splattered organs and blood all over the floor with the sound of you cackling.  
  
Me: You do? *sweats heavily, bulge appears in pants*  
  
Shampoo: o_-  
  
Me: Eheheh. Mousse? You're gonna kill me are you?  
  
Mousse: Ohhh yeahh.  
  
Me: I might as well tell the truth anyway.  
  
Mousse: What was that thumping sound? Was it the bed bouncing?  
  
Me: No. It was me whacking the computer.  
  
Mousse: What was that about Shampoo saying "Harder! Harder!"  
  
Me: Told me to whack harder.  
  
Mousse: What the fuck was going on when shampoo moaned and screamed?  
  
Me: Oh. That was me getting electrocuted.  
  
Mousse: o_O; Well what was that squirting sound?  
  
Me: That was Spongebob.  
  
Mousse: Oh. Okay. *leaves*.  
  
Shampoo: Next time, let Shampoo handle situation. Me not trust you yet!  
  
Me: Sure.  
  
Shampoo: Good thing you not tell him that squirting sound was you creaming your pants when you saw naked pictures of me in Mousse's folder.  
  
Me: ^_^  
  
Shampoo:..... So, you want some copies for masturbation?  
  
Me: Okay. What's masturbation?  
  
Shampoo: Do you want me to show you?  
  
Me: Okay?  
  
Shampoo: *purr*  
  
The real Me: And that is the end of chapter 2!!!  
  
The real EA: Nice. When's the part where you have sex with.  
  
The real Me: Now now EA. Don't spoil the audience's fun.  
  
The real Thomas: Hey you kiddies out there! If you really want to know what masturbation is call my personal nokia 6969! #0969-IMA-DICK  
  
The real Me: No thanks. I already know what it is.  
  
The real Thomas: From who?  
  
The real Me: I called my friend with a Bokia FU2 at 09FU-FUC-KOFF  
  
The real Me: Stay connected! Check next time for chapter 3! 


	3. Enter Thomas! The strongest man in the w...

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?   
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 3: Enter Thomas! The strongest man in the world wreaks havoc!  
  
Notice: If you see *SHOWDOWN* then two or more characters will get into a martial arts battle, but it will be a humorous one I promise! It will end if you see *SHOWDOWN ENDS*.  
  
The real EA: Yes!!!!! Thomas and I are gonna be in the fic! OOOhhh Yeahh!!!  
  
The real Me: Uhh huhh..  
  
The real Thomas: Hey! I thought of this cool idea that-  
  
The real Me: On with chapter 3!  
  
The real Thomas: Noooo!!! Not again!!!  
  
When we last left me, I was still living with Shampoo and Mousse awaiting the arrival of my friends. One night, I decided to leave the Nekohaten coz' this was not getting me any closer to my friends. I felt really sorry for them especially Mousse whom I left the big pile of dishes that I did not wash on that particular day. Well, if I had to find a way back. well can I find a way back?  
  
Shampoo: *yawn* Good morning!  
  
Mousse: Yeeeeehaaa!!! Good riddance you inconsiderate fool!  
  
Shampoo: Huh? Trevor gone? I know he come back. He never survive out in streets.  
  
Mousse: Foooool!!! Haha!!! This place is all mine!! Mine!!! *cackle*  
  
Shampoo: o_O  
  
Mousse: Shampoo! I command you to clean the dishes the fool left!!  
  
Shampoo: What? He no do his part? Ohhh. Me swear we get him! And I will KILL him!! Hahahahaha!!! *cackle*  
  
Mousse: Now!! The dishes!!  
  
Shampoo: Finding someone else, lazyass.  
  
The real EA: Hey! Everyone here is so OOC, including us!!  
  
The real Me: Shut the fuck up!! Or else I will make you die in this story!!  
  
The real EA: Oh please don't.  
  
The real Me: Smooth one, Trevor! I so rule!  
  
(Someplace, that evening.)  
  
Me: Why did I leave? I can never survive out here in the streets!  
  
I went to a dark corner and got a very worn out blanket and wrapped myself in it. I look pathetic. I mean, I am in the middle class and I am here freezing out here in the cold. If only I can find the Tendo Dojo. Then when I was about to fall asleep, a figure suddenly came from the distance.  
  
???: You there, wanderer.  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
???: Am I in Nerima?  
  
Me: Yes.  
  
???: You see I got lost.  
  
Me: Ryoga?  
  
Ryoga: How do you know me, stranger?  
  
Me: Long story. Are you looking for Akane again?  
  
Ryoga: Huh? Ranma! Why you dirty little fool! Show yourself! Take that blanket off!!  
  
Me: Wait I'm not Ranma!  
  
Ryoga: *examines my face* Oh. But do you know him, stranger?  
  
Me: Know him? Know HIM???? Ha ha ha!!!!!! I mean. yes, I do.  
  
Ryoga: If you can help me get to the Tendo Dojo, I'll lend you my second sleeping bag.  
  
Me: Ok. Oh, and my name is Trevor.  
  
Ryoga: I never knew anyone by that name. How did you get to know me?  
  
Me: Heck! I know more than the color of the clothes you wear!  
  
Ryoga: No way. do you know the-  
  
Me: Yes! You are P-Chan.  
  
Ryoga: Noooo!!!! Publicity has finally found out!  
  
Me: Not only that, every otaku in the world knows you and your little secret.  
  
Ryoga: Ok, Trevor, you are freaking me out!!! I don't think I can trust you.  
  
Me: Trust me! I know everything!  
  
Ryoga: Well, I am gonna keep a close eye on you, buddy. Good night!  
  
Me: Riiiiighhht. of course you will. Heh heh. ZzzzzZzzzZzzZZZzZz.  
  
(That morning.)  
  
Me: Ryoga.  
  
Me: Ryoga!  
  
Me: Wake up, bitch!!! Its fuckin noon!!!  
  
Ryoga: Huh? What?  
  
Me: Lets get going.  
  
Ryoga: This is going to be a long journey. We should save our rations if we have to keep both of us alive.  
  
So we started on our little "trek" across Nerima looking desperately for the Tendo Dojo when suddenly.  
  
???: You there! Don't move!!  
  
Me: Who's there?  
  
???: It is I. The most powerful person in the world!  
  
Me: Ryoga! He's there hiding on top of that tree!!  
  
???: *slips* Shit!!  
  
???: *hits every branch on the way down* Ow! Ow! OOOWW!! Ay sarap!!!  
  
???: *!!!THUD!!* Ooof.. Thank you very much I'll be here all week.  
  
Me: No way! Its you!  
  
???: Hey! Its Trevor!!!  
  
Me: Thomas!! I finally found you! Where were you?  
  
Thomas: Up on this tree feasting on the birds and the bees.  
  
Me: Ewww.  
  
Ryoga: Who is this fellow?  
  
Me: This is my friend, Thomas.  
  
Me: Thomas, since you don't watch the anime, I'll introduce you to him.  
  
Me: This is Ryoga. He's Ranma's greatest rival and he's the guy who turns into a pig.  
  
Ryoga: How did you know about my identity and my curse? How???  
  
Me: Shut the fuck up! I said I'll explain later!  
  
Ryoga: I swear you both are demons from hell.  
  
Thomas: Hey! You have no right to day that!  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
Thomas: Do you not know where we are??  
  
Ryoga: Hey Turbo, what is your weird friend saying?  
  
Me: No idea. And its Trevor!! Not Turbo!!  
  
Ryoga: Right. Turbo.  
  
Thomas: Shhhh!!!! We are in the serenity of.  
  
Ryoga: o_O  
  
Thomas: The HOBBY SHOP!!!  
  
Me: Thomas? Is it just me or do we seem more stupid than when we left home?  
  
Ryoga: You guys are weird. You belong with Ranma. You will fit right in!  
  
Me: We aren't aquatransexuals like him but we aren't aquatranspecies like the rest!  
  
Ryoga: Ohhh. I am gonna get you for this!!!  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
*Insert exciting battle music here*  
  
Ryoga: Breaking Point!!!!  
  
Me: I doesn't work on humans, remember?  
  
Ryoga: Shit. Why do I even bother? *punch*  
  
Me: Well, until now I still don't feel pain!  
  
Ryoga: *two punches*  
  
Me: Useless! *punch*  
  
Ryoga: Useless! You may be invincible but you are not strong!  
  
Me: Shit!!!  
  
Ryoga: Let me ask you. tease me!!!!  
  
Me: OH Nooo. That aint gonna work! I know your style!  
  
Ryoga: You are making me angry. And sad too!!  
  
Me: Noooo!!!! *ducks*  
  
Ryoga: Tiger roar blast!!!  
  
*Booooooooooooomm!!!*  
  
Me: *gets blown away* AAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Thomas: Trevor!!!! Grrr!!! You bastard!!  
  
Ryoga: Ha ha ha!!!  
  
Thomas: I challenge you!  
  
Ryoga: Now I know you both are invincible!  
  
Ryoga: I know you're weakness! You both have weak power and you are so light that I can just blow you away, even though you're still alive!!!  
  
Thomas: Yaaaaaa *punch*  
  
The punch actually hits Ryoga and sends him flying in the air.  
  
Ryoga: Noooo!!!!! How???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Thomas: Wow! I never knew I could do that!  
  
*SHOWDOWN ENDS*  
  
Shampoo happens to be riding by the same street Thomas was in and Thomas wanted to dare himself something.  
  
Thomas: Well, if Trevor's indestructible, maybe I am! Heck, I have super strength too!! Take a whiff, woman!!  
  
Shampoo: WATCHING OUT, MISTER!!  
  
*CRASH*  
  
Shampoo: Ogg.. Idiot!!! Why you in middle of road!  
  
Thomas: *in extreme pain* Ow.. pain.. spine.. broken.. extreme.. pain!!  
  
Shampoo: Mister very stupid *punch*!  
  
Thomas: OWWW!! I am suffering enough pain already!  
  
Shampoo: Being careful next time, sir. BYE!!  
  
Thomas: Wait!!! Cant you at least, tell me your name? I don't watch Ranma! Or.. could you bring me to the hospital? My spine is in pieces and my hipbone is crushed!  
  
The real EA: Wait! What happened to you?  
  
The real Me: Don't worry. I am invincible you know?  
  
The real Thomas: What about me?  
  
The real Me: You have super strength.  
  
The real Thomas: Oohhh yeah!! *punch*  
  
The real Me: This is real life, dumbass.  
  
The real Thomas: Dick!!  
  
(LATER.)  
  
Thomas: Ow.. I cant move. Darn that woman!  
  
Car: *beep* *beep*  
  
Thomas: Shit!! Oh why? Why? WHY????  
  
Car: BEEEEEEEPPPP!!!  
  
Thomas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Whoah!! I don't wanna die!!  
  
The real Me: Don't worry! The chapter is over!  
  
The real EA: Hey! Here's a sneak peak for our audience!  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
Me: Hello!! Anyone there?  
  
???: WHAT??? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??  
  
Me: We're friends. We come in peace.  
  
???: PERVERTS! PERVERTS EVERYWHERE!!!  
  
Me: Shut up, woman. We know about your little "secret".  
  
???: What secret?  
  
Me: You happen to like someone named Ra-  
  
???: WHAT?? NONSENSE!!!  
  
???: GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!  
  
*SLAM*  
  
Thomas: Nice going, smartass. Where are gonna stay now??  
  
???: Guys! I cant believe I finally saw you!  
  
Thomas & Me: Whoah! Its. its. ___________________________________________________  
  
The real Me: Yahh hah!! What is gonna happen to us?  
  
The real EA: STAY CONNECTED!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Until then, ja! 


	4. Enter Miyu! She’s an OC you know

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?   
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 4: Enter Miyu! She's an OC you know.  
  
For those who don't know, OC means "original character".  
  
The real Thomas: I am about to be hit by a car.  
  
The real Me: Get a grip, man.  
  
The real EA: But I am not in it yet! You promised!  
  
The real Me: Here we go again. I did not have space enough for you in chapter 3!  
  
The real EA: How could you?  
  
The real Me: THAT IS IT!!! I AM LEAVING NOW!!!  
  
*The real Me turns server and power off*  
  
The real Thomas: Great. Now you pissed him off. How are we supposed to start the fic now without the writer?  
  
The real EA: Do you know how to hotwire?  
  
The real Thomas: Well, a car, yes. But a computer?  
  
The real EA: Wait! I think we should press this "on" button!  
  
The real Thomas: Wait! Don't! Its too obvious!  
  
The real EA: *pushes button*  
  
The real Thomas: Nooo!!! Get down!!!  
  
Computer: This room will self-destruct in 5 seconds. 5.  
  
The real Thomas: NOOO!!  
  
Computer: 4.  
  
The real EA: Were in real deep shit now!  
  
Computer: 3.  
  
The real EA: Do something dumbass!!  
  
Computer: 2.  
  
The real Thomas: I don't know how to stop this thing!!  
  
Computer: 1.  
  
The real EA: Heck, you don't know jack shit.  
  
*beep boop teet-teet-teet-teet-teet*  
  
The real Thomas: OH YEAH? FUCK YOU, BI.  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM*  
  
The real Thomas: AAAHHH!!! What? Its only a dream?  
  
The real Me: Uhh.. Thomas? WERE ON AIR DUMBASS!!!  
  
The real Me: Now. Sorry for the long interruption. Here's chapter 3!  
  
Well. Thomas is lying in the middle of the street with almost every bone in his body broken while I am lying unconscious in a location that is about to be revealed. It seems hope is lost for both of us since EA still has gone missing, both of us are on the verge of death and we don't know what other people might fall victim to the magical glass. Meanwhile, let us look at how Thomas is doing and lets find out how he gets out of this pinch.  
  
Car: *BEEEEEEPP*  
  
Thomas: NOOO!! THIS IS THE END!!!  
  
*SSSCCREEECHHHHH!!!**  
  
Thomas: What the? YES! I am saved! Thank my luck!  
  
The car door opens and a mysterious young lady steps out.  
  
Lady: BAKA!!! Why are you lying on the ground like that? What if I didn't see you? *kicks Thomas*  
  
Thomas: OOWW!! Look lady, I have been run over by a bicy. I mean a big 18- wheeler and all my bones are broken. Can you PUHLEASE take me to the hospital?  
  
Lady: Hmph. Normally I'd just love to run over a gaijin fruitpop like you but just tonight I'll make an exception.  
  
Thomas: Who're you calling a fruitpop? *uses remaining bones in left arm to throw a rock at the lady's head*  
  
Lady: Ow! Tee hee hee hee!!!  
  
Thomas: Japanese people sure are weird.  
  
Meanwhile, lets focus the story in a certain underrated restaurant in the backstreets of Nerima. Outside the restaurant, there is a trash can that is moving very irregularly. After 5 minutes of shaking, it finally tipped over.  
  
*CRASH*  
  
Me: Oohh man. it smells worse than in there!! HWOOF!!  
  
Me: Morning already??? I GOTTA FIND THOMAS!!!  
  
Me: OOOG. Why can't I move?  
  
Me: Dang. I can't feel pain but I am still susceptible to injury.  
  
Me: What, am I paralyzed or something?  
  
Child: Mama! Look at that man lying beside a trash can!  
  
Me: WAIT!! Can you please tell me where to find the Tendo Dojo?  
  
Mother: Don't look at him Miyako, he might wipe off his dung off of you.  
  
Child: What a silly baka! Tee hee!  
  
Mother: Watch your language!! Quick, run!!  
  
Child: *stinkeye*  
  
Me: WAIT!!!. How am I gonna get home now?  
  
???: Ahaa!! There you are!!  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
???: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN???  
  
Ok. Lets add a little suspense. Someone saw me and will that person rescue me? Well, lets look at first at how Thomas is doing.  
  
(At the Nerima General Hospital)  
  
Thomas: Oohhh. Where am I?  
  
Lady: GOOD! You're awake!  
  
Thomas: Hey! Its you!  
  
Lady: *to nurse* Ok. Please charge all the bills to him please.  
  
Thomas: WHAT??? HOW COULD YOU?  
  
Lady: Sorry, I am just a poor girl.  
  
Thomas: But look at your car! It's a convertible for crying out loud.  
  
Lady: Oh. That was my boyfriend's car.  
  
Thomas: Oh. Okay, so maybe you are a poor girl.  
  
Lady: Okay, I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta go. Ja!  
  
Thomas: WAIT JUST A MINUTE, YOU!!!  
  
Lady: Hee hee!  
  
Thomas: You wont get away until you at least introduce yourself!  
  
Lady: Okay. My name is. My name is.  
  
Lady: Who am I?  
  
Thomas: OK. I have seen that trick one too many times now speak up!!!  
  
Lady: I'm Miyuki Hinasaki. You can call me Miyu!  
  
Thomas: I'm Thomas.  
  
Miyu: Thomas who?  
  
Thomas: Thomas of Earth.  
  
Miyu: I mean you're family name.  
  
Thomas: Thomas Thomas.  
  
Miyu: You don't remember don't you?  
  
Thomas: Nah. I'm just not allowed to say it.  
  
Miyu: Oh.  
  
Thomas: Are you an OC? I-I-I mean Japanese?  
  
Miyu: Of course I am, you baka no gaijin!  
  
Thomas: Oh, if only I wasn't recuperating right now I'll.  
  
Thomas: I'll beat you up like a sack of-  
  
Miyu: AAAAHHHH!!! HELP ME!! I'M BEING RAPED!!!  
  
Thomas: AACKKK!!! You fiend!! Taking advantage of the weak!  
  
Miyu: Hee hee!! Bye now!!  
  
Thomas: Wait. damn. SHE LEFT, DAMMIT!  
  
The real EA: When does she meet the rest of us?  
  
The real Thomas: Give me a break!  
  
The real Me: Well, lets just see for ourselves. But that would have to wait until any of us see her again.  
  
The real EA: Judging from the dialogue alone, I bet she's cute!!  
  
The real Me: You've seen nothing yet!!  
  
Well seeing Thomas has made a new friend he almost forgot about his big problem! His surgery bill costs 10,000 yen! And he already has gone through surgery so HOW THE FUCK IS HE GONNA PAY??? But lets see how things have been going through for me. DAN DAN DAN DAN!!!  
  
Me: *unable to recognize the woman from the intense sunlight*  
  
???: Ran-chan!!! *unable to tell the difference between Ranma and me*  
  
Me: Ukyo?  
  
Ukyo: Ahhaa!! *hug* I missed you soooo much!!! And PEEE YOOOO!!! What is that smell? Come in and I'll clean you.  
  
Me: I'm saved!!!  
  
Ukyo: Huh??  
  
Me: Nothing, Ukyo.  
  
Ukyo: What did you call me?  
  
Me: I-I-I mean Ucchan!!! UCCHAN!!!  
  
Ukyo: Hmm hmmm.  
  
(In Ucchan's pancake)  
  
Ukyo: These are some unusual clothes you're wearing Ran-chan!  
  
Ukyo: Are these souvenirs or something?  
  
Me: Well, you could say that.  
  
Ukyo: Well, I think you'll be wanting the usual. Squid?  
  
Me: No thanks.  
  
Ukyo: What's with the long face Ran-chan?  
  
Me: Well, a couple of friends of mine has gone missing and I can't seem to find them.  
  
Ukyo: Who, Kuno and Gosunkugi? Hee hee!!  
  
Me: THEM?? HAH! Give me a break!!  
  
Ukyo: Well, judging from the growing smell of your clothes, let me take them off.  
  
Me: Wait!! NO!  
  
Ukyo: Don't worry. The store is closed today. No one will see us!  
  
Me: I don't care!!!  
  
Ukyo: You're THAT worried about losing your virginity?  
  
Me: No. Its just uh.  
  
Ukyo: Oh, Ran-chan you are so H. We are still teens aren't we? Hee hee!  
  
Me: *thinking* How am I supposed to get out of here? I need that bath but Ukyo might know I am not Ranma!!  
  
Me: Umm. Can I just use the hose out back?  
  
Ukyo: What are you so shy about? Tell you what, I'll just give you some cold water so you wont be "worried", ne?  
  
Me: *thinking* AACK!! I can't turn into a girl! I'm not cursed! I gotta use warm water!!  
  
Me: I think I'll just use warm water. Its been cold walking around all night.  
  
Ukyo: Ok!  
  
Me: Well, that takes care of one of my problems. Now I gotta find a way to find the guys and get back home!  
  
Ukyo: Here you go, Ran-chan! And *hee hee* do I have to close my eyes?  
  
Me: I prefer if you just stayed out of the bathroom.  
  
Ukyo: Hmmm. okay.  
  
Me: *taking clothes off* Okay. I gotta find help. Now I remember Ryoga sending me to the skies but Thomas was still there. Could he, NO WAY!!! He can't die, can he? Man! I am so gonna kick his balls when I see him because this is all his fault!!! Ahh. its nice to feel the warmth of hot water again.  
  
(LATER.)  
  
Me: Well. I feel sorry for Ukyo for leaving and all and not thanking her but what the hell?  
  
*door closes*  
  
Ukyo: Ara? Ran-chan! Where did you go?  
  
Me: Well, here I go again. Alone in Nerima.  
  
*BUMP*  
  
???: Whoah! Watch it dude!  
  
Me: HOLY SHITBALLS!!! Thomas!!! I finally found you!!  
  
Thomas: What happened to you?  
  
Me: Long story. What happened to YOU?  
  
Thomas: Longer story. But I met this really hot chick!!  
  
Me: Really? Do you think you saw her in the manga or the anime?  
  
Thomas: Now that you mention it, no.  
  
Me: Oh. Then she must be an OC.  
  
Thomas: A what?  
  
Me: Ehh, nothing.  
  
Thomas: She has a boyfriend though.  
  
Me: Well, too bad.  
  
Thomas: Hey! Guess what?  
  
Me: You have a joke, I know.  
  
Thomas: No! I found the Tendo Dojo! Whatever that place is.  
  
Me: Thomas!! Do you realize what this means?  
  
Thomas: Oh no. Don't tell me I did something wrong again!  
  
Me: WERE SAVED!!! YAHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Thomas: *starts dancing like a wild monkey boy* YEEEHAAA!!  
  
Me: WWWWEEEEEEEHHHAAAAA!!!!  
  
Thomas: Why are we happy again?  
  
Me: Thomas you are such a dumbass! We can fuckin live again!  
  
Thomas: We can what?  
  
Me: We can live with them for the meantime until we find EA and get out of this world!  
  
Thomas: Yes!!  
  
Me: Now let's head for the Tendo Dojo!!  
  
Me and Thomas: *singing and skipping* Oh what a beautiful frying pan!!! Hitting your delicate head!! Oh blood and pasty brains, lalala!!! Come out of the crack!!! Make us puke, ohhhhh MAAAAAAKE UUUUUUSS PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKEEEEE!!!! Thank you, thank you very much. Haw haw.  
  
Miyako: Mommy! They are so weird!!  
  
Mother: Stay away from them! Their weirdness might rub off of us!  
  
The real EA: Finally! The story is starting to be kind of funny!  
  
The real Thomas: But you deprived the readers of ecchi humor and cursing!!  
  
The real Me: All that is gonna change. I hope.  
  
(LATER. OUTSIDE THE TENDO DOJO.)  
  
Me: *knocks*  
  
Me: Hello!! Anyone there?  
  
Akane: WHAT??? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??  
  
Me: We're friends. We come in peace.  
  
Akane: PERVERTS! PERVERTS EVERYWHERE!!!  
  
Me: Shut up, woman. We know about your little "secret".  
  
Akane: What secret?  
  
Me: You happen to like someone named Ra-  
  
Akane: WHAT?? NONSENSE!!!  
  
Akane: GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!  
  
*SLAM*  
  
Thomas: Nice going, smartass. Where are gonna stay now??  
  
???: Guys! I cant believe I finally saw you!  
  
Thomas & Me: Whoah! Its. its.  
  
Me: She matches the description of that cute babe you met!  
  
Thomas: THATS RIGHT!!!  
  
???: Thomas! Remember me?  
  
Thomas: Miyu!! What's up?  
  
Miyu: Just strolling around!  
  
Thomas: Hey! Did you happen to see someone named EA?  
  
Miyu: Gomme. No one I know by that name.  
  
Thomas: How about Earl?  
  
Miyu: I'm really sorry.  
  
Thomas: Ugggg.  
  
Miyu: And who is this meatloaf?  
  
Thomas: Oh, I almost forgot. Miyu, this is Trevor. Trevor, this is Miyu.  
  
Miyu and Me: Yeah, yeah, we know. We know.  
  
Thomas: ??  
  
Me: So, Miyu. What coincidencially brings you to our destination?  
  
Miyu: Well, I need to visit my friend, Akane.  
  
Me: YOUR WHAT????  
  
Miyu: Friend. F-R-I-E-N-D.  
  
Me: Come here!  
  
Thomas: Huh?  
  
Me: *whisper*  
  
Miyu: Tee hee!! You're tickling me!! Hee hee ha ha!!  
  
Thomas: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO "H"!!!  
  
Me: What? Have I been breathing too fast? Damn. I should exercise more.  
  
Thomas: $()|\| ()f /-\ Bi+C|-|!!!!!  
  
Me: So what I was saying *whisper*  
  
Miyu: Mmm hmm.  
  
Me: *whisper*  
  
Miyu: Aha. Mmm hmm.. Okay. I get it.  
  
Thomas: What are you saying.  
  
Me: Ok. Got it?  
  
Miyu: HAI!!! Hee hee!!  
  
Me: *thinking* What a cute laugh! It reminds me of Chii from Chobits!  
  
Thomas: *thinking* I wish we never find EA. I wanna stay here forever!  
  
The real Me: CHAPTER END!!!  
  
The real EA: And when am I gonna enter this fic?  
  
The real Me: Sorry EA. This fic is 2 times longer than the previous already.  
  
The real EA: UGGG. What a dumb reason.  
  
The real Me: *aims a spaz shotgun to EA's head* What?  
  
The real EA: I mean. I understand.  
  
The real Me: That's what I thought you said.  
  
The real Thomas: Sneak peek time!  
  
----------------------------------------------  
  
Me: Hello? Trevor speaking.  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: I will eat fried lays?  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: I will poision what bay?  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: Who's gay?  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: Of course you know that this is getting cornier and cornier.  
  
???: Well, I agree. But still, you will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: RANMA!!! YOU'RE FRIEND SADAKO IS CALLING!!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------  
  
The real Me: See ya!!!  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	5. Enter EA! Think happy thoughts!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?   
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 5: Enter EA! Think happy thoughts!  
  
The real EA: Well, things are starting to go well until.  
  
The real Thomas: Cue tape!!!  
  
*play tape*  
  
Akane: GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!  
  
Thomas: Nice going, smartass. Where are we gonna stay now??  
  
*stop tape*  
  
The real Thomas: Ahhh. That line deserves an Oscar!!!  
  
The real Me: Hey!!! You finally fixed that grammar error!!!  
  
The real EA: What grammar error?  
  
The real Me: Ohh, nothing, nothing.  
  
The real Thomas: On with the story!!!  
  
The real Me: HERE'S DAN DAN DAN!!! CHAPTER 5!!!  
  
When we last left our duo (soon to be trio), they were outside the the Tendo Dojo together with Miyu they devised a plan to be able to convince the residents to let the boys board with them. But I happen to have a plan which I secretly told Miyu. Thomas, eager to find out, is still curious about the plan, since he can be so obvious by the way.  
  
Thomas: Tell me the plan!!!  
  
Me: Not yet!!!  
  
Miyu: Its best if you don't find out. Really.  
  
Thomas: Damn it all. You are all freaks!!!  
  
Me: Hmm hmm.  
  
Thomas: Hey! What if It does not work?  
  
Miyu: A plan "B" silly! Hee hee hee!!  
  
Me: And oh. Plan A never works right?  
  
Thomas: Don't tell me its because of me again!!  
  
Me: Its not you this time.  
  
Thomas: Oh.  
  
The real EA: What??? That was useless shit!!! Why did you add that, smartass?  
  
The real Me: Shut up, bitch or it's the a volleyball in the asscrack for you.  
  
The real EA: Gulp.  
  
The real Thomas: Get back on the air please.  
  
The real Me: JUST SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!!  
  
Me: Commence plan A.  
  
Miyu: HAI!!!  
  
*knock knock*  
  
Akane: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU- Hey, Miyu!!  
  
Miyu: Konichiwa!!  
  
Akane: Gomme. I thought you were those guys that came here.  
  
Miyu: What guys?  
  
Akane: I called them perverts because I thought they were those guys who flipped my skirt in the noodle shop. I'm having kind of an off day today.  
  
Miyu: *sweating* Uhh. right.  
  
Akane: I wish I could at least apologize. They must be those friends of Ranma's.  
  
Miyu: They don't study in Furinkan *sweat drop*.  
  
Akane: Why don't you come in? Were about to have tea.  
  
Miyu: No thanks. I need to take care of something today.  
  
Akane: Okay *shuts door*.  
  
Miyu: GUYS!!! BIG EMERGENCY!!!  
  
Me: WHAAATT??? GO FOR PLAN B!!!  
  
Miyu: WE CAN'T!!  
  
Me: Why?  
  
Miyu: SHE WANTS TO APOLOGIZE!!!  
  
Me: Oh shit.  
  
Miyu: Well, what now?  
  
Me: PLAN C!!! I thought I'd never I'll never use this. Thomas? Are you prepared to be in EXTREME PAIN???  
  
Miyu: Seriously, Trevor! Do you want me to take him to the hospital again? Hee hee!!  
  
Thomas: Well, for civilized living, OKAY!!!  
  
Me: LET"S GO!!! *sun rays appear around his body anime style*  
  
Miyu: Okay. I'M the one who's confused now.  
  
Thomas: *stinkeye*  
  
Miyu: HMPH!!!  
  
Me: Here's what we do. *whisper*  
  
Thomas: WHAAATT??? WE'LL DO WHAAAATTT???  
  
Me: Do you want to have a civilized life?  
  
Thomas: GGGRRRRRRR!!!! AAALLL RIIIGHHHTT!!! I give up already!!!!  
  
Me: YES!!!  
  
*knock knock*  
  
Akane: Miyu?  
  
Me: Remember us, Akane?  
  
Akane: AAACKKK!!! ITS YOU!!  
  
Me: Ahh hmm?  
  
Akane: Gomme. I thought you were someone else.  
  
Me: Now the reason that we're here is that.  
  
Thomas: *nods*  
  
Thomas and Me: WE WANT TO CHALLENGE YOUR DOJO!!!  
  
Akane: *GASP* Ottosan!!!! SOMEONE WANTS TO CHALLENGE OUR DOJO!!!  
  
Soun: NANIIIIIII????? SAOTOME-KUN!!! RANMA-KUN!!!  
  
Ranma and Genma: WHAAAAAT??? WE'RE BUSY!!!  
  
Soun: Someone wants to challenge our dojo!!!  
  
Ranma and Genma: WHAAT?? LET ME AT EM'!!!  
  
Ranma: Hey! Do you guys study at our school?  
  
Me: Baka!!! We're not Japanese in the first place!!  
  
Ranma: Sheesh.  
  
Soun: Where are you two young men from?  
  
Thomas: The Philippines.  
  
Soun: I see. SAOTOME-KUN!!!  
  
Genma: What, Tendo-kun?  
  
Soun: *quietly* We never fought gaijins from the Phils.  
  
Genma: I know. Lets be uhh. careful.  
  
Ranma: BAKAERO!!! You hold back and you lose.  
  
Soun: Ranma-kun is right. Full force minna!!!  
  
Ranma Soun and Genma: IIIIIKKKEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Me: If you lose, we will board here.  
  
Ranma: That would be your death wish, fools.  
  
Thomas: Haul ass people!!! We ain't got all day!!!  
  
Ranma: Fine!!! The Tendo Dojo accepts your challenge.  
  
Akane: Ready?  
  
Me Thomas Soun Genma and Ranma: READY!!!  
  
Akane: SHOBUUUUU!!!  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
Ranma: CHESTNUT FIST!!! AYEYEYEYEYEYE!!!  
  
*Every punch hits Me but no effect*  
  
Ranma: WHAT???  
  
Me: *sarcastically* Invincible Shield of Hermit Crab!!!  
  
Soun: AAAA!!! What a fearful technique!!  
  
Genma: Its my turn Tendo-kun!!  
  
Genma: Try punching through this!!! Defense of Green Tutle!!! *defensive stance*  
  
Ranma: Nice one Poop, I mean Pop!!!  
  
Me: THOMAS!!!  
  
Thomas: Flaming Fist of Giant Kangaroo!!! *battle aura*  
  
Genma: It is useless!!!  
  
Thomas: *punch* WOOORRRYAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Genma: *gets knocked into stratosphere* NYAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Ranma: POP!!!  
  
Soun: What a very fearful attack!!!  
  
Ranma: Oh you gotta be shitting me.  
  
Me: Giant Kangaroo?  
  
Thomas: Cool name huh?  
  
Me: Well, lets combine our techniques now!!!  
  
Thomas: On 3. 1, 2, 3!!!  
  
Thomas and Me: Hidden Lizard.  
  
*Thomas puts Me in front of him as we slowly move torwards our adversary*  
  
Ranma: Chestnut Fist!!!  
  
Genma: Flaming Fist!!!  
  
*no effect obviously*  
  
Thomas and Me: Attacking Lion.  
  
*Thomas is in front of Me now.*  
  
Ranma: Nani?  
  
*Thomas lunges two punches to our enemy*  
  
Thomas and Me: COMBINATION ATTACK!!!!  
  
Ranma and Soun: *gets knocked to stratosphere* NYAAAAAA!!  
  
Thomas: We are victorious.  
  
Me: Without a sweat.  
  
Thomas: WE GET TO BE CIVILIZED AGAIN!!!  
  
Me: YAAHHOOOOO!!!  
  
*SHOWDOWN ENDS*  
  
Thomas and Me: *singing* Oh, shiny needle!!! Through the cloth!!! Piercing my poor little pinky blood spilling through the crack-  
  
*insert dramatic voiced music here*  
  
Akane: *talking to herself* The Invincible Shield of Herit Crab, Flaming Fist of Giant Kangaroo, and the Hidden Lizard Attacking Lion Combination Attack. What strong attacks. They, who seem to be in high school must have been practicing an art far more fearful than any other. Tens of thousands of years old maybe!!!  
  
Nabiki: Onna-chan? What is going on? AND WHY IS THERE A HUGE CRATER IN THE BACKYARD???  
  
Akane: Onna-san!!! Dad, Mr. Saotome, and Ranma were challenged by martial artists and lost!!!  
  
Nabiki: NANI??? Then what will happen to our dojo sign?  
  
Akane: I can't believe they lost.  
  
Nabiki: I gotta call Kasumi. ONNA-SAN!!!  
  
Akane: Well, a deal is a deal.  
  
Me: HONTO??? YYEEEEHHAAA!!!  
  
Akane: Well, more perverts in the house.  
  
Thomas: What did you say??????  
  
Akane: AAA! He he. Nothing, nothing.  
  
The real Me: WAIT!!! I NEED TO SAY AN AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!  
  
The real EA: Cue sad music!!!  
  
*sad music*  
  
The real Me: Hello OmnipotentDemigod. I know you are reading this. I just have to say with your simple review of "HEHE" has made history!!! BE PROUD!!! This is the first review I have ever got in my whole entire sad life! *sniff* Thanks!!! NOW ON WITH THE STORY LAZYASSES!!! I AM NOT PAYING YOU WORTHLESS CREW OF MINE TO JUST SIT AROUND LISTENING TO AUTHOR'S NOTES!!! NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!!  
  
The real EA: Jeez, what the fuck is up with him?  
  
The real Me: I HEARD THAT!!!  
  
The real EA: Gulp!!! Back to the story!!!  
  
(That evening)  
  
Me: Ahhh.. I can live a life again!!  
  
Thomas: This is the life!!  
  
Soun: *sob* Oh why? Why? Why did we lose??? WAAHHH!!! More mouths to feed! More worthless freeloaders!!!  
  
Akane: As if there weren't enough freeloaders already.  
  
Ranma: AHEM!!!  
  
Soun: Well, introduce yourselves, gaijins.  
  
Me: Well, as if you can't be more rude.  
  
Thomas: My name is-  
  
*RING RING*  
  
Akane: I'll pick it up.  
  
*Akane picks up phone*  
  
Akane: Hello? Tendo residence. Akane speaking.  
  
???: Do you have a visitor?  
  
Akane: Why, yes.  
  
???: Gaijins?  
  
Akane: Yes.  
  
???: Started living with you?  
  
Akane: Yes. How come you know?  
  
???: I see. So you guys lost. HAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Akane: Who is this?  
  
???: My name isn't important right now. And why are you calling me a pervert?  
  
Akane: What? I didn't say anything!  
  
???: I can hear it straight from your head.  
  
Akane: No way. you're one of those guys???  
  
???: Yes. I have a power too. Now can I speak with the one with the defense technique?  
  
Akane: You, over there! Someone wants to speak with you!!!  
  
Thomas: Me?  
  
Akane: No, not you! The other freak.  
  
Me: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A FREAK!!! JAPANESE PEOPLE CAN BE SO RUDE!!!  
  
Akane: Whoops.  
  
Me: GIMME DA PHONE, YOU JAP!  
  
Me: Hello? Trevor speaking.  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: I will eat fried lays?  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: I will poision what bay?  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: Who's gay?  
  
???: You will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: Of course you know that this is getting cornier and cornier.  
  
???: Well, I agree. But still, you will die in 7 days.  
  
Me: RANMA!!! YOU'RE FRIEND SADAKO IS CALLING!!!  
  
Ranma: Huh?  
  
???: This is no time to ignore me, Trevor.  
  
Me: Who is this?  
  
???: Hey, how come Thomas was stupid enough to get run over by an 18-whee- I mean a bicycle?  
  
Me: How do you know??  
  
???: That is not important right now.  
  
Me: WHO IS THIS???  
  
???: Its best if you didn't know.  
  
Me: EA, is that you?  
  
???: How the fu-  
  
Me: He he he. You don't think I could forget your voice did you?  
  
EA: How did you know? Can you read minds too?  
  
Me: No. Is reading minds your power?  
  
EA: It appears to be.  
  
Me: Well, our trip to this world has somehow altered our genetic material causing the cell structure of every part of our body including the brain and we received superhuman powers as well as an overdose in testosterone causing an alter in our age! (What a long sentence!!!)  
  
EA: *drool* What?  
  
Me: Never mind. Hey, you watch Ranma right? Where are you now?  
  
EA: I'm in a phone booth outside the Tendo Dojo.  
  
Me: Could you please-  
  
EA: I know. I have to go in because you challenged the Tendo Dojo in a duel so that if you win we can live there and we'll be freeloaders and we can live civilized lives again cause we can eat and sleep well now and it will be fun because we can talk with the Ranma cast and we can be friends again, and you won? (Longer SENTENCE!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
Me: *sleep* Huh?? What did you day?  
  
EA: You did that on purpose!  
  
Me: What DID you say?  
  
EA: You know what I said. You can't escape my power!!!  
  
Me: Stinker.  
  
EA: So, I can just go in?  
  
Me: *hang up*  
  
EA: Why that no good.  
  
Phone: Please deposit 100 yen, thank you.  
  
EA: Whoops.  
  
*knock knock*  
  
Me: That must be him now!  
  
*opens gate*  
  
EA: Guys!!! I finally found you!!! 24 grueling hours of searching and reading people's minds and I finally found you!! Oh yeah! I rule! I rock! I'm da best!! I am the 8 3 $ T |\/| A |\| in da |/\| () R L D!!!  
  
Thomas: Hey, that's not nice!!  
  
EA: Whos gonna stop me, muscle head?  
  
Thomas: Want a punch? My power is strength you know.  
  
Me: Shut up, both of you.  
  
EA and Thomas: YOU SHUT UP!!! *punches me*  
  
Me: AHEM. Your petty attacks are useless against my power, defense!!!  
  
EA and Thomas: GRRRR. Well, its great to be back.  
  
Me: I'm glad we found each other again.  
  
EA: *sniff* I love you guys! WAAAAAHHHH!!!  
  
Thomas: Group hug!!!  
  
EA and Me: Forget it!!  
  
Thomas: *punches EA and Me*  
  
EA and Me: *blown to stratosphere* NOOOO!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEEEEEEEEEENNDDDD!!!!  
  
Thomas: What a bunch of asswipes.  
  
Akane: I think I'm gonna like this guy.  
  
The real Thomas: Wow! That was touching.  
  
The real EA: Who cares? I am finally in the fic, woooot!!!  
  
The real Me: Well, sneak peek time!!  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Me: What do you mean we're gonna die?  
  
Tofu: You three don't have much time.  
  
Thomas: How long?  
  
Tofu: Roughly 3 days?  
  
EA: 3 days? But-but-but-but-but-  
  
Tofu: Sorry. There is nothing I can do.  
  
Thomas: NOTHING?  
  
Tofu: Well there is one way.  
  
Me: What?  
  
Tofu: We need the last Charm.  
  
Thomas: What Charm?  
  
Tofu: The Charm of Unity. It enables you to survive in this world. And I think someone has it.  
  
Me: Who?  
  
Tofu: I don't know. But you have to find him before its too late.  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
The real EA: OH NO! What will happen to us?  
  
The real Me: And what is the "Charm" in the first place?  
  
The real Thomas: Find out in the next chapter!  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	6. Enter Besa! Don’t you mess with sparky!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?   
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 6: Enter Besa! Don't you mess with sparky!  
  
The real EA: Well, I gotta admit. We have come so far.  
  
The real Me: Nonsense! Besa still isn't here yet!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah!  
  
The real Me: Let's make The real Besa a host here!  
  
The real Besa: Whats up guys?  
  
The real EA: Great. More hosts. More characters. A harder to manage story.  
  
The real Me: HEY! WHO'S THE AUTHOR HERE, BITCH?  
  
The real Besa: Hey! I'm in the fic! Uhhhh, heh heh. Cooooooool.  
  
The real Thomas: On with the story!  
  
Ok. We finally met each other after numerous chapters. We live in the Tendo's residence now. We met so many characters that we only meet in fantasies. We became striking young men and we have superpowers to boot! But, we have to take care of a few issues. For example, the Tendos don't know our names yet and we don't know where exactly our powers came from and finally, we don't have a fucking idea of how to get out of this hell hole of heaven!  
  
Akane: Hey, you guys! You brought another one with you?  
  
Me: Yep.  
  
Ranma: By the way, you haven't told us your names.  
  
Me: My name is Trevor.  
  
Thomas: I'm Thomas.  
  
EA: And I am EA.  
  
Ranma: Strange names.  
  
Me: Who're you calling strange you sex changing nympho?  
  
Ranma: How did you know?  
  
Akane: My name is-  
  
Me and EA: Akane Tendo.  
  
Akane: Right. How did you know?  
  
Me and EA: And these are your sisters, Nabiki and Kasumi Tendo. And your father Soun Tendo and Ranma's father, Genma Saotome, who turns into a panda when doused with cold water.  
  
Tendo Family: How the fuck did you know about us?  
  
Me: Well, that is a little hard to explain.  
  
EA: You see, in our world, you are in comic books and in animes.  
  
Kasumi: Oh my.  
  
Me: You guys have so many admirers around the world, including Japan!  
  
EA: You are just animated characters and pigments of our imagination.  
  
Me: But somehow, a certain SOMEONE had a little accident and we ended up here.  
  
Thomas: HEY!! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! THE GLASS WAS SO SHINY!!!  
  
Ranma: HEY! Did you say glass?  
  
Akane: They did!!  
  
Thomas: Yeah. We were cut by glass and we're here now.  
  
Ranma: Could they be...  
  
Genma: No way...  
  
Tendo Family: THE CHARMERS!!!  
  
Akane: So that explains your unusual powers.  
  
Me: Please help us! We don't know what other side effects this world might have on us! Do you know anyone interested in cosmology or otherworlds?  
  
Ranma: Dr. Tofu has been reading this certain book about you guys and he said that you are to arrive soon. So we were prepared.  
  
EA: Please take us to him!!! I need my inhaler!!!  
  
Everyone except EA: o_O  
  
EA: I have fucking asthma!  
  
Thomas: Ok. So, what do we do until then?  
  
Me: Uhh, asshole. WE LIVE HERE NOW!!!!  
  
Thomas: Ohh.. Heh heh heh.  
  
Me: You are a dumb son of an asswipe.  
  
Kasumi: Everyone! Dinner is ready! I made extra for our new borders!  
  
Me: Food!!  
  
EA: We haven't eaten in days!!  
  
Thomas: I did.  
  
EA: I know. You ate the birds and the bees while stuck up a tree.  
  
Akane: Ewww...  
  
Thomas: It wasn't pleasant. One day in fact, I was so grossed out that I ate my own shit and drank my own urine.  
  
Me: Uhhh... asshole. Why the fuck didn't you get down from the tree???  
  
Thomas: Cause' of Spongebob.  
  
EA and Me: Oh.  
  
Everyone: LET'S EAT!!!  
  
Kasumi: Oh, Trevor-kun? You three familiar with Japanese culture?  
  
Me: You should see how we start eating in my country. Heh heh.  
  
Kasumi: You speak very good Japanese.  
  
Me: Yeah. We suddenly learned Japanese when we entered this world.  
  
Me: Hey! You should hear us speak our native language!  
  
Akane: Filipino? Sure! Speak!  
  
Me: *winks at EA and Thomas*.  
  
EA: Huh?  
  
Me: Murahin natin sila. (Let's curse them).  
  
EA: Sige. Mga puta lang sila, eh! (Sure. They're just bitches!)  
  
Me: Huwag mong sabihin yan' tanga. Baka marinig ka nila. (Don't say that, dumbass. They might hear us.)  
  
EA: Ikaw naman ang tanga, eh. Hindi nila tayo maintindihan, gago. (You are the dumbass. They CAN'T understand us, bitch.)  
  
Thomas: Hoy! Pwede ko tong sabihin! Hoy, Akane! Gagonginamo at gago ka rin! (Hey! I can say this! Hey, Akane, your mother is a bitch and so are you!)  
  
Me: Gusto mong sabihin ko kay Akane yung sinabi mo sa Niponggo? (Do you want me to tell Akane what you told her in Japanese?)  
  
Thomas: Ay huwag, gago!! Pag ginawa mo iyan, puputulin ko ang titi mo! (Don't do that, bitch! If you do that, I will chop your dick off!!)  
  
Me: Sige, sige, hindi na. Peksman. (Alright, alright, no more, promise!)  
  
Kasumi: Well, that was interesting.  
  
Ranma: Hey, could you translate for us?  
  
Thomas: We'd rather not.  
  
EA: You don't wanna know what we said.  
  
(Later that night)  
  
Thomas: *slouching* Do you guys really stay up this late?  
  
Me: Shhh. We're getting to the good part.  
  
TV: AHHH!!! IT'S THE MONSTER!!!  
  
TV: HAHAHA!!! I WILL EAT YOUR HEAD!!  
  
TV: HELP ME!!!  
  
TV: THE END!!!  
  
Me: Wow. That was... uh... good.  
  
Thomas: Can we sleep now? I'm really sleepy.  
  
Me: What bird did you eat anyway?  
  
Thomas: I ate a one with a black beak and blue wings.  
  
Me: That was a bird with sedative in it's meat.  
  
Thomas: Then a one with a red beak and violet wings!  
  
Me: Oh SHIT!!! Run everyone!!!  
  
Everyone but Thomas: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Thomas: What?  
  
EA: Cover your noses!!!  
  
*POOOOOOOOOOOTTT*  
  
Me: EEEWWWWWWW!!!  
  
EA: I guess that bird has a lot of gas.  
  
Me: Yep.  
  
Ranma: PEEE YOOO!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU GUYS STAY HERE!!!  
  
Akane: RANMA!! Don't say that.  
  
(LATER)  
  
Me Thomas and EA: ZZZZZZzzzzZZZzzZzZZz.  
  
Ranma: *whispering* Why do they have to stay in my room?  
  
Genma-panda: Opo po po opopo po po. ZZZzzzZZzz.  
  
(That Morning...)  
  
Thomas: GOOOOD MORNING MIIINNNAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Me and EA: SSSHHHUUTTT UUUPPPP BIIIITTTTCHHHH!!!!  
  
Thomas: Sheesh. Be more LIVELY!!!!  
  
EA: What are you, gay?  
  
Thomas: You're in deep shit EA.  
  
EA: Huh? *notices man he's standing on*  
  
Ranma: Why you...  
  
EA: You're gonna-  
  
*WWWHHHAAACKKK*  
  
EA: *gets knocked into stratosphere* PUNCH ME ARE YOU????  
  
Thomas: See you in rehab!!!  
  
Me: So aren't we gonna go to Tofu's now?  
  
The real Besa: When do I enter?  
  
The real Me: Not yet.  
  
The real Besa: Cmon!!!  
  
The real EA: SHUT UP!!!  
  
The real Me: Get back to the story.......... NOW!!!  
  
Now, lets focus on another location in the story. More specifically, a girls' locker room at the Furinkan High P.E. area. A small figure is seen hopping amongst the women.  
  
Happosai: OH!!! SWEEEETOOO!!!!  
  
Girl: AAAAACKK!!! HENTAIII!!!  
  
Happosai: White is so off-season!!! Ha ha ha ha!!!  
  
Girl: ESCAPE!!! SAVE OURSELVES!!! FORGET THE UNDERWEAR!!!  
  
Hapossai: Wise decision!! HA ha ha ha ha HAAA!!!  
  
Akane: Those gaijins are so lucky to not have school!! Ranma HAD to be the one to stay home and look after them!!!  
  
(THE LOCKER ROOM... NOW EMPTY)  
  
Happosai: OOOHHH SWEEETOOOO!!! *dances in river of gym shorts*  
  
Happosai: Huh? One more locker left!  
  
*Happosai walks to the closed locker*  
  
Happosai: Huh? I sense there is something heavy in here. *opens locker*  
  
Happosai: NANI?? NYAAAAAAAAAAA!!! WHO ARE YOU???  
  
???: ......................help me.  
  
Happosai: Young man, what are you doing in a girl's locker?  
  
???: You have no idea how long I've been in here.  
  
Happosai: Good thing that locker's never been used. You could have been killed by those evil women I chased away! Good thing I shooed them away.  
  
???: Yeah. Thanks. HUH??? YOU'RE A MIDGET OLD MAN????  
  
Happosai: DON'T MAKE FUN OF AN OLD MAN'S SIZE, DELINQUENT BOY!!!  
  
Happosai: Why are you here anyway?  
  
???: You won't believe me even if I tell you.  
  
Happosai: Delusional? Or a pervert with a stupid excuse?  
  
Happosai: Well, how would you like to join me?  
  
???: Huh?  
  
Happosai: You will never be deprived of what you seek again.  
  
???: MASTER!!! *bows down*  
  
Happosai: Come with me boy... to the land of salvation!!!  
  
???: *bambi eyes* YES SIR!!!  
  
Meanwhile... in Dr. Tofu's office...  
  
Me: Why do we have powers in the first place?  
  
Tofu: Well, I can only base this on an ancient urban legend.  
  
Me: An urban legend?  
  
Tofu: Well, legends say of 4 young men visiting our world from another dimension. Each one of them had many distinct "Charms" or unusual abilities, traits, and body alterations. But with it came a price. They were fitted with several other "Discharms". We don't know exactly how many but they are grave indeed. I only know one and this is the worst of all. Legends say that four certain people like you came to this world. Well it was fun for them for the first few days. On the fifth day, one of them left. But at the strike of noon, they all died. And I think it was because the fourth charm was supposed to be a charm that was supposed to keep them alive. But it was supposed to be activated on that very same day. But since the fourth one was separated from the rest...  
  
Me: What do you mean we're gonna die?  
  
Tofu: You three don't have much time.  
  
Thomas: How long?  
  
Tofu: Roughly 3 days?  
  
EA: 3 days? But-but-but-but-but-  
  
Tofu: Sorry. There is nothing I can do.  
  
Thomas: NOTHING?  
  
Tofu: Well there is one way.  
  
Me: What?  
  
Tofu: We need the last Charm.  
  
Thomas: What Charm?  
  
Tofu: The Charm of Unity. It enables you to survive in this world. And I think someone has it.  
  
Me: Who?  
  
Tofu: I don't know. But you have to find him before its too late.  
  
Me: It's the fourth one!! He has that charm!!!  
  
EA: But, we haven't met him yet!!!  
  
Thomas: Think guys! Who else goes to our secret spot??  
  
Me: Heh. You can't even think!!!  
  
Thomas: HEY!!!  
  
EA: Who else DOES go to our secret spot?  
  
Thomas Me and EA: Hmmmm.....  
  
Thomas Me and EA: Besa!!!  
  
Thomas: Right!! Besa does go with us!!!  
  
EA: Yeah!! He hangs out with us!!  
  
Me: One problem... where is Besa??  
  
Tofu: You better hurry. You all must do the merging ritual before the strike of noon three days from now. If you don't, all you four will die.  
  
Ranma: No way...  
  
Tofu: We can't confirm it yet, but there are too many coincidences. We can't be too careful.  
  
Me: So, if he becomes evil or something, Thomas can just punch him?  
  
Tofu: Don't be so sure. The Charm of Unity is just extra. His real charm might be more powerful and he might take advantage of it.  
  
*someone arrives*  
  
Kasumi: Hello everyone! Just happened to pas by!!  
  
Tofu: *glasses fog up* OHHH!!! HI KASUMI-CHAN!!!  
  
Kasumi: Tofu-sensei, that's Betty?  
  
Tofu: OHHH?? HI KASUMI!!!!  
  
Kasumi: Tofu-sensei, you are so silly.  
  
EA: Just spill it already, Tofu. You love her don't you.  
  
Kasumi: Ha?  
  
Me: *whack*  
  
EA: OW!! I mean, stop fooling around, doctor.  
  
Me: Don't even DARE to spoil the flow of the Ranma storyline.  
  
EA: But I wanna!!!  
  
Thomas: Well, I'd better take care of the doctor and snap him out of his senses. If you know what I mean.  
  
EA: Ok. Good luck. I hope.  
  
Me: Well, thank you doctor... if you can still hear me.  
  
Kasumi: HELLO! KASUMI-CHAN!!! NICE OF YOU TO BE HERE.  
  
Ranma: Well, cmon guys.  
  
(Later... in a middle of some street...)  
  
Me: We gotta find Besa.  
  
EA: Uhh... asshole. WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK HE...  
  
Happosai: OHH SWEETOOO!!!  
  
???: OHH SWEETOOO!!!  
  
Ranma: OLD MAN!!!  
  
Me: Happosai!!!  
  
Ranma: Did you watch or read him too?  
  
Me: Of course!!  
  
Me: But I didn't read about that other guy.  
  
Ranma: He must be that old fart's new apprentice.  
  
Me: Kick his ass, Ranma.  
  
Ranma: Here goes!!!!  
  
*Ranma drop kicks the unknown masked man*  
  
???: AAACKKK!!!! *splat*  
  
Happosai: AAAA??? What do you think you're doing, Ranma?  
  
Ranma: Don't influence another one, old fart.  
  
Happosai: Omo eirro....  
  
Me: Tanga sila lahat. (They're all idiots.)  
  
EA: Sumasang-ayon ako. (I agree.)  
  
Ranma: Hey, what did you guys say?  
  
Me: Nice drop kick.  
  
Ranma: Oh.  
  
???: You're off-guard, pigtailed dude!!!  
  
Ranma: Nani???  
  
*masked man's hand penetrates Ranma's back sending him a powerful electrical shock*  
  
Ranma: AAAAAKKKK!!!!!!!  
  
*BBBBBZZZZZTTTT!!!!*  
  
???: You're finished.  
  
Ranma: *collapses*  
  
Me: RANMA!!  
  
EA: It can't Ranma 1/2 anymore without Ranma!!!  
  
Me: You fiend!!!  
  
???: Wanna fight?  
  
Me: You're on!!!  
  
???: *hands spark*  
  
Me: Hey, help me with your mind reading here.  
  
EA: OK!!!  
  
???: 1 on 2. Not fair odds, for you.  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
*insert very very very exciting battle music here*  
  
Me: *punch*  
  
???: *evade*  
  
EA: WATCH OUT!!!  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
???: *shoots electric spark*  
  
Me: ACKKK!! *evades*  
  
???: So, you can predict movements. Lets see if you're fast enough to evade it.  
  
EA: Of course you know you are only vulnerable to physical attacks.  
  
Me: I know.  
  
EA: Uhh... Trevor... WATCH OUT!!!!  
  
???: You're off-guard, fool!!!!  
  
Me: *gets electrocuted* AAAAAAAACCKKK!!!  
  
I collapse on the ground together with Ranma. The masked man has without a doubt a very powerful technique. It is up to EA now. Will he able to able to the turn the masked man off?  
  
EA: Oh shit.  
  
???: Now, you're turn!!!  
  
EA: I know what you will do.  
  
???: YAA!!! *punch*  
  
EA: *evades and jumps*  
  
???: HUH??  
  
EA: Eat this!!! *drop kicks*  
  
???: *gets hit* AAAACKKK  
  
EA: Now, to find out your name. *reads masked man's mind*  
  
???: No, don't!!  
  
EA: WHAT??? NO WAY!!!  
  
???: You bastard...  
  
EA: BESA!!! Is that you??  
  
???: How do you know my name?  
  
EA: It's me! EA!!  
  
Besa: HUH?  
  
EA: And that guy you just knocked down was Trevor!!!  
  
Besa: Liar!!! My friends would never fight me! No matter what!!!  
  
EA: We didn't know it was you!!!  
  
Besa: Misleader!!! I will kill you!!!! I will kill you all!!!  
  
Happosai: Now... now... partner. Don't get carried away!  
  
Besa: Stay out of this, old fart!!!  
  
EA: Besa... what happened to you?  
  
Besa: I'LL KILL YOU!!!! *sparks fly all over body*  
  
EA: BESA!!! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!!  
  
Besa: You are all freaks. I may not know where I am, but I finally realized. I CAN'T TRUST ANY OF YOU!!!  
  
EA: Besa... you....  
  
Besa: I don't know what I'm doing anymore!!! I know for some reason that I can't return. If I cant live anymore, I might as well kill everyone myself!!!  
  
EA: Besa! Nooooooo!!!  
  
The real Me: WHOOO!! CHAPTER END!!!  
  
The real EA: AAACKK!! You surprised me there!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah. Don't do that all of a sudden!!  
  
The real Me: Heh he...  
  
The real Besa: WOW!!! I HAVE SOOPER POWIRS!! YEEHAOOO!!!  
  
The real EA: Wait! I didn't see the *SHOWDOWN END* yet!!!  
  
The real Me: That's 'cause the showdown isn't over!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Ooooohh. Suspense.  
  
The real EA: Haven't you noticed? Its getting a bit too serious. Well at least in my point of view.  
  
The real Me: Only this part. Don't worry. Look at this sneak peek!!  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Shampoo: Watching out!!!  
  
Thomas: Oh no. I'm not falling for that again.  
  
EA: No Thomas, she's serious!!!  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo no joke!!!!  
  
*!!!!CRASH!!!!*  
  
Thomas: Oh shi- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Miyu: Hee hee! What a baka!! Hee hee!!  
  
Me: Ironic, but he is a bobo (idiot).  
  
EA: Isang tangang bobo talaga. (He's a real STUPID idiot.)  
  
Me: Sa wakas!!! Tama ang sinabi mo!!! (Finally!!! You said something right!!!)  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
The real Me: Well, stay tuned everyone! And remember...  
  
All the hosts: READ AND REVIEW! AND NO FLAMES!!!! THIS IS DACOP'S FIRST FIC!!!  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	7. Enter Bobby! Did we make it in time?

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?   
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 7: Enter Bobby! Did we make it in time?  
  
The real EA: When we last left us...  
  
The real Thomas: We were fighting Besa!!  
  
The real Me: So, let us continue...  
  
The real Besa: Wit' da storeee!!!  
  
(BACK TO THE SHOWDOWN)  
  
Besa: Any last words?  
  
EA: Wait! Besa!  
  
Besa: Die, impostor!!  
  
EA: It is us!!!  
  
Besa: You can't fool me! My friends are back home!!!  
  
EA: How come you did not find us and you got sliced by a shiny piece of glass?  
  
Besa: Uhh... Wow. That's a tricky question.  
  
EA: You're off-guard, bitch!!! *drop kick*  
  
Besa: OOFF!!!  
  
EA: Now for the finale!! *series of attacks*  
  
*WHAPACK!!!*  
  
Besa: Ooohh... look at the pretty snowman. *faints*  
  
EA: Hehe... good guys always win, do they?  
  
*SHOWDOWN ENDS*  
  
The real EA: Wow! That was cool!! Do it again!!!  
  
The rest of the hosts: NO!!!  
  
The real Thomas: We hate it if you hog all the glory?  
  
The real Besa: Yah. Trev, whay did yo make EA doo dat??  
  
The real Me: Well, I HAD TO!!! THE CROWD FORCED ME!!!  
  
The real Thomas: What crowd, asshole?  
  
The real Me: Ummm....  
  
The real ???: HEY!!!  
  
The real Besa: YO! YO! Shuddup, yo!  
  
The real ???: What? A yoyo? FOR ME!!! Awww... Thanks.  
  
The real Besa: Yo!! It ain't a yoyo, yo!  
  
The real Me: Joke's over Bobby.  
  
The real Bobby: Shit.  
  
The real Me: Sorry. There ain't space here anymore for another host.  
  
The real Bobby: Say that again? *shoves barrel of SOCOM down my throat*  
  
The real Me: MMFF!!! MFFF!!! MOF!! IT!!!  
  
The real EA: OK! OK! Don't cause any trouble!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Ok. You can be a host! Just don't make him shit lead!!!  
  
The real Bobby. Good. Now isn't it better now that we can get along?  
  
The real Besa: Yo said it, yo! Or not, yo!!!  
  
The real Bobby: I'm not what, sane?  
  
The real Besa: Just shuddup yo!! We're wastin' time here!! Back too da storee!!!  
  
The real Me: Yuck. That tasted like a gun.  
  
The real Besa: Yo are dumm, yo!!  
  
Besa: *unconscious*  
  
EA: Heh.  
  
Ranma: *wakes up* Man!! Who was that guy?  
  
EA: He was one of us. Unfortunately, he did not recognize us. Look where that got him.  
  
Me: *wakes up* HEY!!! *battle stance* Die, masked man! Oh, you're defeated. YAY!!!  
  
Thomas: Hey guys! Kasumi said dinner's rea- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU???  
  
Me: Long story, Thomas.  
  
Thomas: Well, who's that lying on the ground?  
  
EA: That's Besa.  
  
Thomas: COOL! The more the merrier, ehh he he he.  
  
Me: Well, lets take electro here back to Tofu's  
  
(LATER...)  
  
Tofu: Hey! What are you guys doing here? It's dinnertime! And why are some of you in bandages?  
  
EA: Long story.  
  
Tofu: That's what Ranma said when he was impaled by a pole.  
  
Ranma: HEY! That never happened!!!  
  
Tofu: Don't be silly. The pole went through your head.  
  
Ranma: That explains it. *knocks on head and hears a hollow sound*  
  
Me: Don't be dumb enough to believe him. That's just your ears making noises.  
  
Besa: *wakes up* Ohhhh... what the heck happened?  
  
EA: Awake already, electro?  
  
Thomas: His NAME is Besa, idiot.  
  
Besa: Uhohhh.. HUH?? YOU AGAIN!!!  
  
EA: Besa. Give it up it IS us.  
  
Besa: Oh yeah? Then if you are the real EA, what is the book you hated the most?  
  
EA: AAA!! You mean "True Filipino Ghost Stories part 2"?  
  
Besa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
EA: See?  
  
Besa: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Thomas: Besa!  
  
Besa: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *inhale* OOOOOO  
  
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SON OF AN ASS!!!  
  
Besa: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Thomas: *punches Besa sending him to the magnetosphere*  
  
EA: Thanks.  
  
Thomas: Don't mention it.  
  
Tofu: Well it's a good thing you came. I have something important to tell you.  
  
Me: What?  
  
Tofu: I'm afraid I have misread the context in this book. These faulty glasses of mine.  
  
EA: Yeah. Look at all that fog *laugh*.  
  
Tofu: Very funny, EA.  
  
Me: Well?  
  
Tofu: Well, your friend Besa does not have the Charm.  
  
EA: WHAT???  
  
Tofu: And there is another one of you. And he's got the charm.  
  
Thomas: NO WAY!!!  
  
Ranma: Well, what else?  
  
Tofu: Oh no. You will die in 30 MINUTES if you don't find him.  
  
Me: AAAAAHH!!!!  
  
EA: HOLY SHIT!! WE'RE FUCKING GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!  
  
Me: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!!  
  
Thomas: OK! Guys, think. Who ELSE goes to our secret spot?  
  
Ranma: Hurry it up.  
  
EA: Haven't a clue.  
  
Thomas: Me neither.  
  
Besa: *crawling* Guys, I overheard what you said.  
  
Thomas: When did you get back????  
  
Besa: *does dirty finger to Thomas*  
  
EA: Well? Do you know?  
  
Besa: Nope...  
  
Me: WAIT!!!  
  
EA: What?  
  
Me: Bobby! He goes with us, right?  
  
Thomas: YES!! I LOVE YOU MAN!!!  
  
Me: He he. I rule, do I?  
  
EA: There aint much time left!!! Besa, stay here with Doctor so he can cure your uhhh wounds while we look for Bobby.  
  
Me: Oh, and if you die in 30... I mean 29 minutes, blame Thomas okay?  
  
Thomas: HEY!! That's not fair!!  
  
Me: Shut the hell up!! Let's go!!!  
  
(LATER...)  
  
Ranma: He isn't anywhere!!!  
  
Me: What are we gonna do?  
  
The real Besa: Wazzup yo. This is Besa making a... he he... live broadcast. I am here to present... "Trevor in NUDE"!!! He he.  
  
The real Me: HOLY SHIT!! BESA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The real Besa: C'mon man!! Just joshin yo!!  
  
The real Me: Bobby, take care of this shithole would you?  
  
The real Bobby: My pleasure. *shoots Besa's head off*  
  
*BANG*  
  
The real EA: HOLY SHIT!! BOBBY! WHAT HAVE YOU FUCKING DONE???  
  
The real Bobby: Don't worry. It's just a story.  
  
The real Me: Uhh, asshole. THIS IS REAL LIFE, BITCH!!  
  
The real Bobby: Oh shit.  
  
The real Thomas: What if the cops find out?  
  
*silence*  
  
All the hosts: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
The real EA: Wait! Don't panic! We'll just clean this up.  
  
The real Me: Great. Now Besa's dead. HE'S FUCKING DEAD!!!  
  
The real Bobby: What about his parents? How will we break it to them??  
  
*silence*  
  
All the hosts: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Sorry readers, we can't continue our "interruption" for a while. Back to the story!!!  
  
Me: We need more manpower!!!  
  
Ranma: Well, who are we gonna ask???  
  
Miyu: Hey, Thomas!! What's up?  
  
Thomas: *winks at gang* Hey!! Miyu!! We need a favor.  
  
Miyu: Sure!! Hee hee!  
  
Thomas: We need to look for someone named Bobby. Can you go with us?  
  
Miyu: My pleasure! Hee hee!  
  
Ranma: Hey, Miyu!!  
  
Miyu: Hey, Ranma-kun!!  
  
Ranma: So, did you give it to Kuno?  
  
Miyu: Yep!! That bomb love letter will explode in *looks at watch* 5... 4...  
  
(AT KUNO'S HOUSE...)  
  
Kuno: OHHH!!! I received a love letter from my usagi no onna!!!  
  
Kuno: It says... "My dear Kuno, I love you! Please meet me at Mario's café at 2 PM! Lets have a date! I love you soooooooo much my dar-"  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM*  
  
Kuno: *gets blown into the sky* I love you too usagi no onnaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  
  
Miyu: See the smoke?  
  
Ranma: Good job, Miyu! Wow, that's high. Really high. Really really high.  
  
Miyu: Chii? I mean... huh?  
  
Ranma: Oh shit. Um... Miyu? I did tell you to put just one firecracker in the envelope, right?  
  
Miyu: Oh? Hee hee!! Silly me!! I put ONE hundred!! Hee hee!!  
  
Ranma: Bitch!!! KUNOOOO!!! I'M SORRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
*Ranma runs off*  
  
Miyu: HMPH!! You didn't even say thank you!!! Men these days...  
  
Me: He seems more of a wuss than I remember.  
  
Thomas: Yeah. Kinda OOC.  
  
EA: Huh?  
  
Thomas: Oh, nothing.  
  
*a figure walks by them*  
  
???: Hmmm... a sense of belonging.... and regret.  
  
Thomas: ?  
  
???: Doo doo roop. I ate beans for lunch. Dee dee da.  
  
EA: Huh?  
  
???: Alone in the dark. Forever hidden from the light of the crowd.  
  
Me: What the?  
  
???: The amazing truck-o-dile! Only on pay-per-view.  
  
Miyu: Huh?  
  
???: The rocks burned in a hellish fire before they were the strength beneath our feet and so the trees faced harsh winds before they could give us life.  
  
Thomas: Mmm??  
  
???: Happy hour; 50% off!!! Only on Mondays!!!  
  
Me: Umm... sir? Is your name by any chance... Bobby?  
  
Bobby: Mmm? AAAAAAA!! Get away from me!!! You don't know me!!!  
  
Me: Wait! We want to talk to you!!!  
  
Bobby: Get away from me!!!  
  
Me: If you don't we are gonna die... *looks at watch* IN 8 MINUTES!!!!  
  
Thomas: He's a crazy hoot!! He isn't Bobby!!!  
  
Bobby: ARGHEN JARGHEN BARGHEN LARGHEN JUBBA PUT PUT PUT!!!!  
  
Thomas: Ok. He is Bobby................ GET HIM!!!!  
  
Bobby: Niner...  
  
Me: Bobby! It's us! Remember?  
  
Bobby: Stay away.... STAYYYY AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
Thomas: Whoah. Don't let your undies ride up your ass. We just want to talk.  
  
Bobby: Stay back! I tell you!!! Stay back!!! This is getting weird enough already!!!  
  
*cloaked man jumps on a roof*  
  
EA: Don't get any ideas. We wan't you to do us a favor!!!  
  
Me: Heh heh. THOMAS!! Look out!!!! HE'S THROWING A BOULDER AT YOU!!!  
  
Thomas: OH SHIT!! Huh?? *sees that he's being fooled* Why you son of an asshole.  
  
EA: LOOK! BOBBY! IT'S JUST US!!!  
  
Bobby: DIE!!!! *Holds a boulder above head*  
  
Shampoo: HEY!! You made muddy footprints all over restaurant!!!  
  
Me: Shampoo?  
  
Shampoo: Nihao! Remember me?  
  
Me: Don't remind me.  
  
Bobby: See?? I am actually being chased by fictional characters from an anime I love watching!!! You must all die!!! HA HA HA HA!!! *throws boulder*  
  
Thomas: *sees coin on the ground* Ohhh... shiny...  
  
Shampoo: HEY YOU!! HE JUST THREW A BOULDER AT YOU!!!  
  
Thomas: Huh?  
  
Shampoo: Watching out!!!  
  
Thomas: Oh no. I'm not falling for that again.  
  
EA: No Thomas, she's serious!!!  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo no joke!!!!  
  
*!!!!CRASH!!!!*  
  
Thomas: Oh shi- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Miyu: Hee hee! What a baka!! Hee hee!!  
  
Me: Ironic, but he is a bobo (idiot).  
  
EA: Isang tangang bobo talaga. (He's a real STUPID idiot.)  
  
Me: Sa wakas!!! Tama ang sinabi mo!!! (Finally!!! You said something right!!!)  
  
Bobby: Ano? Bakit nagtatagalog kayo? (What? Why are you speaking Filipino?)  
  
Me: Eh kasi Pilipino kami. ('Cause we're Filipinos)  
  
Bobby: Parang natatandaan ko yung boses mo. (I think I remember your voice.)  
  
Me: Ako si Trevor, tanga!! Ito si EA. At yung tinapunan mo ng malaking bato ay si Thomas. Natatandaan mo pa ba? (I'm Trevor, dumbass! This is EA. The one you squashed with a boulder was Thomas. You still remember, right?)  
  
Bobby: *gets down from the ceiling* Ahh. Pasensya na. Akala ko tuloy nababaliw na ako. (Ahh, sorry about that. I thought for a moment there that I lost my mind.)  
  
Me: Huwag mo nang isipin. Ipapaliwanag ko na lang sa iyo mamaya. Halika, hinihintay tayo ni Besa kay nina Doktor Tofu. (Don't mention it. I'll just explain it to you later. Come, Besa is waiting for us at Doctor Tofu's place.)  
  
Bobby: Os? Si Besa nandidiyan? (Really? Besa's there?)  
  
Me: Oo. Tsaka... NAKUPO!!! Limang minuto na lang bago tayo mamatay!! Dali!!! (Yeah. And... OH NO!!! Only five minutes left before we die! Hurry!!!)  
  
Bobby: Teka! Paano si Thomas? (Wait! How about Thomas?)  
  
Thomas: Mmmmff mmmfff!!!  
  
Me: *pushes rock with gang* TULAK!! TULAK PA!!! (PUSH!! PUSH HARDER!!!)  
  
Thomas: MMMMMMFFFFFF!!!  
  
Me: Yes!!  
  
Thomas: Sa susunod, pag niloko mo nanaman ako, sisipain ko ang dalawang itlog mong iyan!!! (Next time, if you fool me again, I will kick those two balls of yours!!!)  
  
Me: Sige, sige. Tara na! BILIS!!! Apat na minuto na lang!!! (Yeah, yeah. Come on! HURRY! Four minutes left!!!)  
  
Miyu: Hey! I don't want to be left out of the conversation! SPEAK IN JAPANESE!!! .................please?  
  
Me, EA, Bobby, and Thomas: HAIIII!!!!  
  
Miyu: Not that kind of Japanese.  
  
Me, EA, Bobby, and Thomas: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!  
  
Miyu: Hey! Don't do that! I'm just a poor girl.  
  
Thomas: I hate it when women take advantage of us.  
  
Me: Sinabi mo iyan!!!  
  
(A FEW SECONDS LATER)  
  
Me: It's almost 12 noon! Quick, Dr. Tofu! Tell us the merging ritual!!!  
  
Tofu: Hurry! 20 Seconds left!! Hold hands and say "DIKMUKAYSEE"!  
  
*gang holds hands*  
  
Every inserted character: DIKMUKAYSEE!!!  
  
Tofu: 2... 1...  
  
*the clock shows it is 12:00 noon*  
  
Me: We did it!  
  
Bobby: Uhh. What exactly did we do?  
  
EA: *pant* Doesn't matter now, WE'RE SAVED!!!  
  
Everyone except Bobby: YAYYYYY!!!  
  
Bobby: What the heck is going on??  
  
Tofu: Congratulations! It's a boy! I mean, you're alive!!  
  
Thomas: *choke* AACKKK!! OOOOGGG!!! *collapse*  
  
Tofu: Oh no!! I said it too soon!!  
  
EA: UOOLLLKKKK!! *collapse*  
  
Miyu: NOOOO!!!!  
  
Me: NYAKKKKK!!!! *collapse*  
  
Besa: ARCKKKKK!!! *collapse*  
  
Bobby: UUNNNNGGGG!!! *collapse*  
  
Miyu: *tears form in eyes* No way...  
  
Tofu: They're dead!!!  
  
Miyu: *cry* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WHY? WHY? WHYYYY?????  
  
Tofu: I can't believe it.  
  
The real Me: WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! CHAPTER END!!!  
  
The real EA: AAAAA!!!! I told you don't surprise me like that?  
  
The real Bobby: I have a question. WHY DID WE ALL DIE???  
  
The real Me: Then why is there still a next chapter?  
  
The real Bobby: Good point.  
  
The real Thomas: Speaking of death, how about Besa?  
  
*silence*  
  
All the Hosts: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
The real EA: Quick! Show them the sneak peek!  
  
--------------------------------------------------------  
  
Tofu: What a joke.  
  
Ranma: Yeah.  
  
Tofu: I mean, that is just plain stupid!!!  
  
Miyu: Hee hee! You said it!!  
  
???: What do you mean stupid??? It could've been worse!!!  
  
Ranma: Yeah right. I mean, a chicken bone?? How did a CHICKEN BONE get there so fast? HA HA HA!!!  
  
???: Very funny, Ranma. Very funny.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------  
  
The real Thomas: Now lets end this and lets clean up Besa's corpse.  
  
The real ???: You... bastard.  
  
The real EA: Oh SHIT!!! Uhh... he he. BYE FOLKS!!!  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	8. The evil entity, Rovert!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?   
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 8: The evil entity, Rovert!  
  
The real ???: Ha ha. I will kill yooouuuu.  
  
The real Me: Oh shit!!! It's... it's!!!!  
  
The real ???: Yo missed!!! Ha!!! Dat was fakie blud!!  
  
The real Bobby: Do you really want me to shoot your head off, yo?  
  
The real Besa: Yo! Yo! Yo! YOO!!!  
  
The real Bobby: Too late... *pulls trigger*  
  
The real Besa: SHIIIIITTTT!!!! HUH? Yo!! Dat was just wawa!!!  
  
The real Bobby: Water. Say WAAATTEEERRR.  
  
The real Besa: Wa.....wa. Wa.....tusi. Wa.........sup?  
  
The real Bobby: Say "you" not "yo"  
  
The real Besa: Yo......oooooo  
  
The real Bobby: Fine, be that way. *points M-16 at Besa's head*  
  
The real Besa: Imma nut gonna buy thet one... one mah time. PEACE!!!  
  
The real Bobby: You don't believe me? *Shoots TV*  
  
*BZZZZZZT*  
  
The real Me: Oh crap. You did it now, Bobby. THAT COSTED 5 PESOS IN THE GARAGE SALE!! DO YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW FUCKING MUCH IS 5 FUCKING PESOS??????  
  
The real Bobby: Who cares about your TV? You're about to get a bullet on your head. *points luger at Trevor's head*  
  
The real Me: I bet that has wawa I mean water in it.  
  
The real Bobby: Say that again and bye-bye paste.  
  
The real Me: I FUCKING BET THAT FUCKING HAS FUCKING WATER IN IT!!!  
  
The real Bobby: You asked for it. *Takes out MG42, mounts it on table, starts firing anything he sees*  
  
*everything breaks except for the computer and the camera*  
  
The real Bobby: Oops. I forgot something. *shoots computer*  
  
The real Me: BOBBYYYY!! I'M SO GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah!! How are we supposed to tell the story now?  
  
The real Bobby: We can just tell it right here, right now, asshole.  
  
The real Besa: Ok! I'll be da funkeh narrataw.  
  
One deh, I took ovah da wurld!! Den eburibodi baod down too mee! And I sent dees guys to da place wer da devil lives and is full of fiare.  
  
The real EA: Forget it Besa. The storyteller must be one of us THREE!  
  
The real Me: Then it's me! Ok! Back to the story!  
  
The real EA: Wait!  
  
Well, when we last left the gang, they died. Or so we think.  
  
Miyu: *sniff* Why did they have to die?  
  
Ranma: Hey, Tofu I need- WHAT THE HELL???  
  
Tofu: I'm sorry Ranma. We lost them.  
  
Ranma: No way!  
  
Tofu: There was nothing we could do. We couldn't change history.  
  
Ranma: Well, at least that's 5 freeloaders less.  
  
Miyu: DON'T SAY THAT!! *sniff*  
  
Ranma: Wow. You cared about them that much?  
  
Miyu: They were my friends! They were all our friends!  
  
Ranma: Hey, they're my friends too, you know.  
  
Miyu: Well, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HELP??  
  
Ranma: ....  
  
Miyu: You ran away!!!  
  
Ranma: But-  
  
Miyu: I'm sorry. If only I just put one firecracker.  
  
*Thomas' hand moved*  
  
Miyu: Chii? ARRGHH!! I MEAN... huh?  
  
*Thomas' hand wrapped around Miyu's throat*  
  
Miyu: ACKKK!!! GET IT OFF!!!  
  
Thomas: RELP ME!!!  
  
Tofu: Goodness!! He's alive!!  
  
Thomas: *spits a long object out* AAHH!! I FINALLY GOT IT OUT!!!  
  
Tofu: A chicken bone? *sniffs* It's from KFC!!!  
  
Thomas: That bone almost impaled my esophagus!!!  
  
Tofu: Wait! Let me read that book!!!  
  
Tofu: Let me see... If the ritual is successful, a chicken bone will get stuck in their throat causing them to faint. Do not panic. Just take the bone out and they will be just fine.  
  
Thomas: Wow. That was dumb.  
  
Tofu: What a joke.  
  
Ranma: Yeah.  
  
Tofu: I mean, that is just plain stupid!!!  
  
Miyu: Hee hee! You said it!!  
  
Thomas: What do you mean stupid??? It could've been worse!!!  
  
Ranma: Yeah right. I mean, a chicken bone?? How did a CHICKEN BONE get there so fast? HA HA HA!!!  
  
Thomas: Very funny, Ranma. Very funny.  
  
Ranma: I mean, really.  
  
Thomas: I agree.  
  
Miyu: Chii! I mean, yeah!  
  
Thomas: So, what do we do?  
  
*silence*  
  
Tofu: GET THE BONES OUT!!  
  
(LATER...)  
  
Me: Ow. My throat!  
  
Miyu: CHII-IIII!!!  
  
Bobby: Huh?  
  
Miyu: Oops. Hee hee!  
  
Tofu: I'm glad you are safe, guys.  
  
Miyu: Ch- AAAAARRGHH!!! I'll just keep quiet. Hee hee!!  
  
Tofu: Well, lets look at the book again.  
  
EA: Yeah. Maybe we get more powers! Heh.  
  
Besa: Wait for me.  
  
*the gang and tofu read the book*  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Bobby: Did you just see what I just saw?  
  
Besa: Yep no doubt about it.  
  
EA: Hey, Trevor! Better keep away from us for a few days, okay?  
  
Me: WHAT???  
  
Miyu: Chii?? ARRRGGGHHH!! I WATCH TOO MUCH CHOBITS!!  
  
Thomas: Yeah?  
  
Miyu: Oh, I mean... what did it say?  
  
Tofu: It says, watch out. You have made a big mistake letting them exist this long. If angry, a dark being will come out of the leader or the one who has the "defense" technique. He will overpower and kill anyone he sees, including the charmed ones. Good luck and, nyah nyah nyah!!!  
  
Miyu: AAHHHH!!! GET AWAY FROM ME, TREVOR!!!!  
  
Me: WAIT!! You misunderstand.  
  
Miyu: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! *slaps me*  
  
*Miyu runs away*  
  
Me: MIYU!!! .....damn.  
  
Thomas: Don't worry pal. MAKE SURE HE GETS YOU FIRST!!!  
  
EA: Yeah!!  
  
Bobby: Keep away man!!!  
  
The real Me: WAIT!!!! I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING TO EVERYONE OF YOU!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Oh great. What? You interrupted yourself?  
  
The real Me: Cue sad music again!!!  
  
The real EA: Ok guys. Don't interrupt him. He got another review.  
  
*sad music*  
  
The real Me: Ummm... hello "laugher" or whoever you are. Of course, I give acknowledgements to reviewers (except for Bobby and my other friends). All I want to say is... thank you for even READING this story. I mean... really???? IS MY STORY GREAT? Wow. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!! It's reviewers like you that give life to us writers. And is this story as funny as that movie you watched (Bruce Almighty or Ace Ventura I think)? Wow! I'm still at cloud 9 right now. And I promise!! I will update at least once a week! I will not do schoolwork for the week until the chapter is finished!! *sniff* ASTIG KA TALAGA, KUNG SINO KA MAN!!! (YOU'RE REALLY COOL! WHOEVER YOU ARE!). Now... Hey!! What are you guys looking at???? AND WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP LAUGHING???!!! BACK TO THE STORY!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Oooohhh. The big man has a sensitive side.  
  
The real Me: Oh, just shut up, bitch. You would have reacted like that if this was YOUR first story.  
  
The real Thomas: Oh well. I don't write fics anyway.  
  
(BACK TO THE STORY)  
  
Besa: WHOA!!! They called you dangerous but this is just camel shit!!  
  
Me: C'mon! Don't just ditch me now. I thought you were my friends. You're making me.... arrgghhhh.... ANGRY!!!!!  
  
Thomas: OH SHIT!!!  
  
Me: NYARRRGHHhHhhHhhHh!!!!! *splits into two Me's*  
  
Besa: You asses!!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!!!!!  
  
EA: Trevor? Are you okay? Ummm... are you the white one or the black one?  
  
Me: Oooohh. Where am I?  
  
???: Pretty soon... in hell.  
  
Me: HOLY SHIT!!! WHO ARE YOU????  
  
Thomas: Hey, who's that black guy?  
  
???: I AM NOT BLACK!!! I AM DARK!!!  
  
Me: You must be my evil twin. You look exactly like me.  
  
???: He he he... *gets paper*  
  
Me: Who are you??  
  
???: This is your name right? *Writes my name*  
  
Me: Yes???  
  
???: Then this is mine. *flips it upside-down*  
  
Me: mmm... hmm...  
  
Thomas: HOLY SHIT!!! I THINK SAW THIS IN A MOVIE!!! WHOAH THAT WAS SO WEIRD!!! CLEVER!!!  
  
Rovert: Shut up, you bitch. *makes energy orb and shoots it at Thomas*  
  
*BOOOMM*  
  
Thomas: Nyarkkkk!!! .........you...bastard.  
  
EA: Thomas!!! Get a hold of yourself!!!! SENSEI!!!  
  
Tofu: Wait! Thomas! Don't move! It will just widen the wound!  
  
Thomas: Oooff...  
  
Me: Why the hell did you do that???  
  
Rovert: Kasi ganoon talaga ako. (Because that's how I am.)  
  
Me: Ang sama mo. (You are so evil.)  
  
Rovert: Oka agatala istor mating bok (???????)  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
Rovert: Sorry. I can't speak that well.  
  
Me: He heh. Spell the word "Bote".  
  
Rovert: B..O...  
  
Me: Use our native alphabet.  
  
Rovert: Ba...ho...ta...e  
  
Me, Thomas, EA, Besa, and Bobby: AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Rovert: What?  
  
Me: Hey, Rovert! Say "I have bote". And spell "bote".  
  
Rovert: I have bahotae.  
  
Me, Thomas, EA, Besa, and Bobby: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Rovert: What did I say?  
  
Me: Allow me to translate that. You said "I have stinky shit".  
  
The whole gang: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Rovert: You tricked me.  
  
Me: Gee, Rovert. Don't be so gloomy. It was a joke.  
  
Thomas: Besides... EVERYONE'S SHIT IS STINKY!!!  
  
The whole gang: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
EA: Nice one Thomas!!!  
  
Bobby: Hey! Is there something wrong with Rovert?  
  
Rovert: Summoning from the hellish abyss...  
  
Besa: Hello? Helloooo??? Mr. Evil Guy???  
  
Rovert: Awaken the darkest power... *evil aura*  
  
Rovert: Kill them all...  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Thomas, EA, Besa, Bobby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Thomas: We're 30,000 feet in the air!!! AAAAAAA!!!  
  
EA: Hey! How come Trevor, Ranma, and Tofu are not here?  
  
(AT THE RUINS OF TOFU'S CLINIC)  
  
Ranma: AAG.... That was too... powerful. Even for my passive technique.  
  
Tofu: Oofff.... My... back....  
  
Me: Huh? Did someone take our picture? What happened to the roof? And... DAMN!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?????  
  
Ranma: Demme.... He attacked us.  
  
Tofu: You did not felt it because of your... Charm.  
  
(BACK IN THE ATMOSPHERE)  
  
Bobby: AND I DON'T KNOW MY POWER YET!!!  
  
Thomas: Well, try it!!!!  
  
Bobby: OK! Nghhhhhhh..... *disappears*  
  
EA: WHOAH!! COOOOOLLL! BIOLOGICAL STEALTH CAMO!!  
  
Bobby: Hey! I'm invisible!!! Coooool!!! *punches Thomas*  
  
Thomas: ARRGHH!!! WHY YOU!!! *punches Thomas downwards*  
  
*WHACK!!!*  
  
EA: Ummm, asshole. YOU JUST SENT BOBBY TO HIS DEATH!!!  
  
Besa: You fiend!!!  
  
Thomas: Ahh... who cares... we're falling anyway.  
  
*silence*  
  
Thomas, EA, and Besa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
(At the Tendo household)  
  
Soun: Saotome-kun? What's wrong?  
  
Genma: I sense something vivid.  
  
Akane: Saotome-ojiisama?  
  
Genma: Something's about to fall.  
  
Akane: Ahh. He's just having an off-day. Besides, where's Ranma?  
  
Nabiki: Come to think of it Akane, Trevor and the others haven't come back from the clinic yet.  
  
*!!!!CRASH!!!!*  
  
Kasumi: Oh my...  
  
Soun: SAOTOME-KUN?? WHY DID THE TABLE COLLAPSE???  
  
Akane: AND WHY IS THERE SUDDENLY A HOLE IN THE ROOF?????  
  
Bobby: WHADDYA MEAN, COLLAPSE? I'M RIGHT HERE!!!  
  
Akane: AAAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Bobby: *turns visible again* You are all sons of bi- WHOAH!!! YOU'RE THE TENDOS!!!  
  
Akane: How did you know???  
  
Bobby: You are very famous anime characters in my world!!!  
  
Soun: Oh... you must be one of Trevor's friends!  
  
Nabiki: Strange... I don't remember you.  
  
Bobby: Oh. I just came in today.  
  
Genma: Uhh.. hey boy!!! You're bleeding.  
  
Bobby: What?? Oh shit. ShitshitshitshitshitshitSHIIIITT!!!  
  
Akane: I'll get the bandages!  
  
*Akane runs to the bathroom but suddenly...*  
  
*!!!CRASH!!!*  
  
*!!!CRASH!!!*  
  
Akane: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Huh? EA! Thomas!!  
  
EA: Ooooff.... yo.  
  
The real Besa: YO!! Yo, immatatered meh!!  
  
The real Bobby: Ahh... who cares about you, ass??  
  
The real Besa: YO! Da whole Urth loves meh!! Right?  
  
World: WE HATE YOU, BITCH!!!  
  
The real Besa: See wat I meen, yo?  
  
The real Bobby: Riiiiight....  
  
The real Me: HEY!! PAY ATTENTION!!!!  
  
The real Bobby: Die *pulls trigger of M9*  
  
*click* *click*  
  
The real Me: Looking for this, bitch? *holds out M9 magazine*  
  
The real Bobby: Damn you.  
  
(BACK TO THE STORY)  
  
Thomas: Agghh!! I think I twisted my ankle and... BOBBY! Where the hell is Bobby??  
  
Akane: He's at the dining room. He's bleeding badly.  
  
EA: Hey what about Besa???  
  
*!!!CRASH!!!*  
  
Besa: Ooof!! Thanks for breaking my fall, EA.  
  
EA: Aggg!!! Hey! I never knew the last time you wet the bed was...  
  
Besa: YOU DICK!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW???  
  
EA: My Charm, remember?  
  
Besa: Speaking of dick, I am gonna kick yours. If I didn't have this sprained ankle. Ooof.  
  
Akane: Oh great.  
  
Besa: Man! Why did this happen to us?  
  
EA: HEY! We're lucky anime physics apply to us! If it didn't, we would've been dead the moment the clinic exploded!  
  
Besa: Good point.  
  
EA: Right, Thomas?  
  
Thomas: .....  
  
EA: Oh great. He's unconscious.  
  
(AT THE CLINIC)  
  
Me: Guys!! Go to the Dojo! It's too dangerous here!  
  
Ranma: No! I'll stay here!  
  
Me: NO! You could die here! He's way too powerful!!  
  
Ranma: But...  
  
Tofu: He's right. Lets go.  
  
Rovert: HEY! YOU IGNORED ME HERE! *charges energy*  
  
Me: YAME!!!  
  
Ranma: NO! DON'T!!!  
  
Me: RUN AWAY!  
  
*Tofu and Ranma ran away*  
  
Rovert: NO YOU DON'T!!  
  
*I pounced on Rovert just before he shot the blast*  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!*  
  
Rovert: *cough* *cough* WHY DID YOU DO THAT?? AND.... Why aren't you dead?  
  
Me: There are just some things we just don't know... do we?  
  
Rovert: Tama ka diyan. (You're right.)  
  
Me: Humanda ka, demonyo. (Get ready, demon.)  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
Rovert: EAT THIS!!! *blast*  
  
*BOOOOOOOM!!!*  
  
Me: Give it up. Get back in my body!  
  
Rovert: No fair! You have a Charm!!!  
  
Me: That's right. Now, GIVE UP ALREADY, BITCH!!!  
  
Miyu: Ummm... Guys?  
  
Me: Miyu! NOOOOO!!  
  
Miyu: I'm sorry about awhile ago and...  
  
Rovert: Chance!!! *grabs Miyu*  
  
Miyu:AAAHHH!!! What are you doing??  
  
Rovert: Move... and she dies.  
  
Me: You bastard.  
  
Rovert: TAKE THIS *blast*  
  
Me: Just give up. You can't kill me like that.  
  
Rovert: Right. I think I found your weakness.  
  
Me: OH SHIT!!!  
  
Rovert: I know about your power.  
  
Me: Shitshitshitshitshitshit!!!  
  
Rovert: You are weak to direct attacks!! *throws knife*  
  
Me: OH SHIT!! *evades*  
  
Rovert: Ha ha ha.  
  
Me: You dick!!!  
  
Thomas: Hey, you can't win this alone. Can you?  
  
Me: Thomas!!! You're back!!!  
  
EA: Right here, pal.  
  
Me: EA!!  
  
Besa: I'm back.  
  
Me: BESA!!!  
  
Bobby: Wazup?  
  
Me: BOBBY!! Guys! You really came!!!  
  
EA: Yeah!!! We're a team...  
  
Rovert: Wow. I think I'm gonna cry. DIE, BITCHES!!! *several blasts*  
  
EA: Don't move!! It's a bluff!!  
  
Rovert: How did you know?  
  
*KABOOOOOMMM*  
  
Thomas: What the fuck is this? CHEESE POWDER!!!  
  
EA: No.... *reads Rovert's mind* it's actually... uhh... right. It is cheese powder.  
  
Besa: See, black guy? 5 charms to one is win win win for us!! *spark*  
  
Thomas: Go Besa!!!  
  
Besa: Right. HHYAAAAAAAAAA!! *electric blast*  
  
EA: WAIT!! NOT THAT STRONG!!! *gets shocked* Nyayayayayaya!!!!  
  
Thomas: Uhh... EA?  
  
EA: *unconscious*  
  
Besa: YAAAAAAAHHHH!!! *electric blast*  
  
Rovert: ARRGGHHH!!!! *lets go of Miyu*  
  
Miyu: Thanks!!! *slaps Rovert* YOU PERVERT!!!  
  
Me: Quick, Miyu! Come here!  
  
Besa: Now. Time to die. *charges electricity*  
  
Rovert: Oh shit!!! *power shield*  
  
Besa: No fair!!!! *several blasts*  
  
*bzzt* *bzzt* *bzzt* *bzzt*  
  
Rovert: *shield breaks* NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
EA: Ok! *reads Rovert's mind* THOMAS!!! NOW!!!!  
  
Thomas: KANGAROO FIST!!!! *lunges a punch*  
  
Rovert: *gets blown back* NYARRKKKKGHHHH!!!!  
  
Thomas: YES!!!  
  
EA: *reads Rovert's mind* Bobby! Pin him down!!  
  
Bobby: Roger! *disappears*  
  
Rovert: Now... what are you up to?  
  
EA: Heheheheh.  
  
Rovert: OOOFF!!! YOU ARE WEARING METAL SOLES DAMMIT!!!  
  
Bobby: Heh heh.  
  
Rovert: RGHHH... Now the biggest blast of them all *charges*  
  
Me: Get outta there, Bobby!!!!  
  
EA: *reads Rovert's mind* TREVOR!!! DO IT!!!  
  
Me: RIGHT!! *jumps onto Rovert*  
  
Rovert: GRAAAAAA!!! *big damn blast*  
  
*blast bounces off of me and hits him*  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Me: It is finished....  
  
*Rovert is in ashes*  
  
EA: Yes!!! We defeated him... or IT!!  
  
Me: Yep. Ooff.. Man. I see spots. That was way too bright.  
  
*SHOWDOWN ENDS*  
  
Bobby: Well, lets go home.  
  
Besa: RIGHT!! I AM HUNGRYYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
Me: Well. I hope there aren't any more Discharms.  
  
The real Me: WHOOOOOOOOOOO!! Chapter end!!  
  
The real Besa: Dat was a grayyyt endin'!!!  
  
The real EA: Nice one!!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah. But will Rovert come back?  
  
The real Me: Count on it.  
  
The real Bobby: Hey! Eat lead assholes!! *fires M4 everywhere*  
  
*!!!! ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta !!!!*  
  
The real Me: Bobby's blew his stack again!! Thomas!! Show the sneak peek!!  
  
The real Thomas: ROGER!!!  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Thomas: What are you talking about?  
  
Me: You just made the biggest mistake of your life.  
  
Thomas: Huh?  
  
Ranma: Good luck, and good bye!!!  
  
EA: Yeah. You are DOOMED, man.  
  
Me: Yeah. You were such a dumbass. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YES???  
  
Ranma: Well, see you at the funeral guys.  
  
Akane: Guys?  
  
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SHE'S HERE!!!  
  
EA: Quick, Thomas!! SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!  
  
Me: AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Akane: Thomas-kun!!!!  
  
Thomas: SHITTTTT!!!  
  
Akane: *vein pops out of head* You guys better be not talking about THIS!!! *removes cloth*  
  
Thomas: SHIIITTT!!!! NOOOoOooooooOOOOOOoOoO!! Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!!!  
  
EA and Me: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
EA: End the chapter now!!!!  
  
Bobby: GRRRRAAAA *continues firing*  
  
*!!!! ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta !!!!*  
  
*camera gets hit*  
  
*static*  
  
FFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!  
  
*We are experiencing technical difficulties at the moment. Please stay tuned for the next chapter!*  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	9. Das Deutsche general, Ybbob

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad? sobs  
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 9 (Interlude): Das Deutsche general, Ybbob.  
  
Author's note: This is the introduction of another evil twin. But be warned, this chapter makes ABSOLUTELY no sense!!! If you don't like randomness, out of the topic, or things that have nothing to do with the plot/s, do not read. ^_^' This is actually an interlude to the actual plot and does not contain the sneek peek I featured on the previous chapter. The sneek peek however, will be in the next chapter. -dacop  
  
The real Besa: Yo, yo yo!!! Waaazzup yo!!!  
  
The real Me: That's it! I am taking this story off the air!!  
  
The real Besa; YOOO!!!!  
  
*OFF THE AIR* ........................ ........................ ........................ ........................ ........................ ........................ ........................ ........................ ........................ *ON THE AIR*  
  
The real Me: And that as they say, is that.  
  
The real Besa: YOO! Dat wuz inspiring yo!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Nice one, Trev!  
  
The real Me: Heh heh. Ain't I great?  
  
The real EA: Back to the story anyway.  
  
Besa: Let's go home!!!  
  
Me: Yeah!!!  
  
Thomas: One bitch down. A fucking lot to go.  
  
(AT THE TENDO HOUSEHOLD)  
  
Soun: Saotome-kun!!!  
  
Genma: Tendo-kun!!!  
  
Soun and Genma: WE CANT SUPPORT THESE GUYS!!!  
  
Me: OH WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!!!  
  
EA: Bye-bye excitement!!!  
  
Besa: The moment the fighting stops...  
  
Akane: OTTO-SAN!!!  
  
Besa: This happens.  
  
Me: Hold the shit up, Bitches!!!!!!!!  
  
Akane: ???  
  
Me: Let us just sit down and... relaaaaaaxxx.  
  
Thomas: Oh just shut the fuck up!!! *punch*  
  
Me: Huh? Did you poke me?  
  
Thomas: Damnyoudamnyoudamnyoudamnyoudamnyou.  
  
Me: *finger snap*  
  
Besa: Right. *zap*  
  
Thomas: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *faints*  
  
Me: That's what happens if you DARE you cross me.  
  
EA: Gulp!!!  
  
Bobby: Sounding tough huh?  
  
Me: Oh yeah? *finger snap*  
  
Besa: *zap*  
  
Bobby: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! *faints*  
  
Akane: Hey! That's mean.  
  
Me: Hmph. EA!! Take care of her!!!  
  
EA: Ohhhhh???? You like... no... LOVE Ranma!!!!  
  
Akane: HAAAA???? That's not TRUE!!!!!!  
  
EA: But it is. It is so obvious! I mean... look at your face!!!  
  
Akane: What?  
  
EA: It's RED!!!  
  
Soun: It's not red!!  
  
EA: Never mind.  
  
Me: EA, harass her.  
  
EA: Roger. HEY!! You SLEPT with him???  
  
Akane: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT????  
  
EA: Heh heh. And you were on TOP!! Wow.... Ranma's a real wimp.  
  
Akane: HHIIIYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *swings mallet*  
  
EA: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *gets launched into space*  
  
Akane: You too!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! *swings mallet*  
  
*!!!!WHAPACK!!!!*  
  
Me: That didn't hurt.  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
Akane: DIE!! DIE!! DIE!!  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
Me: Had enough?  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
WHACK  
  
Akane: *pant* *pant*  
  
Me: My turn. *slap*  
  
*!!!!WHAPACK!!!!*  
  
Akane: AAAHHH!!! *collapse*  
  
Me: Yeah!! That's what you get for crossing me!!!  
  
Soun: AKANEEEE!!!! *punch*  
  
Me: Don't interfere, asshole!!! *punch*  
  
Soun: AAARRRGHHH!!!!  
  
Genma: *turns into panda* Opopopopoooo!!!  
  
Me: I make the rules around here.  
  
Besa: That's enough!!!  
  
Me: You too??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *attack*  
  
Besa: Trevor!! Noooo!!! *zap*  
  
Me: NYARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!! *faints*  
  
*dark figure comes out of Me*  
  
Rovert: ARGH!! Got me again!!  
  
Besa: YOU AGAIN!!! *zap*  
  
Rovert: Hehehh. *disappear*  
  
Besa: I WILL CHASE YOU, BITCH!! TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!!! YOU HEAR THAT???? TO THE ENDS OF THE EAAAAAARRTHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Me: *wakes up* Whoa. What the hell happened?  
  
Besa: Rovert.  
  
Me: Oh. Thanks for snapping me to my senses.  
  
The real Besa: Dat wuz da k0013$+, yo!  
  
The real EA: THAT WAS WORTHLESS SHIT!!  
  
The real Me: Obviously, you don't know the meaning of "shit".  
  
The real EA: Of course I do, Bitch!!!  
  
The real Me: You need not add "worthless" because it just makes it weird.  
  
The real EA: Who are you to criticize me?  
  
The real Me: My name is Trevor.  
  
The real EA: Oh.  
  
The real Thomas: Back to the damn story!!  
  
EA: *limping* Geez, Trevor. This "leader" stuff has gotten up your asscrack. Take it easy on the weed, man.  
  
Me: You're delusional, EA. That was Rovert and..... I FUCKING DON'T TAKE FUCKING WEED SO FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP, FUCKER!!  
  
EA: Jeez, is Rovert still inside you?  
  
Me: Very funny, EA.  
  
Akane: *conscious* Ooooh. YOU!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT??  
  
Me: Whoops, sorry. I let my evil twin wreak havoc again.  
  
Akane: I see. *swings mallet*  
  
Me: Huh? Did something touch me?  
  
Akane: AAAAARGHH!! I was gonna settle the score.  
  
Me: You know... you need anger management classes.  
  
Akane: Hmph!!!  
  
Ranma: POP!!!!  
  
Akane: Ranma! You're home!  
  
EA: Ahaaaaaaaaa???  
  
Akane: Stop that would you?  
  
EA: Ooooooooooooo?  
  
Me: *whack*  
  
EA: OW!! Why did you do that?  
  
Me: Like you said, we can't ruin the Ranma 1/2 storyline.  
  
EA: Shit...  
  
Ranma: GUESS WHAT I GOT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Genma: What are those, boy?  
  
Ranma: I was in my girl form and this nice black guy invited me to this private beach! AND HE TOLD ME TO BRING ALL THE PEOPLE I WANT!!  
  
Genma: That's great, boy!!  
  
Me: Wow. It has been years since anyone of us has been to the beach.  
  
Ranma: Well. We leave tomorrow.  
  
Akane: Wow! Going to the beach again!  
  
Me: Going to the beach. At last.  
  
Besa: We're lucky.  
  
EA: After... like 4 years!!!  
  
Me: Yep.............  
  
*silence*  
  
EA, Besa and Me: YAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Besa: Wait!!! Where's Thomas?  
  
Thomas: .....You forgot me.  
  
EA: AAHH!! Heh heh heh. Sorry. We got caught up with all the excitement.  
  
Thomas: PUNCH VULCAN!!! *500 punches to the other 3 shitbags*  
  
EA, Besa, and Me: NOOOOOOOO!! *gets blown as high as it can get*  
  
*!!!PACK!!!*  
  
Thomas: He heh. WHOA!!!! Someone just kicked my ass, literally!!  
  
Bobby: *turns visible again* Hahaha. I am the ultimate chameleon.  
  
Thomas: *punch*  
  
Bobby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *gets blown to the sky*  
  
Thomas: Ehhhh. It's a burden being a man of strength.  
  
The real EA: Oh shit!! A fuse blew again!!  
  
The real Me: STOP THE TAPE!!!  
  
The real Thomas: OWW!! I tripped on something!!  
  
The real Bobby: Thoooomaaaaasss.....  
  
The real Me: Uhh, asshole. YOU TRIPPPED ON THE WIRES!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Whoops.  
  
The real Besa: Yo ah dumm, yo!  
  
The real Thomas: Sorry na! Tao lang!! (I'm sorry already! I'm only human!!)  
  
*RRRRINGG*  
  
The real Bobby: My phone! *picks it up* Hello?  
  
???: Is this the number of the "Click Clique"?  
  
The real Bobby: Yes? And HOW DID YOU KNOW? Our fraternity is closed to women and is very secure and private!!!  
  
The real EA: A GIRL?????  
  
The real Me: Shhh. Quiet, you! Bobby's got something here!  
  
???: Ha ha! Can I speak to a Mr. Trevor?  
  
The real Bobby: *nervous look*  
  
The real Me: Huh?  
  
The real Bobby: For you. *hands phone*  
  
The real Me: .......................Hello?  
  
???: Trevor!!  
  
The real Me: Who is this?  
  
???: Silly!! It's me!!!  
  
The real Me: Sorry, miss. None of us know you.  
  
???: *Sigh* It's me. Miyu Hinasaki.  
  
The real Me: WHOAH!!! HOW CAN.....  
  
The real EA: Trevor? Who is it?  
  
Miyu: You sound surprised.  
  
The real Me: Umm. Hi!! How can you, a fictional character I made is actually calling me!!!  
  
Miyu: As if you were not fictional.  
  
The real Me: HUH??  
  
(Somewhere in the real world...)  
  
Dacop: Ha ha!! That freak doesn't know he is actually a fictional character too! *continues to type fic*  
  
Dacop: EA is gonna be so surprised when he finds about this!!!  
  
*RING RING*  
  
Dacop: *picks phone up* Hello? Hey, Bobby!! I need more ideas for the fic! So, we go to the beach and the hosts encounter a surprise guest on the phone!  
  
(Back to the hosts...)  
  
Miyu: Well, it was nice talking to you. Bye! Hee hee!  
  
The real Me: Bye!!  
  
The real Thomas: NOOOOO!!! Let me talk to her at least.  
  
The real Me: She was probably a Miyu fan anyway.  
  
The real EA: Awwwww.  
  
The real Me: *thinking* Heh heh. She IS actually real! Only I can talk to her! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!  
  
(Back to the real world)  
  
Dacop: Sometimes, I pity myself.  
  
Bobby: What??  
  
Dacop: In the fic.  
  
Bobby: Oh.  
  
(Back to the hosts...)  
  
The real Me: Hey EA! Fix that fuse will you?  
  
The real EA: Fixed it!!!  
  
The real Me: And Thomas, be careful.  
  
The real Thomas: *thinking* The real real real me out there better be beating the hell out of dacop by now.  
  
The real EA: Back to the story!!!!  
  
(That night...)  
  
Me: Hey! Psst! EA! Wake up!!  
  
EA: WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT????  
  
Me: SHHHHHHH!!!! Everyone's asleep!!  
  
EA: Oh.  
  
Me: Follow me. I need to show you something!  
  
EA: What? In the middle of the night?  
  
Me: Notice anyone missing?  
  
EA: Lemme see. There's... umm... BOBBY!!!  
  
Me: SHHHHHHH!!!  
  
EA: Where did he go?  
  
Me: Look at this. I borrowed the book about us from Tofu.  
  
EA: Ok.  
  
Me: LOOK! One of the discharms!  
  
EA: It says..... "The Achtung Discharm". This Discharm is given to the one who becomes invisible. Every night, he will go out like a somnabulist and steal a tank. He will call a panzer division from Germany and rampage around town.  
  
Me: The things we have to put up to.  
  
EA: O_O  
  
Me: Well, let's not try to wake everyone else up. Let's find Bobby before he calls the panzer division.  
  
(LATER)  
  
Me: Well, I guess we're condemned to this cursed life.  
  
EA: Yeah. This really sucks.  
  
Me: Hey! What's that?  
  
???: ACHTUNG!!! Dere are people on die ground!  
  
Me: SHIT!!!  
  
EA: WE'RE TOO LATE!!!  
  
Captain: Ve vere called vy Zheneral Bobby vor a fery important azzingment.  
  
Me: Well, ignore him. He's gone off his rocking chair again.  
  
Captain: Ve do not underztand vhat you are zaying, voreign man. Ve are taking it az an inzult!! Ve vill deztroy you!!! Zoldiars! Vire at zhe intrudar!!!  
  
Me: Just try.  
  
Captain: FOYYAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOM*  
  
Me: See?  
  
EA: *unconscious*  
  
Captain: OHH NOOO!!! One haz vallen, vut zhe ozher vone ish shtill alive!!!  
  
Captain: Ohhh vell. FOYAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOM*  
  
Me: No use, man.  
  
Captain: *KKKHHKKK* Zheneral Bobby!!! Ve have encountered intrudas blohcking our vay!!! Vhat shall ve do?  
  
Bobby: *under a discharm* ACHTUNG PANZAH ACHTUNG PANZAH ACHTUNG PANZAH ACHTUNG PANZAH!!!  
  
Captain: Yez sair! *KKHHKK* Vhat an idiot! Anyvay, ve have no time to play vith shou. Zo long and happy varningz!!  
  
Me: NOOO! I won't let you reach him!!!  
  
Captain: Vhy do you oppoze uz?  
  
Me: We won't let you destroy the town!!!  
  
EA: Uhh.. A little help. *cough* *cough*  
  
Captain: Vhat are shou talking avout? Zhis ish spezial azzignment!  
  
Me: Yeah right. Bobby is CRAZY. Believe me.  
  
Captain:......... KILL ZHE ZHENERAL!!!  
  
Soldiers:......... KILL!!!! ACHTUNG ACHTUNG!!!  
  
Me: Sheesh. They can't even speak proper German.  
  
EA: Uhh. What happened?  
  
Me: Well, they're gone now.  
  
EA: Where are they going?  
  
Me: They're gonna kill Bobby.  
  
*silence*  
  
Me and EA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  
  
Me: SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!  
  
EA: Quick, slowass! Let's get to Bobby now!!!  
  
(MEANWHILE....)  
  
Thomas: Huh? Where did everybody go?  
  
Besa: ..........Hey, asshole. Go back to sleep. ZZZZzzZZzzZzZZz.  
  
Bobby: Hey. I'm back. Where's EA and Trevor?  
  
Thomas: Who gives a crap? Where have you been?  
  
Bobby: I needed to drink. I felt like someone came out of my body or something.  
  
Thomas: ZZZzzzZZZz....ohhh yeah. Give daddy the sandwich. ZZzZZz.  
  
Bobby: Ah never mind. Good night. ZZZzzzZZZzz.  
  
(BACK TO THE PLACE AWHILE AGO....)  
  
EA: Look! It's Bobby over there?  
  
Me: HEY!! BOBBY!!! COME HERE!!!  
  
Bobby (or not): Huh? I am nut Bubby! I am Zheneral Ybbob! Zhose shtupid sholdiars ov moine keep un cunvusing me vith my tvin!  
  
EA and Me: TWIN???????  
  
Ybbob: Zhey should ve here any minut!  
  
Me: Um, General?  
  
Ybbob: Ya??  
  
Me: Sweet dreams *punch*.  
  
*!!!WHAPACK!!!*  
  
EA: Heh heh. He was even stupider than Bobby.  
  
Me: Yeah.  
  
Captain: Ve are here Zheneral!!! VHAT THE VUCK ISH GOING UN???  
  
Me: (inside Ybbob's tank) We... *ahem* Ve have your Zheneral! Shurrender and die!!!  
  
Captain: Iznt it shupposed to ve shurrender... OR die??  
  
Me: Nut vith me!!  
  
EA: Nice one, Trev!!  
  
Me: SHHHHHHH!! *punch*  
  
EA: Owww!!!  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
Captain: Ve vill not leave our Zheneral vehind!!!!!!  
  
Captain: FOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *cannon fire*  
  
*BOOOOOMMMM*  
  
Me: Ha ha!! Zhe tank ish bullet und ekusplosion proof!!! Ha ha ha!!!  
  
Captain: Ve vill not zurrender!! FOYAAA!!! FOYAAA!! *cannon fire*  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!*  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!*  
  
Me: Ohhhh, svastika, ohhhhh, svastika, hmmm hmm... hmm.. hmm..  
  
Captain: Zhou are Nazis!!! Ve vill destroy you at all custs!!! Even iv zhe Zheneral dies!! FOYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Me: Here ish shome more vor you. HERR HITLER!!!!!  
  
Captain: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU ARE INVIDELS!! RETREAT!!!!!  
  
*panzer division retreats*  
  
*SHOWDOWN ENDS*  
  
EA: OHHHHHHHHH YEAH!!! WHOS YO DADDY... VITCH???  
  
Me: Ha ha ha.  
  
Ybbob: *wakes up* HEY YOU!!!  
  
Me: EA!!  
  
EA: I know what you're thinking!!! *laugh*  
  
*EA shoves Ybbob into the barrel*  
  
Me: Three, two, one!!!!  
  
EA: FOYAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!*  
  
Ybbob: *flies into the sky* NOOOOO! I'll get you vor zis, shvuls!!!  
  
Me: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Good luck in rehab!!!  
  
EA: Well, I never got enough sleep after all, huh?  
  
Me: Yep. Let's go home.  
  
The real Besa: YO!! Ah only had like too lines, foo!  
  
The real Me: Read the author's note, you nigger-immatater.  
  
The real Besa: None of sense, yo!! Ah am a nigger, AT HEART!!!  
  
The real Thomas: I bet you just want to be cool.  
  
The real Me: Uhhh, asshole. Sneak peek.  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Thomas: What are you talking about?  
  
Me: You just made the biggest mistake of your life.  
  
Bobby: Are you really THAT stupid?  
  
Thomas: Huh?  
  
Ranma: Good luck, and good bye!!!  
  
EA: Yeah. You are DOOMED, man.  
  
Me: Yeah. You were such a dumbass. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YES???  
  
Ranma: Well, see you at the funeral guys.  
  
Bobby: I wonder what Thomas will look like after he's dead?  
  
Akane: Guys?  
  
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SHE'S HERE!!!  
  
EA: Quick, Thomas!! SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!  
  
Me: AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Akane: Thomas-kun!!!!  
  
Thomas: SHITTTTT!!!  
  
Akane: *vein pops out of head* You guys better be not talking about THIS!!! *removes cloth*  
  
Thomas: SHIIITTT!!!! NOOOoOooooooOOOOOOoOoO!! Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!!!  
  
EA and Me: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
The real Bobby: Hey. You added a line.  
  
The real Me: No I didn't.  
  
The real Bobby: Yes you did.  
  
The real Me: No I didn't  
  
The real Bobby: *pulls out Benelli super 90* YES you did.  
  
*ring ring*  
  
The real Me: Huh what's that?  
  
The real Bobby: Don't change the subject.  
  
*ring ring*  
  
The real Me: Hello?  
  
Miyu: HI!!!!  
  
The real Me: ...................you again.  
  
The real Bobby: *pulls trigger*  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	10. Samoht is here! Beware women!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad? sobs  
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 10: Samoht is here! Beware women!  
  
Acknowledgement: Bobby for co-writing.  
  
Ok. This is another introduction of another evil twin. If you skipped the last chapter, General Ybbob, Bobby's evil twin, entered. He is a vengeful, wrathful, and overly stupid general who has the power to call the panzer division to attack you. EA and I managed to defeat him. Now, guess who's evil twin enters. Ha ha ha ha ha. -Dacop  
  
The real Bobby: *pulls trigger*  
  
*a piece of chewed up bubble gum comes out*  
  
The real Me: YUCK!!! You dick!!  
  
Miyu: WHAT DID YOU SAY????  
  
The real Me: No. Not you.  
  
Miyu: Oh.  
  
The real Bobby: What do you mean, not me? HER???  
  
The real Me: NO!! I mean... NEVER MIND!!!  
  
Miyu: What is going on?? Hello????  
  
The real Me: No. Um, there was a little bit of rusty brown chucking going on here.  
  
The real Bobby: WHAT??? It was, BUBBLE GUM!! Not shit!!  
  
The real Me: Did I say shit?  
  
The real Bobby: Well, they mean the same thing, dumbass!  
  
The real Me: Miyu, can "I" just see you in the fic? Bobby is just about to blow up.  
  
Miyu: OK!! *puts down phone*  
  
The real Bobby: *head vibrating* Just get on with the story... now.  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah. HEY!! I have a joke, I have a joke.  
  
The real Bobby: *points Colt 45 to Thomas' head* I said now.  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah yeah.  
  
The real Besa: PEACE!!!  
  
When we last left us, we went to sleep. The end.  
  
The real Me: HEY! I didn't pay you to fool around!!!  
  
Ok. Ok. You got me. When we last left us, we woke up.  
  
The real Me: Much better.  
  
That is enough gibberish. I'm fucking telling the fucking story here.  
  
Thomas: WAAAAAKKEE UPPP!!! It's a BYOOOTEEFOOOLLL!!! DAY!!!  
  
Me: Uhh, asshole. SHUT YOUR LIPS!!!  
  
Thomas: *singing* TZENA TZENA TZENA TZENA!!!!! HABANOT-  
  
EA: *brushing his teeth* SHUT ZHA FUK UF, AFFHOE!!!  
  
Besa: *zaps me* That oughtta wake him up.  
  
Me: NYINYINYINYINYINYINYINYINYI!!!!!!  
  
*zapping stops*  
  
Me: ............ Hey Thomas, Besa ate your sandwich.  
  
Thomas: WHY YOU LITTLE ASSWIPE!!! *punch*  
  
Besa: *gets launched into the air* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
EA: Uh, asshole. WHAT SANDWICH????  
  
Thomas: Ummm. I don't know. Do you?  
  
EA: *reads mind of Thomas* Can't find anything.  
  
Me: Hey Bobby, wake up.  
  
Bobby: ZZZzzZZzzz.  
  
Me: WAKE UP BITCH!!!  
  
Bobby: *disappears*  
  
Me: Shit.  
  
*bobby kicks my ass, literally*  
  
Me: OW!! You dick!!  
  
Bobby: Speaking of dick, can I kick yours?  
  
Me: Hey Thomas, Bobby ate your sandwich.  
  
Thomas: YOU BASS TERD!!!  
  
Bobby: What sandwich?  
  
Thomas: Beats me. Die, dick!! *punch*  
  
Me: AAHHhhhhh!!! NOT ME, ASSHOLE!!!  
  
Thomas: *sticks head out of window* SORRY! I AM BEING DEPRIVED OF THE TRUTH!!  
  
Bobby: Asshole. *kick*  
  
*Thomas falls out of window and hits a rock*  
  
Thomas: SHI- OW!!!  
  
*Akane knocks on the door*  
  
Akane: HEY!!! WE'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE!!! LIKE NOW!!!  
  
EA: Forget that piece of shit!  
  
(LATER)  
  
*the gang is in a tour bus*  
  
Bobby: Say, Ranma! Thanks for taking us!  
  
Ranma: Yeah. I wonder why that black guy laughed maniacally when I turned my back. And he kept on saying "Now I'll kick his ass. Ha ha ha."  
  
Thomas: Hey! Thanks for not forgetting me!  
  
Bobby: Yeah. We had to carry you ourselves. Oh, and if you're wondering... this ain't you're bed okay? So don't wet it.  
  
EA: Say, did we forget something, or someone?  
  
*two objects fall from the sky and into the bus*  
  
*!!!CRASH!!!*  
  
Me: Hey, where am I? All I know is that ass punched me over there and I am here.  
  
Besa: Thomas, I have your sandwich here.  
  
Thomas: Where?  
  
Besa: *zaps Thomas*  
  
Thomas: NYINYINYINYINYINYINYI!!! *faints*  
  
Besa: Revenge is-  
  
Akane: QUIET, YOU!!!  
  
Besa: -served.  
  
The real Besa: YO!! I wood nut shay dat, foo!!  
  
The real Me: Well, we... no I don't want you to be a nigger... at heart in the fic.  
  
The real Besa: Go. Go. Go. Go screwy. It's yo burth day.  
  
The real EA: HEY!! We're wasting words here! Back to the story!  
  
(BACK TO THE STORY)  
  
Bobby: So what happened to the sinful fish?  
  
Me: It was rotten to the spinal cord.  
  
Thomas: I don't get it.  
  
*silence*  
  
Thomas: AAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  
  
(IN ANOTHER PART OF THE BUS)  
  
Akane: Hey, Ranma. Did you bring your lunch?  
  
Ranma: Ummm, oh no. Yes?  
  
Akane: Liar. Besides, I made more lunches just in CASE.  
  
Ranma: *writes his will and testament*  
  
Akane: HMPH!!! If that's the way you're gonna act, I'll just give it to those bozos at the back of the bus.  
  
Ranma: He he. Good luck. He he.  
  
Soun: Hey driver!! Stop!!!  
  
Ranma: Huh??  
  
Soun: Who's that???  
  
Miyu: *running* HEY!!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE ME, YOU MEANIES!!!!  
  
Me: Whoops. *hides*  
  
Thomas: Hurry up, you!!! There's traffic behind us!!!  
  
Miyu: *gets in bus* Pant pant!!  
  
EA: Wassup?  
  
*Miyu punches every inserted character*  
  
Me: Oww. Don't you have a boyfriend?  
  
Miyu: He's just a jerk.  
  
Besa: Hey, want a taste of old sparky here?  
  
Miyu: Threats, threats.  
  
Bobby: Want me to harass you? And you CAN'T see me?  
  
Miyu: Alright, alright. *sits down*  
  
Akane: HEY YOU!!! Who wants to eat what's inside of this tray I got?  
  
EA, Me, and Bobby: *knowing that Akane's cooking is hazardous to your health* No thanks. We're err... full.  
  
Thomas: I will!  
  
Besa: No I will!  
  
Thomas: But I'm hungry!!  
  
Besa: I'm hungry too!  
  
Thomas: You took my sandwich!  
  
Besa: What sandwich?  
  
Thomas: This sandwich. *raises fist*  
  
Besa: Fine. *grumbles*  
  
EA: Hey Thomas, say no.  
  
Thomas: YES!!! I WANT IT!! But not now, I am gonna swim after all.  
  
Akane: YEEEESS!!! Finally someone who appreciates me.  
  
Ranma: You better say goodbye to him while you still can.  
  
Akane: Jerk.  
  
Genma: Now, now. You're engaged remember?  
  
Ranma: Heck, you're just worried about what mom would think.  
  
Genma: Exactly, my boy.  
  
Ranma: *splashes water onto his poor ol' dad*  
  
Kasumi: Ara? The seat is wet.  
  
Nabiki: AAA!! Onna-san!! I thought you got over that years ago??  
  
Kasumi: Now, now. That's not nice.  
  
(AT THE BEACH, BEFORE THE GANG ARRIVED)  
  
Ryoga: It's hopeless. I'll never find Akane or THAT guy at this rate.  
  
Girl: MISTER!!! WATCH OUT!!!  
  
*volleyball hits him on the head*  
  
*!POW!*  
  
Ryoga: OW!!! *faints*  
  
(A FEW MINUTES LATER)  
  
???: Hey. Hey. HEY!!! What are you doing down there? It's hot today!!  
  
Ryoga: Ooooff.  
  
???: Idiot. *kick*  
  
Ryoga: OW!!! *stands up* Why you...  
  
???: Heeeeyy. Take it easy there, stuffed crust.  
  
Ryoga: Well, do you know someone named.... Trevor?  
  
???: *curious look* Can you umm... describe him?  
  
Ryoga: Looked 17. Kinda like you, except had lighter skin.  
  
???: Well, now. Follow me. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Ryoga: Weirdo.  
  
(AT THE BUS AGAIN)  
  
Soun: Minna!!! Get ready!! We're almost there.  
  
Besa: *sticks head out window* WHOOO!!!! KING OF THE ROAD!!!  
  
Thomas: Stop, fooling around, Besa.  
  
EA: Oh, the dead guy talks.  
  
Thomas: What are you talking about?  
  
EA: Ito na ang huling tanghalian mo. (This is gonna be your last lunch.)  
  
Thomas: Eh, basahin mo nga ang ulo ko. Sige. (Try reading my mind. Go ahead.)  
  
EA: *reads Thomas' head* ............ You son of a-  
  
Thomas: He he he he.  
  
The real Me: Hey! I need to say something.  
  
The real Thomas: Uh. Ok. Make it quick, man.  
  
The real Me: Hello, name unknown, Penname darkphoenixlord. To all the readers who can't speak Filipino, skip this. Hoy!! Kamusta pare? Sana naman umabot ka na dito! Tatanungin sana kita tungkol sa Ragna pero... hindi naman ako naglalaro T_T. Pero di bale. Ang kailangan ko lang ay Microsoft Word. He he. Siya nga pala. Kung atenista ka, sabihin mo naman ang seksyon mo sa akin. Para magkakita naman tayo. Kung hindi ka atenista, beeellaaaattt!!!!! He he he. Alamin mo lang na hindi ako berbert (tama ba?). At huwag kang matakot sa fic ko ^_^. Bastos lang naman ang chapps 1 at 2. Yung iba naman, secondary genre na lang. Adventure at slight humor kasi ito di ba? Alam mo, hindi ko ma-picture ang isang nagraragnarok na nagsusulat ng fic. Kasi tayong mga manunulat ay usually "in the dark", agree ka ba? Relieved naman ako na may katulad ako. Wala kasi akong magawa. Puro iskul na lang. Pero salamat sa review ha! Basahin ko ang ibang fic mo sa free time ko. IDOL!!! Ps: Kung gusto mo, insert kita dito. Review mo lang ako ulit kung gusto mo at sabihin mo lang. Oo nga pala. AKO si Trevor. Okay??? Self-insertion to, ne?  
  
The real Bobby: Touching moment man...  
  
The real Me: Shut up!!! BACK TO THE STORY!!!  
  
The real Bobby:  
  
The real Me: Snake? Is that you? He he.  
  
The real Bobby: *dirty finger*  
  
(AT THE BUS.............. I AM SICK OF SAYING THIS.)  
  
Driver: RIGHTO!! Get your fat asses of the damn bus!! I need a whore right now.  
  
Soun: C'mon! Hurry now!  
  
Ranma: Don't forget who brought you here!  
  
Miyu: THANK YOU, DRIVER!!  
  
Ranma: Don't philosophize me.  
  
Miyu: Hee hee! I mean, thanks!!! ..........Ranma.  
  
*the gang left the bus*  
  
Miyu: Ahhhhh!! The breeze feels great.  
  
Me: Hey, read Thomas' mind. He's smiling again.  
  
EA: *trance* He's looking at the sign over there.  
  
Me: Nude beach. *grin*  
  
EA: *trance* Both of you are freaks.  
  
Thomas: *snaps out of grin* HEY!! Where's Besa?  
  
Me: Yeah. Where is he?  
  
(Somewhere in the water...)  
  
Besa: Sayyyyyy. What if I shock the water? Will everyone in the beach die? *zaps*  
  
*due to the volume of the water and the salt, and the limited power of Besa...................nothing happens.*  
  
Besa: Die, you pussies!!  
  
Child: Mommy! That man cussed at us!  
  
Mother: AAA!! Cover your ears! HEY YOU, OVER THERE!! Shut it!!  
  
(BACK TO THE SANDY PART OF THE BEACH)  
  
EA: Besa's there.  
  
Thomas: I bet he's doing an "experiment".  
  
Me: Get the stuff, guys.  
  
Thomas: Before that, *glare* where is my sandwich?  
  
Me: Dumbass.  
  
Thomas: TAKE THIS!! *punch*  
  
Me: Didn't feel a thing. Besides, violence isn't allowed here.  
  
Bobby: HEY!!! I need help here!! The luggage, guys!!!  
  
EA: Yeah! Hurry up with those! Ranma and the others are at the beach already!!!  
  
Bobby: Sloths!!! All of you!!!  
  
(Meanwhile... at the beach)  
  
Akane: Ranma.  
  
Ranma: .......  
  
Akane: Ranma.  
  
Ranma: ......  
  
Akane: RANMA!!!!  
  
Ranma: WAAHH!! What???  
  
Akane: Where are they?  
  
Ranma: Where are who?  
  
Akane: Trevor and the others.  
  
Ranma: Ehh. Who cares? Pass the water will you?  
  
Akane: Ice cream again? You are getting WAY too attached to your feminine side.  
  
Ranma: Heck. You don't know what pressures a man must go through.  
  
Akane: *stands up but trips and falls on Ranma*  
  
Ranma and Akane: *getting red* Ummmm.....  
  
Genma: *hiding in a bush with Soun* Tendo-kun!!!  
  
Soun: Saotome-kun!!!  
  
Genma and Soun: THEY'VE GOTTEN ALONG!!!! YYEEHHEEYYY!!!  
  
Ranma: Huh? *goes to bush* You darn dads..... *punches them*  
  
Genma and Soun: *flies into the air* Good luck, Ranma!!!!  
  
Akane: I mean, who do they think they are? Thinking we're in love.  
  
Ranma: I mean, are you in love?? Or something?  
  
Akane: *getting red* Ranma.....  
  
Ranma: Akane.....  
  
*their heads get closer to each other*  
  
Me: Hello!!!  
  
Ranma and Akane: WAAAHHHH!!! TREVOR!!! Hello!  
  
Me: Heh heh heh. What WERE you doing while I was gone???  
  
Ranma: Nothing. *turns head away*  
  
Akane: Nada. *also turns head away*  
  
Me: Heh. Anime physics. Turning their heads away and turning red.  
  
Akane: What do you mean? My face isn't red.  
  
Me: Only people from the real world can see that.  
  
Ranma: ....  
  
Me: But I have a question. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU TURN CHIBI????  
  
Ranma: Turn into what??  
  
Me: Your eyes become circles and your face becomes round and floppy. It happens when you're mad.  
  
Ranma: Turning chibi... Is that a disease?  
  
Me: *tries desperately to sweat drop but fails* Never mind.  
  
EA: Hey, Trevor. *struggling*  
  
Bobby: That's it, carrier boy. Carry the heavy stuff for master Bobby.  
  
EA: Damn you.  
  
Me: You never change, EA. Even in the Anime world.  
  
EA: Hey, stop taking advantage of me.  
  
Me: Where's Thomas?  
  
*the three of them see Thomas being chased by some women in their bath towels*  
  
Woman: PERVERT!!!  
  
Thomas: *running* AAAAAAA!!! GUYS!!! HELP!!!  
  
Me: Well, you changed. But not Thomas. Something's different about him but I can't just put my finger on it.  
  
EA: You don't mean.  
  
Me: Nah. That can't be it.  
  
EA: Evil twin?  
  
Me: Impossible!  
  
EA and Me: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! ............ THOMAS!!! *run*  
  
Ranma: What is up with those two?  
  
Akane: ????  
  
(AT THE WATER)  
  
Besa: Why won't you die??? *zaps at the water*  
  
*due to the excessive salt, water, and Besa's limited power, he fails... again.*  
  
Besa: They're just sparks!!! Must... zap... stronger!!! *zap*  
  
*nothing happens*  
  
Besa: Noooooo..... I.... have...... failed..... *faints*  
  
Child: AAAAA!! Mommy!! That man is dead!  
  
Mother: Don't look!! Don't look!! People these days. Can't they die somewhere else? Damn...  
  
(AT THE SAND...)  
  
The real Besa: Juz wait juz a farcken minute!!  
  
The real Me: What now, Besa?  
  
The real Besa: Wah em ah sooo stoopeed, yo??  
  
The real Me: And wah ah yoo ah nigga at heart, yo??  
  
The real Besa: Doo nut harazz meh, foo!!  
  
(AT THE SAND...)  
  
Me: Isn't this nice? The sky is clear, I'm with the Ranma cast, the breeze feels great, and Thomas is tied up and gagged.  
  
Thomas: MMMFFFF MMFFFMF MFMFMF!!  
  
EA: Shut up, man. You give us stress.  
  
Bobby: Hey, where's Miyu?  
  
Me: Shower room.  
  
Thomas: *breaks ropes and spits out the gag* AAARRGGHHH!!! I MUST HELP HER!! SHE CANT REACH HER BACK!!!  
  
Me: *pins Thomas down* Since when have you been a perve?  
  
EA: Well, is he a perve in the first place?  
  
Me: He he. Read his head, will you?  
  
EA: *reads Thomas' head* Ummm... All I can see is "I'll kill you, Trevor!"  
  
Me: *sighs*  
  
EA: Wait!!! There's another brain in him!!  
  
Me: I thought he only had half a brain.  
  
EA: Trevor!! He has another human being inside of him!!  
  
Thomas: Ha ha ha. So you found out.  
  
*Thomas splits into two*  
  
Thomas: WHOA!! You guys have no idea what that guy did to me!!  
  
EA: Let me guess. He tried to "influence" you by showing you porn.  
  
Thomas: WAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Somebody hold me!!!  
  
???: Hmph. I was this close!  
  
Me: Who are you??  
  
???: I am his evil twin....... SAMOHT!!!  
  
EA: Anyone see a pattern here? Hmmmm????  
  
(SOMWHERE IN A LIGHTHOUSE OVERLOOKING THE BEACH)  
  
Rovert: *looking through binoculars* Heh heh. There they are. And... I never knew Thomas had a twin!!! Unless.... he's who I was looking for.  
  
*Rovert stares at the man*  
  
Rovert: No way.... Is that you, Samoht?  
  
(SOMEWHERE IN A FOXHOLE NEAR THE BEACH)  
  
Ybbob: Yahh hah!! I see das enemy!! Bobby und das uzhers!!  
  
*Ybbob notices Samoht*  
  
Ybbob: No vay.... You came all zhe vay here, Samoht?  
  
(BACK TO THE BEACH....)  
  
Thomas: I will never eeeevverrrr let you take over my mind, you!!  
  
Samoht: You challenge me????  
  
Thomas: With my strength, I will smite you, creature of.... badness.  
  
Me: Short-lived wisdom, I say.  
  
Thomas: Shut up.  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
Thomas: Take this! *punch*  
  
Samoht: *evades*  
  
Thomas: Grrgghh..  
  
Samoht: Porn throw!!!! *throws porn*  
  
Thomas: *gets cut* AAHHH!!! Papercut!!!  
  
Samoht: Ha ha ha ha ha!!!  
  
Thomas: Take this!!! Punch Vulcan!! *many punches*  
  
Samoht: Porn defense!!! *makes wall of porn*  
  
*Thomas crashes into the "dirty" wall*  
  
*!!!!!CRASH!!!!!*  
  
Thomas: OOWW!! By node!!! *bloody nose*  
  
Samoht: You can't attack me with this ultimate shield!!!  
  
Thomas: Owww...  
  
Me: THOMAS!!! LET US HELP YOU!!!  
  
Thomas: No. This is my fight. WHAT AM I SAYING??? HELP ME, DAMMIT!!!!  
  
Me: EA!!  
  
EA: Right.  
  
Samoht: Don't interfere!!! Porn prison!!!  
  
*Samoht traps Me and Ea in a cage made of..... porn*  
  
Me: NOO!! EA! What are we gonna do? EA?  
  
EA: *look of ecstasy* Ooooohh.  
  
Me: Oh no.  
  
Samoht: Ha ha. I can't believe Rovert and Ybbob failed to beat your asses up!  
  
Thomas: *limping* You know them?  
  
Samoht: Of course! They're my beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehehehehest friends!!!  
  
Thomas: ???  
  
Samoht: Now.... I'll finish you. OW what was that? Something kicked me!!  
  
Bobby: *turns visible* Hah hah. Got you.  
  
Samoht: No. I got you. PORN MASK!!  
  
*a book covers Bobby's face*  
  
Bobby: I camf bweaf!!! *faints*  
  
Samoht: Hah hah.  
  
Me: Where's Besa when we need him?  
  
(AT THE SHORE)  
  
Lifeguard: *pounding on Besa's lung* LIVE!! LIVE!! NOOOO!!! WHY??? WHY??? WHYYYYY????????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Besa: Ow. Stop that will you? *zaps lifeguard*  
  
Lifeguard: NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI!!!! *faints*  
  
Besa: Now there's someone who needs reviving. Now back to my experiment.  
  
*Besa goes to the shore*  
  
Besa: Now... I see a large wave. With surfers!!! It will be a pleasure to kill them all. He he he he.  
  
Besa: Now!!! Ultimate Besa Shock Wave!!! *zap*  
  
*due to bla bla bla bla bla bla, he fails*  
  
*and also, the wave turns into a tsunami and crashes down onto Besa*  
  
Besa: OH SHI-  
  
*!!!!!! SPLOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHH !!!!!!*  
  
(BACK TO THE BEACH)  
  
Samoht: HA ha HA!!!  
  
Akane: Hey guys!! Who's that??  
  
EA: Hey, Thomas. Akane's here. You're last meal!!  
  
Thomas: What are you talking about?  
  
Me: You just made the biggest mistake of your life.  
  
Thomas: Huh?  
  
Ranma: Good luck, and good bye!!!  
  
EA: Yeah. You are DOOMED, man.  
  
Me: Yeah. You were such a dumbass. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YES???  
  
Ranma: Well, see you at the funeral guys.  
  
Akane: Guys?  
  
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SHE'S HERE!!!  
  
EA: Quick, Thomas!! SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!  
  
Me: AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Akane: Thomas-kun!!!!  
  
Thomas: SHITTTTT!!!  
  
Akane: *vein pops out of head* You guys better be not talking about THIS!!! *removes cloth*  
  
Thomas: SHIIITTT!!!! NOOOoOooooooOOOOOOoOoO!! Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!!!  
  
EA and Me: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!  
  
Akane: Thomas. Please eat this. It's gonna get rotten you know.  
  
Thomas: I'm tempted.  
  
EA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Samoht: Yes, Thomas. Eat it and die. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  
  
Thomas: Stop messing with me!!!!!!  
  
The real Me: WHOOOOOO!!! CHAPTER END!!  
  
The real EA: You sound like Ric flair every time the chapter ends.  
  
The real Besa: YO! Wah did yo doo dat? Ah dun't deserve too bee splooshed bah ah hooge wall of wawa!!!  
  
The real Me: Of course you do!  
  
The real EA: Hey, the showdown isn't over yet!!!  
  
The real Me: Yep.  
  
The real Thomas: Sneak peek?  
  
The real Me: Go ahead. We're long overdue for retirement anyway.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Miyu: HIIIYAAAAAA!!! LET GO OF ME!!!  
  
Samoht: Now, now. Be a good girl and take it off.  
  
Miyu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!  
  
*wall explodes*  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM  
  
Me: AAAAAAAAA!!! What the fuck are you doing to her??? Get away!!!  
  
Miyu: Trevor!!! You did come for me!!!  
  
Me: Heh heh. Ain't I great?  
  
Samoht: You!!! I thought-  
  
Me: Sorry, man. It will take more than just porn to stop me.  
  
Samoht: Why you......  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
The real Me: Heh heh heh heh.  
  
*ring ring*  
  
The real Me: Hello?  
  
Miyu: HI!!!  
  
The real Me: Yeah?  
  
Miyu: I saw the tape of chapter 11.  
  
The real Me: Oh no.  
  
Miyu: Why did you make that happen to me???? YOU PERVERT!!!  
  
The real Me: Don't worry. I'll save you anyway.  
  
Miyu: Oh. HEE HEE!! That's ok!!!  
  
The real Me: Riiiiiiiight.  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	11. Bobby’s new toy

I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad? sobs WAIT!!! I do own myself and that black twin of mine, Rovert!!! And I own Miyu, Samoht, Ybbob, and the every other OC who hasn't arrived yet! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!  
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 11: Bobby's new toy  
  
Acknowledgement: Bobby for co-writing........again. Another Acknowledgement: Bobby's "ka-blooey"  
  
The real Me: Yeah. I hate that.  
  
The real Thomas: I mean, who would eat that thing?  
  
The real Me: It looked like it came out of... OH!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Huh?  
  
The real Me: Ummmm..... EA! Did I say press the red button?  
  
The real EA: It was so big and shiny! *drool*  
  
The real Me: *slaps head*  
  
The real EA: I'll press it again!!!  
  
The real Me: Wait! don't do tha-  
  
*deet*  
  
*OFF THE AIR* ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... *ON THE AIR*  
  
The real EA: I love that sound!  
  
The real Bobby: If we're just gonna record, get the script, man!  
  
The real Me: Besa ain't here yet!  
  
(SOMEWHERE IN MCDONALD'S)  
  
The real Besa: Ah want mah ass cream!!!  
  
Counter lady: Uhhh what was that again, sir?  
  
The real Besa: ASS CREAM!!  
  
Counter lady: Just a minute...  
  
*the counter lady comes back with a tube of ointment for the butt*  
  
The real Besa: Wut is dis, yo?  
  
Counter lady: You said you wanted ass cream.  
  
The real Besa: YO! Ah dint say ass cream!! Ah said ass cream!!  
  
Counter lady: Ohhh, you meant THAT kind of cream. Ok!!  
  
*counter lady comes back with anal lube*  
  
Counter lady: He he. Good luck with your "man"!!  
  
The real Besa: Imma nut gay, foo! Ah said ass cream, Sunovabiatch!  
  
Counter lady: Oh. THAT kind of cream. So you're the one who's gonna "do" it, huh? What, don't have any juice left?  
  
The real Besa: Just get it, biatch.  
  
*counter lady comes back with a cup of sperm*  
  
The real Besa: Wut da farck is dis, yo???  
  
Counter lady: Cream.  
  
The real Besa: ITZ FARCKEN SPURM, FOO!!!  
  
Counter lady: THEN WHAT KIND OF CREAM IS IT????  
  
The real Besa: Yo kno, sum peeps can have soo much green on their gray mattah, yo.  
  
Counter lady: ???  
  
The real Besa: Ah wunt da ass cream on da cone wit fudj, pleez!  
  
*counter lady gets a cone and puts the sperm in it after that puts fudge on top*  
  
The real Besa: AAARRGHH!!! DUMMMM BLONDE BIATCH!!!  
  
(BACK AT THE HOSTS)  
  
The real Bobby: Well, let's start anyway.  
  
The real Me: Just skip Besa.  
  
The real EA: BACK TO THE STORY!!  
  
When we last left the gang... well you figure it out.  
  
Akane: Just eat it! It's just food!  
  
Thomas: Sorry 'kane. I got a situation here where...  
  
Samoht: HA HA HA HA!!! Porn grab!!  
  
*samoht uses porn to make a giant octopus tentacle and grabs Thomas with it*  
  
Thomas: AAAARRGHHH!!!!  
  
Samoht: You're off-guard!!!  
  
Akane: THOMAS!! I never you were in a fight!!  
  
Thomas: Right. And didn't you see all the blood and the porn flying around?  
  
(IN THE PORN CAGE....)  
  
Me: Uhh.... EA. It's just porn. Don't get aroused.  
  
EA: HEY!! Like you can't become aroused.  
  
Me: I'm just used to porn, that's all.  
  
EA: Oh. But I'm not!!!  
  
Me: Ehhh.  
  
EA: Oh no. I GOT GROWTH MAN!!! I NEED TO JACK OFF!!!  
  
Me: OH SHIT!! NOT HERE MAN!!! Wait! I got an idea!!  
  
EA: What?  
  
Me: Eat this thingy.  
  
EA: *eats the thingy and falls asleep immediately*  
  
Me: Sleeping Son of a Bitch™ Sleeping Pills!! Works every time or your fucking money back while we kick the defective machine's ass!  
  
EA: ZZZzzZZzzZzzzZZzzZz  
  
Akane: Let go of him!!  
  
Samoht: Heeeeeey, sexy! Why don't you come with me?? Ehh?  
  
Akane: YOU PER-  
  
Samoht: PORN GRAB!!! *does porn grab to akane*  
  
Akane: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!  
  
Thomas: AAG!! Akane!! AAAAGGGG!!  
  
Samoht: Shut up!!! *makes porn grab tighter on Thomas*  
  
Thomas: AARRGHH!! You bastard....... *faints*  
  
(SOMEWHERE IN A TOWER...)  
  
Rovert: He's gone over his ass again. Heh, that Samoht.  
  
(SOMEWHERE IN A FOXHOLE...)  
  
Ybbob: Vhat ish Samoht up teh again? Trayin' tah rep anozher gurl again? And ish zat a guy on zhe ozher tentakele???  
  
(SOMEWHERE UNDERWATER...)  
  
*due to the denseness of the saltwater, we will translate the underwater speech Besa is saying*  
  
Besa: *wakes up* Where am I?  
  
Fish: Hey, aren't you supposed to be up there?  
  
Besa: *realizes he can't breathe* OHH SHIIIITT!!!!  
  
*BESA SWIMS UP TO THE SURFACE*  
  
Besa: Fwehhhh!!! How long was I there??  
  
*a surfer hits Besa with his board*  
  
*!!!! TONK !!!!*  
  
Surfer: Whoa!! Sorry there, dude!!  
  
Besa: *sinks*  
  
Surfer: DUDE!!! Are you dead, dude? Hey, dude? Dude? Duuuuuude?  
  
Besa: *still sinking*  
  
Surfer: Ah, who cares? Must be one of those diver dudes.  
  
(BACK TO THE BIG BATTLE)  
  
Samoht: C'mon! You have been chewing on that thing for 5 minutes now! That ink is poisonous you kno- I mean yeah!! Eat it and.... um.... DIE!!!  
  
(BACK IN THE CAGE...)  
  
EA: ZZZzzzZZzzzzzz  
  
Me: C'mon Thomas!!! And Bobby!! ....Wherever you are.  
  
(SOMEWHERE IN THE MEN'S SHOWER ROOM)  
  
Bobby: Where's the soap?  
  
The real Bobby: HEY!! How come you only revealed my location just now??  
  
The real Me: Uhhhh.... Don't you think it was hard enough to manage the story with only 2 characters? Now we got... ummm.... 9!!!  
  
The real Bobby: So?  
  
The real Me: Never mind.  
  
(SOMEWHERE AT THE PARKING LOT OF MCDONALDS)  
  
The real Besa: *running* Nooooo!! It wuz ah mizteak, yo!!!  
  
Policeman: STOP!! I AM AN OFFICER OF THE LAW!!  
  
The real Besa: Geez, foo. Juz far shootin dat blonde biatch?  
  
The real Besa: Hey! Diz kent beh hard!! Ah onlah gottah wanted lavahl 1!  
  
(I DON'T OWN GTA VICE CITY OR ANY GTA FOR THAT MATTER)  
  
The real Besa: Hahaha! I can still shoot anyone!! *shoots policeman*  
  
*Besa gets wanted level 6*  
  
The real Besa: Euh Shitznaz!!!  
  
(BACK TO THE HOSTS)  
  
The real Me: You don't have to go back here. Just get back to the story!!!!  
  
(SORRY... HEHEHE. BACK TO THE STORY!!!!)  
  
(........SPECIFICALLY BACK TO THE PREVIOUS LOCATION)  
  
Bobby: Where's that damn soap? *looks around cubicle*  
  
*Bobby slips*  
  
Bobby: WHOAWHOAWHOASHITSHIT!!!  
  
*!!! TONK !!!*  
  
Bobby: Oh!! There it is!!!!  
  
*Bobby sees a broken piece of... um... something*  
  
Bobby: Hey!! What the hell is this!! Oh no. Did my head break the marble or something? Ah well... Let the next guy cut his foot.  
  
*Bobby leaves*  
  
Bobby: Oh wait!!! I forgot my shampoo bottle!!  
  
*Bobby enters and cuts his foot*  
  
Bobby: Oh shit. Does this mean I'm the next guy? Heh.  
  
Bobby: What the? I see spots!!! *disappears*  
  
*Bobby appears inside another cubicle*  
  
Miyu: Huh?  
  
Bobby: Hello.  
  
*Bobby disappears*  
  
Miyu: *scratches head*  
  
*Bobby appears inside the porn cage*  
  
Bobby: Hello!! What are you doing in the shower room?  
  
Me: This isn't a shower room, ass!! We're fighting this guy!!!  
  
Bobby: Who?  
  
Me: Another evil twin, Samoht!!  
  
Bobby: *teleports underwater*  
  
Bobby: Glugglug!!  
  
The real Me: Turn on the dubbing!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah yeah. Just shut your asshole. It stinks around here.  
  
(BACK TO THE STORY)  
  
Bobby: *sees Besa* BESA!!!!  
  
*BOBBY TAKES BESA UP TO THE SURFACE*  
  
Bobby: Blablablablablablablabla!!  
  
The real Me: Turn it off....... NOWWWW, DAMMMIITTT!!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah. ...bitch.  
  
The real Me: HHMMM???  
  
The real Thomas: *pushes button*  
  
(BACK TO THE STORY)  
  
Bobby: Huh? You saw what?  
  
Besa: I saw this surfer mean guy. And he hit me with this thingy he has under his feet!  
  
Bobby: You mean a surfboard?  
  
Besa: You know, I have been thinking about ngaaarrkkk!!  
  
Bobby: Huh?  
  
Besa: MMMFFF!! MMMFFF!!!  
  
Bobby: You got a fish in your mouth.  
  
Besa: HOOOCKKK PTOOOEEYY!!!!  
  
Bobby: Huh? I stopped teleporting!! I can control this now!!!  
  
Besa: *runs off* NOW TO KILL THAT BAD "DUDE"!!  
  
Bobby: Hey!! I still got that book Tofu gave us!! I'll read it!!  
  
(BACK TO THE BATTLE)  
  
Me: Was that Bobby just now? What do you think, EA?  
  
EA: ZZzzZzzzZZzz  
  
Me: Yeah. I think so.  
  
EA: ZZZzzZZzzz  
  
Me: Who're you calling a bitch?  
  
(WE FOCUS OUTSIDE THE CAGE FOR ONCE)  
  
Samoht: Just give up already!!! Damn piece of shit that crapped shit!  
  
Thomas: ZZzzZZzzz  
  
Samoht: Great! He got bored. I mean how? He's got all this great porn wrapped around him!!!  
  
Samoht: I know!! He's immobile right now so he can't reach into his pants!!! At least I think so.  
  
Akane: ZZZzzZzzz  
  
Samoht: Perfect. She's asleep too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  
  
*Samoht drops Thomas and takes Akane over his shoulder*  
  
(AT THE PICNIC SITE)  
  
Bobby: Ok.. Let me see. Teleportation....  
  
Bobby: AHA!! The teleportation charm. To get this charm, you must get this mysterious shard of glass that has not been found yet. People think this is only a myth but recently we have been getting signals from the coast. We're not sure who is even FIT to get it!  
  
Bobby: Oh well. I guess I'm just lucky!! Heh!! Hey! Where's Thomas? And EA? AND TREVOR?? WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GO???  
  
(SOMEWHERE IN A FOXHOLE)  
  
Ybbob: Hah hah!! I can see das doof man, Bobby!!  
  
Ybbob: I'm ganna kick hish.... azh!!!! *calls a Panzer Division*  
  
Ybbob: Hah hah hah hah!! Hitler das doooof!! *salute*  
  
(Ybbob goes to the beach)  
  
Bobby: Who're you?  
  
Ybbob: Ish bin das zheneral Ybbob!!  
  
Bobby: Oh yeah! You're that guy EA talked about!!!  
  
Ybbob: You vill die now, vitch!! *takes out luger*  
  
Bobby: OH SHIT!!! *ducks*  
  
*BANG*  
  
Bobby: Cmon this isn't funny!! You tried to kill me!!  
  
Ybbob: Zat ish da point, doof!! Juz like Rovert tried tah kill Trevor!!  
  
Bobby: And just like Samoht tried to kill Thomas. Yeah. I know.  
  
Ybbob: Szee a pattern hkhere??  
  
Bobby: What? You guys a pact or something?  
  
Ybbob: VE ARE DA DISCHARMED!!!!! NYAH HKHAH HKHAH HKHAH!!  
  
Bobby: .....  
  
Ybbob: DIE!!!  
  
*BANG*  
  
Bobby: *ducks matrix style and at the same time teleports behind Ybbob*  
  
Ybbob: Vhat da hkhell??  
  
Bobby: *kicks Ybbob's ass*  
  
Ybbob: AAAG!! Ya arzhe!!  
  
Bobby: *teleports at Ybbob's front and kicks his dick*  
  
Ybbob: AAGGG!! Da payn!!! *faints*  
  
Bobby: I love this charm, man.  
  
*Tanks arrive*  
  
Bobby: Huh?  
  
Captain: AAAA!!! You killed da zheneral ve vill destroy you, man ov evel!!!  
  
Bobby: What? He's just not excercising his balls!!  
  
Captain: HKHOW DARE YOU MAKHKE FUN OV OUR ZHENERAL!!! Ve vill kick your-  
  
Tank operator: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!  
  
Captain: Vait! I didn't shay-  
  
2 tank operators: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!  
  
Captain: VAIT!! ZHUT DA VUCK UP!!!  
  
8 Tank operators: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!  
  
Captain: ........  
  
Every tank operator in the division: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!!  
  
Captain: Vell iv you can't beat em, zhoin em!!! ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!  
  
Bobby: What the hell are you talking about? Can't you say anything else?  
  
Captain: I know... FOYAAAAAA!!!  
  
*BOOOMM*  
  
Bobby: Oh shit.  
  
*!!!!KA-BLOOEY!!!!*  
  
Bobby: *gets blown away* NOOOOOO!!!  
  
Tank operator: Hay captan!! Din he look familiah??  
  
Captain: Ah shet.  
  
(BACK TO SAMOHT)  
  
Samoht: Ha ha! I tied her up now! Ha ha!!  
  
Samoht: Now to find another one!!!  
  
(AT THE WOMEN'S SHOWER ROOM)  
  
Miyu: *walking torwards the exit* I don't get it.  
  
Miyu: Was that just Bobby I saw? Or did I eat too much soap again?  
  
Miyu: Oh well! The past has passed! Heee heeeeee!!  
  
Miyu: Huh?  
  
Samoht: Who are you?  
  
Miyu: I am your conscience. Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Samoht: Crazy lady. HEY!! I KNOW!! PORN MASK!!  
  
Miyu: *gets face wrapped in porn* AAAHHHH!!!! *faints*  
  
Samoht: Man I am good!! How do I do it???  
  
(AT THE PORN CAGE...)  
  
EA: ZZZZzzzZzzz  
  
Me: The pill does work!! How do they make it so small?  
  
EA: ZZzzZZzz  
  
Me: Oh you're saying that now, EA???  
  
EA: ZZzzZZzzzZZzz  
  
Me: Hey!! I have scissors in my pocket! This is dangerous!!! MAN!!!  
  
EA: ZZzz-  
  
Me: What? I can cut a way out of here?  
  
EA: ZZzzZz-  
  
Me: Nice one!! *cuts magazines*  
  
Me: I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! YEEEHAAOOO!!!  
  
EA: *wakes up* Huh? Trevor!! What the?  
  
Me: I give you..... FREEEEEEDOOOMMMMM!!!!  
  
EA: Uhhh... he he he. YAY!  
  
(AT THIS LIGHTHOUSE...)  
  
Rovert: Well, Samoht gave me this heavy box. I wonder...  
  
*Rovert opens the box*  
  
Rovert: AAHHHH!! AKANE!!  
  
Akane: SAMOHT!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!  
  
Rovert: Uh oh. I guess Samoht still hates me for that underwear incident.  
  
*following cannot be shown because of sheer violence*  
  
*...but we're not showing it are we?? We're TELLING it!!*  
  
*...but due to the flow of the story, let's change the location!*  
  
(AT THIS ABANDONED WAREHOUSE)  
  
Samoht: Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Now for some good dirty fun!  
  
Miyu: *wakes up* Huh?  
  
Samoht: Hah ha!! Take off the damn suit, baby!  
  
Miyu: NOOOO!! Who are you anyway?  
  
Samoht: I am your conscience. Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Miyu: Stop that.  
  
Samoht: Sorry. BUT TAKE IT OFF, WOMAN!!!  
  
Miyu: NOOOOO!!! NEVER!!!!  
  
Samoht: If you don't, I will um...........  
  
Miyu: Do it yourself?  
  
Samoht: No, no. That's too old. I need something more cool and evil.  
  
Miyu: Ummm.....  
  
Samoht: AAA!!! MY HEAD!!!  
  
Miyu: Are you okay?  
  
Samoht: HA HA!!! Got you!! *grabs her*  
  
Miyu: AAAAHHHH!!!  
  
Samoht: Man, I am sooooooooooooo good.  
  
Miyu: *slap*  
  
*!!! WHAPACK !!!*  
  
Samoht: OW!! Why you... *grabs her again*  
  
Miyu: HIIIYAAAAAA!!! LET GO OF ME!!!  
  
Samoht: Now, now. Be a good girl and take it off.  
  
Miyu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!  
  
*wall explodes*  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM  
  
Me: AAAAAAAAA!!! What the fuck are you doing to her??? Get away!!!  
  
Miyu: Trevor!!! You did come for me!!!  
  
Me: Heh heh. Ain't I great?  
  
Samoht: You!!! I thought-  
  
Me: Sorry, man. It will take more than just porn to stop me.  
  
Samoht: Why you......  
  
Me: Hey Samoht! I have a present for you!  
  
Samoht: OOOOOOH! WHATWHATWHATWHAT???  
  
Me: A pair of....  
  
Samoht: *bambi eyes*  
  
Miyu: Wow. He's even more stupider than I am. Hee hee!!!  
  
Samoht: Yesyesyes??  
  
Me: Scissors!!!  
  
Samoht: Oh nonononononononononono!!!  
  
(BACK TO WHERE BOBBY WAS)  
  
Bobby: I can't move. My spine....  
  
Bobby: But I can still move my hand. I know!! I'll get my "emergency" radio and call another panzer division!  
  
Bobby: dot-dot-dot-dash-dot-dash  
  
German: Vhat???  
  
Bobby: I mean........ ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!  
  
German: Vhat??  
  
Bobby: Ah well....... HELP!!! This is Bobby! I need help here now!  
  
German: Ja wohl! (Yes sir!)  
  
Bobby: NOW!!!  
  
(A FEW MINUTES LATER)  
  
Tank operator: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!  
  
Bobby: Great. Now get me some mould. My spine is broken.  
  
(A FEW SURGERIES LATER...)  
  
Bobby: Ahhhh I feel great. NOW YOU GUYS!!! Kill Ybbob's division!!!  
  
Tank operators: *starts advancing* ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!! Ja wohl!  
  
The real Bobby: Hey! I am a member of fanfic dot net now!! Ha ha ha!!  
  
The real Me: Hey readers! I told you he says "achtung panzer" a lot! Look at his profile! His penname is "Erwin Rommel".  
  
The real EA: ZzzZzzz  
  
The real Me: Dint wake you up, huh? Ah well. BACK TO THE STORY!!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.  
  
(BACK TO YBBOB)  
  
Ybbob: Vell, avter zheveral zhurgeries at da dik und da..... azh.  
  
Captain: Ve are khkhappy ta zee you shtill alive!!  
  
Ybbob: Vhat are you, shvul??  
  
???: WHO DARE TREAD ON MY PICNIC SPOT??????  
  
Ybbob: Hoo are yoo?  
  
???: I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!!! A.K.A. Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, upperclassman.  
  
Ybbob: Upperclazhman dis, vitch!! FOYAAAA!!  
  
*BOOM*  
  
Kuno: Die you fiendish contraption! *cuts the shell into half*  
  
Ybbob: Vhat zhe heck? Iz it delayed??  
  
Captain: Ummmmmmmmm..... Yah!!  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*  
  
Ybbob, Captain, and Kuno: *flies into the air* NOOOOO!!!  
  
Bobby: Now if we just....  
  
*!!!!!!!!!!!!CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Bobby: Well that's convenient.  
  
Kuno: I will smite you, creature of evil!!!!!  
  
Bobby: Easy there, Kuno. I'm not that guy you're after.  
  
Kuno: I will smite you, creature of evil!!!!! DIE!!!  
  
Bobby: Huh? What are you ta-  
  
Kuno: *slash*  
  
Bobby: *evade*  
  
Kuno: It will be a fight to the death. And it will be I, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, upperclassman, who will emerge victo-  
  
Bobby: *disappear*  
  
Kuno: -rious!!!  
  
Bobby: *reappears behind Kuno and kicks him*  
  
Kuno: YOWZA!!! HEY!  
  
Ybbob: *wakes up*  
  
Captain (good): HAY!!! ITZ BOBBY!!! PROTEKT HIM AT ALL KHKOSHTS!!  
  
Tank operator (good): Ja wohl!! ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!  
  
Ybbob: No! Ish bin Ybbo- I mean yes!! Ish bin Bobby!! Protekhkt me from dat feend Bobby!!!  
  
Captain (good):VHAAAAT??? ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!!!  
  
Captain: Vich vone's vich?  
  
Ybbob: Ish bin Ybbob. Vut zhey dunt know dat, doo zhey?  
  
Captain: Yoo akhre eevil. I khlike dat.  
  
Bobby: Aww c'mon!! 1 against... 10. WAIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!  
  
Bobby: I'm the only one who speaks correct English here. Unlike you, Ybbob.  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
Ybbob: NOOOOOOOO!!! ZHIT!!! DHAAAAAAAAKKK!! FOYAAA!!  
  
*BOOOMM*  
  
Kuno: It's that vile thing!!! *fails to slash shell and hits it instead*  
  
*the shell bounces of the bokken and lands on Ybbob*  
  
Ybbob: ZUNOFAVICH!!!!  
  
*!!!KA-BLOOEY!!!*  
  
Kuno: NO! My ally is dead because of my weakness! I have failed.  
  
Bobby: *sweat drop* I ought to thank him... but nah.  
  
Kuno: I will gladly die...  
  
Kuno: *Gets his wooden sword and hits himself with it*  
  
Kuno: Ow. OK!! I HAVE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH!! NOW DIE!!  
  
Bobby: Uh oh.  
  
Kuno: *charges* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!  
  
Bobby: Hey, cool! He's fighting me! He he.  
  
Kuno: *gets kicked in the face*  
  
Bobby: Huh?  
  
Ranma: Don't start the party without me!  
  
Kuno: AA!!! You are indeed EVIL!! You have joined forces with that vile Saotome!!!  
  
Ranma: Just shut up. Psst. Use your other charm, Bobby.  
  
Bobby: Huh? Oh. I get it.  
  
Bobby: *disappears*  
  
Ranma: Heh heh.  
  
Kuno: *9 slashes*  
  
Ranma: *dodges all except 1*  
  
*TONK*  
  
Ranma: *Gets knocked into the ocean*  
  
Kuno: Ha ha ha. Justice is served. OW!! What the?  
  
*punch*  
  
Kuno: OW!! Who did that?  
  
*choke*  
  
Kuno: OOUULLFFFFFFFKKKK!!!  
  
*makes funny face*  
  
Kuno: I got you! *swing*  
  
*TONK*  
  
Bobby: *reappears* OW!!  
  
Kuno: NOW I WILL DESTROY YOU!!! *slash*  
  
Bobby: *teleports behind Kuno*  
  
Kuno: WHOAWHOA!!! *falls into water*  
  
Bobby: Heh. Justice has been shat.  
  
Kuno: WHY YOU... OOOOHH!!! Usagi no onna!!! Why are you here? You must not be here! I am fighting the dangerous Ranma Saotome! You indeed love me so! You have come all the way to-  
  
Onna-Ranma: *punch*  
  
Kuno: *gets knocked into space* I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOUUUU!!!!  
  
Onna-Ranma: Baka.  
  
Bobby: Whoa!! Whoa!! Whoa with a capital...... W!  
  
Onna-Ranma: Huh?  
  
Bobby: I thought I'd never see this in real life.... but I did!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Onna-Ranma: ?????  
  
Besa: Excuse me.  
  
Onna-Ranma: Besa?  
  
Besa: Where's the first aid kit? *faints*  
  
Onna-Ranma: Oh boy.  
  
(BACK TO ME)  
  
Me: Hah hah! The great Samoht is defeated!!  
  
Samoht: MY PORN!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Miyu: This sucks! The readers missed the whole showdown because of Bobby!!  
  
Me: What the hell are you talking about?  
  
Miyu: Umm... nothing.  
  
Thomas: You know that-that-that.. THING you did!! That was really cool! Kinda like it came from a movie!!  
  
EA: Yeah! That was really coooooll!  
  
Me: Heh. Ain't I great?  
  
The real Me: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Chapter end!!  
  
The real Me: Get the sneak peek tape and play it!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah, Ric Flair.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
???: Sorry thar moit. I canut gaw when mah head bangin on boomshine there, mush!  
  
Rovert: What the heck are you talking about?  
  
Ybbob: Vlack zheep strikes egain!  
  
???: Who're ye callin black shoip, damn nuttah? I oughtta go snip on there olyphant of yars.  
  
Ybbob: Dezhiphering mezzage..... vailed.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
The real Me: Make it quick. Close the lights!! I need rest after that long chapter.  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah.  
  
*RING RING*  
  
The real Bobby: Hello?  
  
Miyu: Hello..... Bobby.  
  
The real Bobby: Yes?  
  
Miyu: You know this was co-written by you, right?  
  
The real Bobby: Yes?  
  
Miyu: BECAUSE OF THAT, WE MISSED THE BIG SHOWDOWN!!!  
  
The real Bobby: Trevor's the one who's typing!  
  
Miyu: Ok. Umm... can I like... talk to him?  
  
The real Bobby: Ok. Just a sec.  
  
*door busts open*  
  
The real Besa: DAMM CAAPASS!!! Pay da ma krub foo!  
  
The real Bobby: Can you call again? Besa shot someone again.  
  
Miyu: Wait! I-  
  
The real Bobby: *puts down phone*  
  
The real Besa: Wat em ah gunna doo, yo? Ah got wunted lavahl 6!!  
  
The real Bobby: I know. Surrender yourself.  
  
The real Besa: Yo foo!  
  
The real Bobby: Or, get your controller and press r1 r1 o r2 up down up down up down.  
  
The real Besa: Dis ain't GTA Vice City™, foo!  
  
The real Bobby: I have an idea.  
  
*Bobby goes out of frat house*  
  
The real Bobby: Hey! Besa's not here so scram!!  
  
Policeman: Ok. *leaves*  
  
The real Bobby: Problem solved, Besa.  
  
The real Besa: Yo!! Dat wuz kul yo!!  
  
The real Bobby: Oh wait! He's over here!  
  
Policeman: Where?  
  
The real Bobby: Here.  
  
Policeman: AHA!!  
  
*policeman arrests The real Besa*  
  
The real Besa: SSHIIIAAAATTT!! Ah will get yo fur dis, foo!!  
  
The real Me: Uh oh. THOMAS!! Press the button, would you?  
  
The real EA: I'll do it!!!  
  
The real Me: WAIT!! Not y-  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


	12. The Discharmed are nearly complete! AE i...

Sorry guys for the looong update. I just finished the week-long final sixth grade exams. It's summer vacation! WAHOOOOOO!! I'll be able to update more frequently now! NYA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Oh, and watch out for my bud EA (a.k.a. E-Chan). He's gonna be a registered author here. His fic is exactly like mine except with more hentai moments and less of the humor. Also, watch out for my friend Bobby (penname: Erwin Rommel). I think he's gonna write a fic this summer. Lastly, watch out for Thomas. He's writing a fic now and he might be registering here.  
  
I only own myself and every OC and evil twin. I don't own a certain someone's accent. I don't own the Swastika Song I featured in chapter 9 but EA doesn't own it either. I don't own the Ranma Cast and my friends. I don't own any of Thomas' or EA's or Bobby's or Besa's catchphrases. Why am I doing this? Am I in detention or something? C'mon! I need encouragement! REVIEW!!  
  
Oh yeah... no offense to those Brits and Aussies out there. ^_^;  
  
HEY! HEY! HEY! Fanfiction.net! How come my fic is not in your database? So that's why I'm not getting any reviews for the past couple of weeks! Even my friends don't review me! This chappie will rock da hauz and DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!!!  
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 12: The Discharmed are nearly complete! AE is here!  
  
The real Me: Well, what should you say?  
  
The real Besa: ............Ahm sarreh.  
  
The real Me: Good.  
  
The real Besa: .............Biatch.  
  
The real Me: Why you little fuck...  
  
The real Thomas: Sorry readers. The master host is in a tangle right now. On with the story!!!  
  
(THE STORY CONTINUES IN A SECRET PLACE UNDERGROUND....)  
  
Rovert: SONS OF BITCHES!!! *blast*  
  
*BOOM*  
  
Ybbob: AACKK!!  
  
Samoht: OW!!  
  
Rovert: You have failed the operation! Even with just 3 of us, we should be able to bring those assholes down!!!  
  
Samoht: We were obviously outnumbered, boss.  
  
Rovert: AARRGHHH! You are all camel shit!!  
  
*DOOR BUSTS OPEN*  
  
???: Hallo thar moits!!  
  
Rovert: *sour look* ...AE.  
  
AE: Ain't to jumpy tah see yar old moit, moit?  
  
Rovert: We ain't got anymore room for another asshole.... mate.  
  
AE: It's moit!! Not mayt! Damn nuttah.  
  
Rovert: You ain't one of us anymore! You're a traitor!  
  
AE: Ah yeah? What now mush?  
  
Rovert: Well, mush. Did you forget that bomb incident at the mall?  
  
AE: I don't know what you're chantin' about, moit.  
  
Rovert: Who dissed us, and left us all alone to die? Hmmm?  
  
AE: ALL RIGHT!! Sorry moit.  
  
Rovert: Heh...  
  
AE: Sorry thar moit. I canut gaw when mah head bangin on boomshine there, mush!  
  
Rovert: What the heck are you talking about?  
  
Ybbob: Vlack zheep strikes egain!  
  
AE: Who're ye callin black shoip, damn nuttah? I oughtta go snip on there olyphant of yars.  
  
Ybbob: Dezhiphering mezzage..... vailed.  
  
Rovert: Who told you to talk, Hitler worshipper?  
  
Ybbob: LIZE!! ALL LIZE!!  
  
Rovert: Yeah, Ybbob. Keep your second pair of pants on.  
  
Ybbob: .....  
  
Rovert: Well AE. What CAN you do for us?  
  
AE: I was in down under in colly, man.  
  
Rovert: Huh?  
  
AE: College.  
  
Rovert: Lucky bastard.  
  
AE: I took in teaching. Got my master's roll.  
  
Rovert: I see. Well I have a plan here just in case.  
  
AE: Shoot me.  
  
Ybbob: Zhat can be arranged. *pulls out luger*  
  
AE: Easy there moit!!  
  
Rovert: Quiet Ybbob.  
  
Ybbob: Ja wohl!  
  
Rovert: Well, we want you to be a teacher in Furinkan High School.  
  
AE: Yeah?  
  
Rovert: And I want you to terrorize it.  
  
AE: Too good to be true?  
  
Rovert: Ehh no. Anyway. I need you to terrorize, Trevor, EA, Thomas, Besa, Bobby, Miyuki Hinasaki, Ranma Saotome, and anyone else who gets in your way.  
  
AE: *writing on paper* ....And anyone who gets in my way. GOT IT!!  
  
(AT THE TENDO HOUSEHOLD)  
  
Akane: BAAAKAAAAAA!!!  
  
Ranma: Wait! It's not what you think!!  
  
*Akane swings mallet*  
  
*!!POW!!*  
  
Akane: BAKKAAAAA!!!  
  
Thomas: What's up with them?  
  
Me: What did I tell you? It's all in the anime. If you watch it, then you'll know.  
  
Thomas: Aw c'mon!  
  
EA: Geez Thomas. Do you have muscles in your brain too?  
  
Thomas: *punches EA*  
  
EA: *flies into the air* NOOOoOoOoO!!  
  
Me: Well Bobby ain't back yet.  
  
EA: That shows him to call me the carrier boy.  
  
Me: I'm hungry! WHERE'S BOBBY????  
  
EA: He should be back from the restaurant, right?  
  
(AT THE NEKOHATEN...)  
  
Bobby: *running with the food* I AM NOT TREVOR!!!  
  
Shampoo: *chasing Bobby* You forgetting dishes, Trevor!! I kill Trevor!!  
  
Bobby: NOOOOOO!!!  
  
(BACK AT THE TENDO HOUSEHOLD... WHEN BOBBY CAME BACK...)  
  
Bobby: She was scary in the anime but this is ridiculous!!  
  
Ranma: You don't know the half of it.  
  
Bobby: I think I feel sorry for you, Ranma. But.. I don't!! HA HA!!  
  
Ranma: Why you... *punch*  
  
Bobby: *teleport*  
  
Ranma: Huh?  
  
Bobby: *kick*  
  
Ranma: OW!!  
  
Me: Hey... stop it guys.  
  
*someone falls from the roof*  
  
Besa: *falling* IT IS I!!! LIGHTNING GOOD-ASS!!  
  
Me: Not again...  
  
*!!!CRASH!!!*  
  
Besa: And I have conquered the fifth continent of.... *falls asleep*  
  
Me: Good-ass? Isn't it supposed to be dumb-ass?  
  
Besa: ZZZzzzZzzz Who're you calling ZZzzzz a dumbass, fat fuck? ZZzzZ *zap*  
  
Ranma: NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI!!! *faints*  
  
Me: Ya missed. Hey! Where's Bobby?  
  
Bobby: *in kitchen* This looks tasty. But it smells funny.  
  
*bobby takes one lick of the soup and falls like a sack of cow shit*  
  
Bobby: ZzzzZzzZzz... The screw goes in the hole.... ZZzZzzzzZZz  
  
(NEAR THE KOI POND... TWO PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING...)  
  
Thomas: I'm gonna kick your big fucked ass, EA.  
  
EA: Not if I kick yours first.  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
Thomas: Your ass is doomed, EA.  
  
EA: Checkmate!  
  
Thomas: NO! YOU ATE THE KING!!  
  
EA: It was wide open, dumbass.  
  
*SHOWDOWN ENDS*  
  
EA: Isn't this fun, Thomas? Isn't it better than violence?  
  
Thomas: It ain't fair! You can read minds?  
  
EA: Now who said this was gonna be fair? *suddenly jumps back*  
  
Thomas: *gets ready to punch* Damn! You did again you ugly fuck!!  
  
Akane: What's up?  
  
Thomas: AAAAACKKKK!! Don't surprise me like that?  
  
Akane: *sits down* You have been here for some time now.  
  
Besa: *zips by* NO SLUMBER CAN STOP THE LIGHTING DUMB.... I MEAN GOOD-ASS!! YEEEEHAAWWW!!!  
  
Me: *zips by* Now, now, Besa. Don't let your charm get to your head.  
  
Akane: *startled* As I was saying... do you guys miss school?  
  
EA: Aside from the terrible food, the advanced lessons, the buggy atmosphere, the long school hours...... yes.  
  
Akane: Well, we've been thinking. Would you like to go to school with us?  
  
EA: *thinking* This is a dream come true!!! Going back to school with my buddies plus I'm with the Ranma cast!! It won't be boring anymore! YAHOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Akane: Umm. EA? Are you ok?  
  
EA: *drooling* This is gonna be fun.....  
  
Akane: O....K.... I think I'll leave now. Geez he is CREEPY!!  
  
EA: *still drooling* Ranma cast.... school.... oh yeah.....  
  
Thomas: EA? Hellooooooo?????? Did I forget how to speak again? Nah that only happened when I was 3. BUT THE ODDS ARE ALWAYS HIGH IN THIS WORLD!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
EA: *snaps out of trance* Hey!! Easy on the eardrum, ass!!  
  
Thomas: Thank goodness I still remember!!  
  
(LATER THAT NIGHT...)  
  
*everyone is eating*  
  
EA: Say, Trevor.  
  
Me: *eating* Fwat?  
  
EA: Do you wan't to go back to school?  
  
*everyone is silent*  
  
Me: *spits food out* PTOOEY!! .......... SCHOOL???????  
  
EA: Yeah. We're becoming dumbasses.  
  
Me: As the boss, I...  
  
The real EA: What the fuck are you talking about? Who made you boss?  
  
The real Me: Obviously, I am the ONLY leader of this fraternity. SHUT UP!!  
  
The real EA: Yeah, yeah.  
  
The real Thomas: That's my line bitch-faced dick!  
  
The real Me: Just get back to the damn story. I think I got a hangover.  
  
The real Thomas: Here we go.  
  
(BACK TO THE STORY)  
  
Me: .......agree.  
  
EA: YES!!!  
  
Me: So we start tomorrow I guess?  
  
Me: I guess so.  
  
EA: Hey I have this really cool idea that-  
  
(THE NEXT DAY...)  
  
Me: ZZzzZzzZZzZzZZz..... no sir. The answer is..... ZZzzZzz  
  
Thomas: WAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUPPP!!  
  
Me: ZzzzZ ZZZZZZ!!! HUH? What the hell?  
  
Thomas: IT IS A BYOOOOOOOTEEEFOOOOLL DAAAAYYYY!  
  
Me: Why does it have to be like this every morning?  
  
EA: How come you're always sluggish in the morning? You're like an ass after it shits. *kick*  
  
Me: Did something touch me? ZzzZzzZzzzzZZz  
  
Thomas: We can always use Besa.  
  
Besa: I love doing this. *zap*  
  
Me: NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI!!!!  
  
Besa: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!  
  
Me: *grabs Besa by the collar and throws him out the window*  
  
Besa: *falls* AAAAHHH!!! *hits a rock and bleeds*  
  
*!TONK!*  
  
Me: *looks down* ...... Oh well. Anime physics'll save him.  
  
Thomas: OH! I FORGOT! SCHOOL!  
  
Me: Yeah!  
  
Bobby: *reappears* So are we starting today?  
  
Me: BOBBY!  
  
Bobby: Good morning! *push*  
  
Me: *falls* AAAAAAHHHHH!!! *lands on Besa*  
  
Bobby: AH ha ha ha!  
  
Me: Thanks for breaking my fall, Besa! Oh shit, look at all the blood.  
  
*KNOCK KNOCK*  
  
Thomas: Who is it?  
  
*door busts open*  
  
Akane: You idiots!!!  
  
Thomas: Yeah yeah.  
  
Akane: We're gonna be late! And where are the other two?  
  
EA: *looks down the window* Nowhere to be seen.  
  
Me: *from the ground does the finger to EA*  
  
Akane: Well just hurry up! BREAKAST IS READY!!! *shuts door*  
  
*!!!SLAM!!!*  
  
EA: Sometimes I wonder. Why is she like that?  
  
Thomas: Breakfast.... I am sooooo hungry..... uhhhh.......  
  
(DOWNSTAIRS)  
  
EA: Seriously Thomas. Are you sure this world's not getting to your head? I mean really. Do you even miss the real world?  
  
Thomas: Come to think of it.... yes. But I can manage. As long as there's someone I know here.  
  
Bobby: Personally, I think I like it here.  
  
EA: Oh well.  
  
Ranma: You stupid dad!!  
  
EA: Huh?  
  
Genma: If you want it, take it........... from me!!  
  
Ranma: No fair, pop! That fish is MINE!!!!  
  
*the two zip by*  
  
Thomas: ........Hey EA, Bobby. Is it always this exciting here?  
  
Bobby and EA: *nod*  
  
(AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE...)  
  
Ranma: *in stitches* Well are you ready? I mean, skipping several grade levels?  
  
Me: We can manage. Right, Besa?  
  
Besa: Fuck you, raw fish!! Die in lightning hell, bitch!! *zaps the fish*  
  
Ranma: ????  
  
Me: Umm... sorry. We're not used to eating raw fish.  
  
Besa: *faint*  
  
Me: Whoops. I think he lost a few more pints than I thought.  
  
Besa: *face is still on the fish*  
  
Me: Besa? Heloooooooooo?  
  
Besa: *still unconscious*  
  
Me: Well... crap. Hey Kasumi! Can you do me a favor and take this guy to Tofu's? He looks bad.... really really bad....  
  
Kasumi: Ara? Ok!  
  
Me: Let me see.... 5 hours after midnight then 34 minutes... then...  
  
EA: ???  
  
Me: OH FUCK!!! Guys! We're almost late!!  
  
Ranma: *big eyes* AAA!! GO GO GO!!  
  
Akane: Well at least Besa doesn't have to worry about that *kicks Besa*  
  
Besa: ZZZzzZz.....impossible to feel pain when shocked....ZzzZz  
  
Akane: *leaves*  
  
Besa: ZZzzZzz......now remember...Zzz...electricity is your friend...Zzz  
  
(LATER... OUTSIDE FURINKAN...)  
  
Me: Awhey shit man! We made it!!  
  
EA: Hey Ranma, I'm curious... How the fuck do you walk on the fence like that?  
  
Ranma: Well...  
  
*someone hits Ranma with a bokken*  
  
*!!!POK!!!*  
  
Ranma: *sour look*  
  
Kuno: HA HA! I will smite you, demonic Saotome!!  
  
Ranma: I am waaay too sick of this Kuno.  
  
Thomas: *cracks knuckles* I haven't punched someone in a long time.  
  
EA: Yeah. Like a long time is just 24 hours.  
  
Thomas: You want a taste of this or what? *raises fist*  
  
EA: Whoa. Take it easy there.  
  
Kuno: You all oppose me!!  
  
Thomas: *punches Kuno* Would you.... JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP???!!  
  
Kuno: *gets knocked into space* NOOOOOO!! I HAVE FAILED!!! I, THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH, TATEWAKI KUNO, AGE 17, UPPERCLASSMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!  
  
Ranma: *whistles in awe* That oughtta wake him up.  
  
*SCHOOL BELL*  
  
Akane: Hurry up! Trevor and Bobby already went in!!!  
  
EA: Those threenuts!!!  
  
*DING!!! DANG!!! DONG!!!*  
  
(IN THE FURINKAN HIGH SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION OFFICE...)  
  
AE: Thas ther moit. My appy.  
  
Principal Kuno: Oh my Ga-do!! What is the meaning of "nutter"?  
  
AE: NUTTAH!! IT'S NUTTAH YOU BLOODY PRICK!!!  
  
Principal Kuno: Oh NO-NO-NO!!! Are you British or Australian?  
  
AE: One for part, othah for the second bub if ya know what I mean!!!  
  
Principal Kuno: Oh my Ga-do!! You sir are an idiot! Are you sure you want to be a teacher in my wooooooonderfuulll schoooooll???  
  
AE: *points magnum* Shut the bloody hell up already!!  
  
Principal Kuno: OH-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!!! You are hired!! Mr. AE!!  
  
AE: You chirped that one in my thought boot, moit.  
  
Principal Kuno: *thinking* This man is a 'tupid 'tinking infidel!!  
  
AE: Now... to use my Charm.  
  
Principal Kuno: Why the scary face??  
  
AE: *scary face* You are under my spell, bloody nuttah....  
  
Principal Kuno: *drool*  
  
AE: You will do everything I say....  
  
Principal Kuno: *trance* .....everything you say...  
  
AE: NOW FALL ASLEEP YOU BLOODY GAY FUCKING NUTTAH!!!!!  
  
Principal Kuno: *sleeping* ZzzZzzZzzzZzzZzZz....snip snip.....  
  
AE: Now... when I twig my digits... you will go find someone...  
  
Principal Kuno: .....someone....ZZzzZzZzz.....  
  
AE: His name is Trevor.....  
  
Principal Kuno: *wakes up* The new student??  
  
AE: I SAID GO TO FUCKING SLEEP, PRICK!!  
  
Principal Kuno: ZZzZzZzZZzZzzz......  
  
AE: Now when you see him and his friends....  
  
Principal Kuno: .....when I see him and his friends.....  
  
AE: BLOODY KILL THEM AND KICK THEIR ARSES TO HELL!!!  
  
Principal Kuno: ....kill....hell.....arses....them.....  
  
AE: 1.... 2.... 3! *snaps fingers*  
  
Principal Kuno: *wakes up* OH MY GA-DO!! I forgot something!!  
  
AE: *wicked smile*  
  
Principal Kuno: I am sorry teacher! You can teach the class now. I need to take care of something!!! *leaves*  
  
AE: Well.... I guess thanks to Rovert for getting me a new job. But the fun part is just about to begin. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!  
  
(AT THE SCHOOL....)  
  
Bobby: In all my time in the German Club I can only say... DAS DOOF!  
  
Thomas: *face flat on floor*  
  
EA: *walking* How could you not see that crack on the WHA!! *slips*  
  
*!!!!TOG!!!!*  
  
EA: OOOF!!  
  
Me: *sweat drop*  
  
Ranma: Man, we were almost late. I hope that freakjob doesen't show up.  
  
Principal Kuno: AAAAALOHA MISTER SAOTOME!!!  
  
Ranma: Here he is. He's the-  
  
Me, EA, and Bobby: The principal. We know.  
  
Thomas: The who??  
  
Me: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Ranma: Well excuse me coconutty. We need to get the homeroom. Now.  
  
Principal Kuno: But you guys are late!!  
  
Ranma: WHAT???  
  
Principal Kuno: Now I will give you a grand punishment!!!  
  
Ranma: Oh boy.  
  
Principal Kuno: *takes out scissors* CLIP CLIP!!! Off with the pigtail!!  
  
Ranma: Oh no you don't. *kicks Principal Kuno*  
  
Principal Kuno: *flies into space* OH MY GA-DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Ranma: Bye. And when you DO come back, give your regards to Trevor will ya?  
  
Me: HEY!!!  
  
Ranma: *runs off*  
  
Me: ....D-D-DAAAGGHH!! *chases Ranma*  
  
(IN ANOTHER HALLWAY...)  
  
AE: Either set or empty mind I guess. Here goes nada.  
  
*AE opens the door of his class only to find...*  
  
Gosungkugi: Oh? Who are you?  
  
AE: Have a little respect for your teach!  
  
Gosungkugi: New teacher? You must be an idiot.  
  
AE: *makes face* You are under my spell.....  
  
Gosungkugi: *drops gigantic nail on AE's foot*  
  
*!!!TOG!!!*  
  
AE: *jumping up and down* BLOODY HELL!! YOU BLOODY PRICK!!!!  
  
Gosungkugi: *snaps out of trance* AAHH!! Sorry sensei!!  
  
AE: NYAAARGHH!! *eyes become red and body is engulfed in an aura*  
  
Gosungkugi: *startled*  
  
AE: Feel my wrath!!!  
  
*AE focuses his mind power*  
  
*Gosungkugi floats from the ground and flies out the window*  
  
Gosungkugi: *falls from third floor window* AAAAA!!!!  
  
*!!sploosh!!*  
  
*Gosungkugi lands on a swimming pool*  
  
AE: *pants* This is so not good for my heart....  
  
(AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM...)  
  
Me: Heyyyy Thomas...  
  
Thomas: What?  
  
Me: I heard the teacher is a complete fuck!  
  
Thomas: Heh heh!  
  
Bobby: Hey shhh! The teacher is here.  
  
Me: Oh, the fuck? HA HA HA!!  
  
AE: WHAT WAS THAAAAAATTT???  
  
The real Me: FREEZE THE TAPE!!!!  
  
The real Thomas: What now?  
  
The real Me: Zoom in on AE's face!!  
  
The real Thomas: Righto. *zooms in*  
  
The real Me: HEY GUYS!! Look at him! Doesen't he look familiar??  
  
The real EA: Huh?  
  
The real Me: BOBBY! BESA!! Come here!  
  
The real Besa: Wazzamatta, mah nigga?  
  
The real Bobby: WHAAAATT?? I'm trying to play GTA Vice City™!!!  
  
The real Me: LOOK AT HIM!!! Who does he look like?  
  
The real Besa: Yeah yo?  
  
The real Bobby: Kinda looks like... I KNOW!! He looks like-  
  
The real Me: EA! HE LOOKS LIKE EA!!  
  
The real Bobby: Huh? I was gonna say Darth Maul but what the hell...  
  
The real EA: You stopped the story for this SHIT???  
  
The real Me: Ehh hehh heh heh. I forgot why I had to stop it.  
  
The real EA: Fuck you.  
  
The real Thomas: OK! Back to the story!! Enough with the fuckfollia!  
  
The real EA: Fuckfollia?  
  
*BACK TO THE STORY*  
  
Me: Oh you don't look so tough.  
  
EA: Hey hey hey. Easy there, Trevor.  
  
The real Thomas: WHAT THE??  
  
The real Me: I needed to do it.  
  
The real Thomas: Who authorized you to press the stop button!?!?  
  
The real Me: Now I remembered why I needed to stop the story.  
  
The real Thomas: What? AE looks like Darth Maul?  
  
The real Bobby: I TOLD YOU!!!  
  
The real Me: Shut up, fuckface.  
  
The real Besa: Juz get wit' it, frick!!  
  
The real Me: *cough* *cough* Hello Furiou$ $tyles, or whoever you are. If you are reading this, THANKZ YO!! Yo review like gave me a bitchin' idea!! Weed an' 'erbs an stuff? Datz a k001 1d3/-\!! 707/-\11Y da l3373$T, y0!! Thanks dude. I will use your idea for a later chapter, P3/-\C3!!!  
  
The real Besa: Yo, Trevvy? It ain't fonny ta take mah personalahtay, foo!  
  
The real Me: Heh heh. I couldn't resist.  
  
The real Besa: Y[]u'r3 /\ f|_|ck1|\|6 81/\7C|-|!!!! $CR3|/\| Y[]|_|!!!  
  
The real Me: ....wow! That must have been the sickest thing you said.  
  
*audience applauds*  
  
The real Besa: Thank yo my sons, PEACE!!  
  
The real Thomas: Ok. BACK TO THE STORY!!!  
  
*BACK TO THE STORY... AGAIN*  
  
AE: *thinking* Hey... he looks like... TREVOR!!!  
  
Me: Ha ha ha.  
  
AE: You!!!!  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
Bobby: Ahh hah. Trevor is in TROUBLE!!  
  
Me: Shut the fuck up.  
  
AE: *walks to me* YOU!!!  
  
Me: What?  
  
AE: *becomes calm again* Please rise.  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
AE: Stand up, you prick!!  
  
Me: *stands up* YES FU- I MEAN SIR!!!  
  
AE:*stares* You are getting sleepy....  
  
Me: *gets drowsy*  
  
AE: That's right.... now if I twig my digits-  
  
Me: *back to normal* What's that?  
  
AE: Snap my fingers. NOW GET SPACED, YOU BLOODY PRICK!!  
  
Me: *back to being tranced*  
  
Bobby and Thomas: STOP!!  
  
AE: SLUMBER, PRICKS!!  
  
Bobby and Thomas: *fall asleep*  
  
AE: Now, Trevor. When I twig my digits, you will praise me!!!  
  
*AE twigs... I mean snaps his fingers*  
  
Me: *bows* AE-sama!!  
  
EA: Don't! He's just tricking you!  
  
AE: It's useless.  
  
Thomas: If his mind is strong, go for the gut!  
  
*SHOWDOWN*  
  
*Thomas punches AE*  
  
AE: *flies and hits the blackboard*  
  
AE: ....Arrghh.  
  
Me: *snaps back to reality* Huh? What's going on?  
  
Thomas: I'm gonna bust your ass, AE.  
  
AE: SLEEP, PRICK!! *mind blow*  
  
Thomas: AARRFH!!! *drops to the floor*  
  
EA: Thomas! Why you....  
  
AE: Now.... die!!  
  
*someone flies in through the window*  
  
Bobby: BESA!!!!  
  
Besa: I am the Lightning Good-ass!!! No one hurts my friends!!!  
  
AE: Who the hell?  
  
Bobby: BESA!! NOW!!!  
  
Besa: *lightning shock* DIEEEE!  
  
AE: NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYAAAHH!! *faints*  
  
Besa: Hah hah! The Lightning Good-ass is unstoppable!  
  
Me: What's up Besa?  
  
Besa: Hey guys! Guess what? I'm enrolled here too!  
  
Bobby: Well whaddya know....  
  
???: AE!!!!!  
  
Me: What the???  
  
*Thunderclap*  
  
*Someone breaks down the door*  
  
Everyone in the classroom except gang: AAAAAHH!! *runs*  
  
Rovert: AE!!!  
  
AE: *wakes up* Boss?  
  
Rovert: You failed, AE!  
  
AE: Wait! I can explain!  
  
Rovert: Time's up. DIE!!! *blast*  
  
AE: AARRRRHHH!! *falls unconscious*  
  
Rovert: I gave you too many chances. Looks like I will have to take care of this myself.  
  
Me: Guys....  
  
Thomas: We know...  
  
Bobby: We know...  
  
EA: Yeah...  
  
Besa: KICK HIS ASS!!!  
  
Rovert: You're gonna pay!!!  
  
Me: Besa!  
  
Besa: Right! *zap*  
  
Rovert: *jumps away* USELESS!!!!  
  
Me: Bobby!  
  
Bobby: Where I go, nobody knows. *disappears*  
  
*Bobby reappears behind Rovert*  
  
Rovert: Huh?  
  
Bobby: YAA!! *kick*  
  
Rovert: OW! Why you...  
  
Bobby: *teleports to the gang*  
  
Rovert: My foot!  
  
Me: Now, THOMAS!!!  
  
Thomas: TASTE MY FIST, FUCKHOLE!!  
  
*Thomas punches Rovert*  
  
Rovert: NYARRGH!! *flies and hits the wall*  
  
Rovert: Now, you will die.  
  
Rovert: Summoning from the hellish abyss...  
  
Me: Oh shit....  
  
Rovert: Awaken the darkest power... *evil aura*  
  
*!!!!!!BOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!*  
  
*Classroom explodes*  
  
*The gang gets blown out of the school and into the schoolyard*  
  
Rovert: *floating above the school with AE over his shoulder*  
  
Me: Aghh... Rovert.  
  
Everyone else: *unconscious*  
  
Rovert: You are no match for me, Trevor. The Discharmed are nearly complete now. You have lost.  
  
Me: Never!!!  
  
Rovert: Well, you will see us again. And by that time, you will finally be dead. Each and every one of you...  
  
*Rovert disappears into the air*  
  
Me: Damn you, Rovert.  
  
Ranma: *running* Guys!! What happened? Your homeroom exploded!  
  
Me: I'm afraid I have bad news, Ranma.  
  
Ranma: What?  
  
Me: There is a new member in the Discharmed. The teacher, AE.  
  
Ranma: I knew there was something funny about that guy.  
  
Me: Not only that, there is only one member of them that is missing.  
  
Me: If they are completed, who knows what will happen?  
  
Ranma: So Rovert kicked your ass again, huh?  
  
Me: Oh shut up, bitch.  
  
Ranma: It's 'coz I wasn't here.  
  
(AT THE SWIMMING POOL)  
  
*someone gets up from the pool*  
  
Gosungkugi: Ranma... Saotome... I bet this is all your doing!  
  
Gosungkugi: You will die!!!  
  
Runner: One two one two one... *steps on Gosungkugi's head* OH!!!  
  
Gosungkugi: *Unconscious*  
  
Runner: Sorry!!! One two one two one two one two.  
  
The real Me: WHOOOOOOOO!!! Chapter End!!!!  
  
The real EA: That was a long and awfully painful chapter.  
  
The real Me: Hurry up Thomas, I'm HUUNNGRYYY!!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.  
  
*click*  
  
Computer: Syntax error.  
  
The real Thomas: *presses button*  
  
Computer: Syntax error.  
  
The real Thomas: What the hell? The sneak peek tape is broken!  
  
The real Me: WHATT???  
  
The real EA: Sorry folks, there's no sneak peek for the next chapter!  
  
The real Besa: PE/-\CE []|_|+!!  
  
*OFF THE AIR*  
  
Stratikeo: Ha ha. I am the virus Stratikeo. I infected the frat computer. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. //SIGN. 


	13. Aseb Brings the House Down!

Important note: Hey 'Cool Guy'. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this fic. And THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for those little commentaries on EA. Ha ha. BTW, every 'Charmed' member is real except for the bad guys k? And I think I can put you in chapter 14. Can I put you as a Chinese character? This chapter has already been planned out so be patient guys! I'm not working on this fic 24/7. I also need to work on Optimum Arsenal, my rpg game. And about the lemons? Umm... I'm too weak-hearted to make one. I don't know how to make one in the first place. I'm not even sure if this fic should be R. Well... if you want lemons, EA's fic is coming here to fanfiction.net real soon so expect lemons especially with me in them. (I am still scared about that part)  
  
Well, sorry I haven't updated this much before. Well EA, please stop reviewing nonsense. I'm completely discouraged and I'm not sure if I can continue this fic or not. And really EA. My fic doesen't suck. You just like to annoy me. Well guess what? I am annoyed so stop it already or I'll remove all your reviews. I have authority in this fic and if I say "review" me, DO IT RIGHT!!! If you want to bug some people, have a go at the guys at www.fictionpress.com. You can submit your "Lord of Their Flies" there.  
  
PS: Hey guys, don't reveal much about my/your personal life here on fanfiction.net please!!! (Example: my dandruff and Acuña)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own crap. Blah blah blah..... Author's note: REVIEW!! At least READ the damn fic! Look at 'Cool Guy' here! He rox!  
  
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop  
  
Chapter 13: Aseb Brings the House Down  
  
The real Me: Are you sure its legal?  
  
The real EA: I'm sure.  
  
The real Bobby: Hey, assholes. The camera is on.  
  
The real Me: Oh shit.  
  
The real EA: Hello! Welcome back readers! If there are any readers.  
  
The real Me: This story needs more reviews.  
  
The real Thomas: Hey! The computer is acting funny.  
  
Stratikeo: Hahahahaha. //SIGN.  
  
The real Thomas: GUYS!! There's a virus! SHIT! The porno!!!  
  
The real Me: What porno? I didn't allow porno here in the frat.  
  
The real Thomas: Porno? I meant portfolio! Yeah! Trevor's chapter portfolio.  
  
The real Me: Oh c'mon Thomas. I know what you said.  
  
The real Thomas: Shit.  
  
The real Bobby: Just play the damn tape already!  
  
*BACK TO THE STORY*  
  
Me: Zzzzzzz.  
  
Thomas: WAAAAAAAAAAKEEE!! UUUPPP! It's a BYOOOOO-  
  
*Thomas notices something zip by*  
  
Thomas: ....teefool day? Who was that?  
  
Thomas: *kicks the air*  
  
Bobby: *becomes visible again* OWW! You asshole!  
  
Thomas: Heh.  
  
Well things are going just fine at the Tendo Dojo... JUST FINE? BOOOOOORING! BRING ON THE PORNO!  
  
The real Me: PORNO???  
  
Oh. I mean LET'S FOCUS SOMEWHERE ELSE!!  
  
(Somewhere in a secluded forest)  
  
Ryoga: Oh Akane. Its been weeks maybe months since the last time I've seen you.  
  
The real EA: Let me get this straight. Ryoga was lost for 9 chapters?  
  
The real Me: Right.  
  
The real Besa: *busts through the door*  
  
The real Me: You're late again.  
  
The real Besa: Wassup mah niggas? Sorry I's late, summ damn white biatch slowed meh down at da sidewalk. For real, dawg. Shit! After all dat cammashin in the previous chappie, its about time we all met again in the shithauz.  
  
The real Me: For the last time, Besa. FRAT HOUSE.  
  
The real Besa: Shut da fuck up, asshowe!  
  
The real Me: Hey Thomas. GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK!!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.  
  
*BACK TO THE STORY*  
  
Ryoga: I'm hopelessly lost... forever. I wonder if I will ever find you again... Akane.  
  
*Ryoga stumbles upon a lighthouse*  
  
Ryoga: A lighthouse... maybe someone can give me directions.  
  
*Ryoga knocks*  
  
Ryoga: Hello? Anyone home?  
  
Ybbob: Scheisse! Komren nicht raus die huren! (Shit! Get the fuck out bitch!)  
  
Ryoga: Huh?  
  
Samoht: Hey Ybbob! Did you read that book again!  
  
Ybbob: Khknow I know khkow ta kers in German.  
  
Ryoga: Look, I need directions and somewhere to stay.  
  
Samoht: Well what can you do for us?  
  
Ryoga: I am really good in martial arts.  
  
Samoht: Pure talent huh?  
  
Ybbob: Halts maul! Halt deine fresse brauch keine hilfe, das huren! (Shut up! Leave us the fuck alone, we don't need your stinking help, bitch!)  
  
Ryoga: Ok.... I take that as a yes?  
  
Ybbob: Scheisse lucker!!! (You lucky piece of shit!!!)  
  
Samoht: Just a second. BOOOOOSSSS!!!  
  
Rovert: WHAT?? I'm bizzy!  
  
Samoht: We got a visitor?  
  
Rovert: *goes to the door* Who is it? Another whore selling cookies?  
  
Rovert and Ryoga: YOU AGAIN!!!  
  
Samoht: Do you know each other?  
  
Rovert: I saw him at the beach.  
  
Rovert: Well, we haven't introduced yet.  
  
Ryoga: I'm Ryoga Hibiki.  
  
Rovert: I'm Rovert........um... NICE TA MEET YA!!!!  
  
(MEANWHILE AT THE TENDO HOUSEHOLD)  
  
Bobby: Well... its SUNDAY!! The weekend is over. Ehhh.  
  
Thomas: Yeah it sucks.  
  
Besa: ZzzzZzzzz  
  
Thomas: The heat is really getting to us eh, Bobby?  
  
Bobby: Yep.  
  
Thomas: What's Trevor doin with Ranma?  
  
Bobby: Probably eatin' shit or something.  
  
Ranma: OK... JUST STAY STILL!!!  
  
Me: Alright already, just shut the fuck up!  
  
Ranma: ....There has to be a way to topple you over.  
  
Me: That's gonna be impossible.  
  
Ranma: Hmmm....  
  
Bobby: Well, where's EA anyways?  
  
Thomas: I think he died.  
  
(SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE)  
  
EA: OHHHH!!! Sweeeetooo!!!  
  
Happosai: OHHHH!!! Sweeeetooo!!!  
  
EA: What a haul!  
  
Happosai: What a haul!  
  
Girls: AAHHH!! GET BACK HERE, PERVERTS!!!  
  
(BACK TO BOBBY)  
  
Bobby: I never knew he would stoop that low. Hahah, fucker.  
  
Thomas: Hey Besa, wake up.  
  
Besa: HEY!! I AM SLEEPING, BITCH!!!  
  
Thomas: Right right. Just don't pull the lightning good-ass trick again.  
  
As if things can't get anymore boring at the Tendo Dojo, let's forget the assholes and focus on our little friend, RYOGA!!!  
  
(AT THE DISCHARMED HQ)  
  
Rovert: As you can see, we are armed with the latest in destructive weapon technology.  
  
Ryoga: Like this slingshot? *points to slingshot*  
  
Rovert: Ooookay, maybe not the latest.  
  
Ryoga: ....  
  
Rovert: But, we are armed with our CHARMS... right fellas?  
  
The other guys: RIGHT!!  
  
Ryoga: Quite a bunch you got here.  
  
Rovert: Yeah, evil is our essence.  
  
Ryoga: EVIL???  
  
Rovert: Whoops, I mean..... um... EGGS!!! YEAH!!  
  
Ryoga: ???  
  
Rovert: We like eating eggs and bacon for breakfast!! Heheh.  
  
Ryoga: Oh.  
  
Rovert: *thinking* Wow.. this guy is one... big.. dumbass.  
  
Ryoga: *thinking* Wow.. this guy is one... big.. dumbass.  
  
Ybbob: Khkey, arschloc, vanna have sum fodka?  
  
Rovert: Hey Ybbob! I thought you were German!  
  
Ybbob: Oh kheh, kheh, oopz.  
  
*someone busts the door open*  
  
AE: Yo, moits, good mownin!  
  
Ryoga: And who is this?  
  
Rovert: That's just AE. The asshole.  
  
Ybbob: Yah!! ACHTUNG!! AE ISH AN AZHHOLE!!!  
  
AE: What the devil? Ybbob, you bloody prick!!! *stare*  
  
Ybbob: Muzt reshisht, mind kontrul!!  
  
*Ybbob picks up radio*  
  
Ybbob: ACHTUNG, ACHTUNG!! AZHHOLE! AZHHOLE!  
  
Sniper: Ja wohl!  
  
*sniper aims at AE's head*  
  
Ybbob: Nyakh khakh khahk!  
  
AE: What the bloody hell is that?  
  
AE: ....  
  
AE: Eohhh, SHIT!! A snipah!!!  
  
Ybbob: Khnow you vill die, svhul!!!  
  
AE: Now you don't you prick!!! *stares at the sniper*  
  
Sniper: AAHHHH!!! You vill pay!! *shoots himself in the process*  
  
*BANG*  
  
AE: HAH HAH! That you shows you to show meh a wallaby WITH the huma today. Now Ybbob, just shut the fuck up, prick or I will take my sock puppet and shove it down your bloody neck!!!!  
  
Ybbob: Okhay, man. You're das fuhrer!  
  
Rovert: .....okay.  
  
Ryoga: *scratches head*  
  
Rovert: *thinking* I don't know why these fucking morons are like this everyday. Geez, what shitheads.  
  
AE: Ahh, ay boss? How about say, mush here joined us eh? A bloody good idea eh?  
  
Ryoga: Actually, I just wanted a place to stay.  
  
Rovert: Right, right Ryoga. Why don't you go to Samoht downstairs.  
  
Ryoga: Oh okay. *goes downstairs*  
  
Rovert: *looking innocent*  
  
*Ryoga is already downstairs*  
  
Rovert: *Looks at AE and Ybbob in a scary face*  
  
AE: Uh... moit? Is there something in your nose?  
  
Rovert: SHUT UP, FUCKS!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ALMOST DID????  
  
Ybbob: .....um Arshhole khkilled a znipar?  
  
Rovert: WRONG!!!  
  
AE: Uhhh.... moit, got a wallaby in your head?  
  
Rovert: SHUT UP!!! Look, I have been watching this guy Ryoga for days now. As you know one of our enemies is that asshole, Ranma Saotome! For all I know, he might be the only one who could defeat him. The problem is, HE IS SOOOO FUCKIN NOBLE!!! So don't do any evil stuff for now..... OR I'LL FUCKIN KILL YA!!!!  
  
AE and Ybbob: ........ RIGHT BOSS!!!  
  
Rovert: Good. Its nice to know I'm good enough to be understood by dumbasses.  
  
AE: Yo, boss? How about the bloody fuckin stupid things Samoht does?  
  
Rovert: S-S-S-S-SAMOHT????  
  
*Rovert runs down to the first floor*  
  
(IN THE KITCHEN....)  
  
Ryoga: Is there anything to eat here?  
  
Samoht: Hey Ryoga!  
  
Ryoga: Oh, Samoht.  
  
Samoht: Hey, man I need a big big favor.  
  
Ryoga: What?  
  
Samoht: I need some more porno. My powers are getting weaker.  
  
Ryoga: PORNOGRAPHY???? Never!!! My heart is too pure, too noble!!!  
  
Samoht: Right, right. Just like the others. PORN MASK!!!!  
  
*A magazine covers Ryoga's face*  
  
Ryoga: MMFFFF!!!!  
  
Samoht: You will do everything I say.....  
  
Ryoga: .....  
  
Samoht: GET ME SOME PORNO YOU FUCKIN LOSER!!!!  
  
*SCREEN SHUTS OFF*  
  
The real Thomas: What the fuck? *presses all the buttons*  
  
The real Me: THOMAAAAASS!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO????  
  
The real Thomas: Nothing!!! The damn thing shut off by itself!!!  
  
The real EA: Ok.. we're fuckin screwed.  
  
The real Me: Just a sec.  
  
The real EA: Huh?  
  
The real Me: BOBBY!!! COME OVER HERE!!!  
  
The real Bobby: Yeah?  
  
The real Me: Where's Besa?  
  
The real Bobby: He's in the back room.... where the wires are.  
  
The real Bobby: I heard a thump and a loud scream and some electricity going off....  
  
The real Me: I knew it. Hey Thomas? I'll take care of it here. Go get Besa, give him some ice, and fix the damn wires will ya?  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.  
  
*Thomas goes to the back room*  
  
The real Me: Soooo, EA. Got any porn?  
  
The real EA: *sweating* Porn? I don't know what you're talking about!!!  
  
The real Me: Then why is there a virus called Stratikeo infecting our precious computer?  
  
Stratikeo: KILL KILL KILL THE BYTES!!! HA HA HA HA!! //SIGN  
  
The real EA: *sweating* Umm... eh.. uh... ASK BOBBY!!!  
  
The real Bobby: Don't look at me man.  
  
The real Thomas: OK!!! ITS FIXED!!!!  
  
The real Me: Okay. Let's see the real culprit.  
  
*I surf all the folders up to Bobby's*  
  
The real Me: WHAT IS THIS??? I see some dirty stuff in Bobby's folder!!!!  
  
The real Bobby: Whaaaaaaattttt????  
  
The real Me: Tsk tsk tsk. I can't believe you, Bobby.  
  
The real Bobby: WAIIIIITTT!!! Look at the filename!!!!  
  
The real Me: Huh?  
  
The real Bobby: Read it!!  
  
The real me: It says, EA.jpg!!!!  
  
The real EA: Oh shit.  
  
The real Me: IS THIS YOUUUURRSSS!????  
  
The real EA: No! No! No!  
  
The real Bobby: Look at the file properties!!  
  
The real Me: Yeah so?  
  
The real EA: WHAAAA???? It says that the author is.... YOU!!  
  
The real Me: MEEEEE?????  
  
The real Bobby: Geez Trevor. You're the one who prohibited porn in the first place. We are soooooo disappointed. Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
The real Me: But-but-but-but....  
  
The real Bobby: Halts maul, huren!!!  
  
The real Me: You really hurt me there, Bobby.  
  
The real EA: WAIT!!! LOOOOOK!!!  
  
The real Me: What?  
  
The real EA: It says, "Mass-mailing picture. Generator: Stratikeo"  
  
The real Me: So the virus made it after all!  
  
The real Bobby: Damn this life, man.  
  
The real Me: This is shit.  
  
The real EA: Fuck it.  
  
The real Thomas: WAZZUP GUYS??? I'M BACK!!  
  
The real Me: ....  
  
The real EA: ....  
  
The real Bobby: ....  
  
The real Thomas: Well, I'll take that as a "Thank You".  
  
The real Besa: YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO!  
  
The real Thomas: Right. Back to the story people!!!  
  
The real EA: Fuck you Stratikeo.  
  
The real Thomas: Fuck you too EA. Fuck you too.  
  
(BACK TO THE STORY)  
  
Ryoga: Yes sir!  
  
Rovert: SAMOHT, YOU DICK!!!  
  
Samoht: Eh?  
  
Rovert: Bring him out of the trance, dammit! NOW!!!  
  
Samoht: Right, okay, bitch.  
  
Rovert: YOU ASSHOLE!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!  
  
Samoht: Oh, shit.  
  
Rovert: From the deepest depths of the hellish abyss....  
  
Samoht: SHIT!!!  
  
Ryoga: Huh? Rovert?  
  
Rovert: I summon...... THE ULTIMATE POWER!!!  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*  
  
Samoht: NOOOOO!!!! HUH????  
  
Ryoga: What?  
  
Samoht: What the hell is this, dude? Cheese powder?????  
  
Rovert: The special discharmed attack "CHEESE BOMB".  
  
Samoht: Oh. Well it wont work again, man.  
  
Rovert: YAAAAAAHHHH!! *blast*  
  
*Samoht gets blasted out of the lighthouse*  
  
Samoht: YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! *gets blown into space*  
  
Ryoga: O_o  
  
Rovert: Okay, Ryoga. Where were we?  
  
Ryoga: I'm hungry.  
  
Rovert: Okay you can help yourself to some peanuts and pop.  
  
Ryoga: Then again... maybe not.  
  
Ybbob: ROFERKHKT!!! TIME FOR DA MEETENG!!!  
  
Rovert: Just a second, Ryoga.  
  
(Upstairs)  
  
AE: Alright moits, we got Ryoga here, so now what, mush?  
  
Rovert: I'm thinking.  
  
Ybbob: Ve're vaiting!!  
  
Rovert: Okay... first AE. Make him beat that Saotome.  
  
AE: Right.  
  
Rovert: That guy Ranma can be a real pain in the ass so we need him out.  
  
Ybbob: Und then, vhat nekskt?  
  
Rovert: Then we'll kill Trevor and the others!  
  
Samoht: Sounds simple enough. Thomas is no match for my porn techniques.  
  
Rovert: And Trevor won't be able to block my dark powers anymore!  
  
Ybbob: Bobby's panzah diffision vill be deztroyd!!  
  
AE: Yeah moit. And EA's bloody head will be bleedin'!  
  
Samoht: Hey Rovert... we have one problem....  
  
Rovert: What?  
  
Samoht: What about Besa?  
  
Rovert: *slaps head* Oh shit. The lightning good-ass always makes the best out of us.  
  
Samoht: Shouldn't we call Aseb?  
  
Rovert: THAT GUY??? ASEB???? THE WET FART????  
  
AE: HA HA HA!! Good one moit!  
  
Rovert: Well... *snicker* we don't have a choice.  
  
*Rovert goes to the phone and dials 1908-ILOV-EPIE*  
  
Rovert: Its ringing!!!  
  
Ybbob: *snickers*  
  
AE: Haha, nice one moit.  
  
???: YALLO? Welcome to the wonderful house of Aseb! Aseb speaking!  
  
Rovert: *snickers* Hey, asshole!  
  
Aseb: I am sorry but my ears would like to stay virgin, thank you!!!  
  
Rovert: You don't remember me?  
  
Aseb: Who are you, sir?  
  
Rovert: Its Rovert!!!  
  
Aseb: ROVERT??? It really is you! Oh my gosh! You... like.... never call me!! Not even once!!! Ever since that birthday cake incident!  
  
Rovert: Well I did now.  
  
Aseb: Hello, my bestest friend in the whooooole world!!!  
  
Rovert: ALRIGHT! I GET IT ALREADY!!!  
  
Aseb: So how's the protagonist killing thing going?  
  
Rovert: We can't survive without you man.... we need your ice powers.  
  
Aseb: Oh you big silly puppy, you!  
  
Rovert: Would you please... PLEASE.. STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!  
  
Samoht: Hey, AE. I bet Rovert got called a big silly puppy again.  
  
Rovert: NYAAAAARRGHH!! *blast*  
  
Samoht: Oh shit not agai-  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*  
  
Samoht: IM GONNA GET YOU BACK YOU DICKHEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!! *flies into the sky*  
  
Aseb: Oh, Rovert! I just heard an explosion! Did you blast my other bestest friend in the whole wide world, Samoht??  
  
Rovert: Umm... no. There was dynamite outside the lighthouse.  
  
Aseb: So you need my help right? Friend?  
  
Rovert: YES I DO!!!!  
  
Aseb: I am gonna go over there now, ok?  
  
Rovert: OK! BYE!!! *puts down phone*  
  
Aseb: ..... don't forget to take your constipation medicine, Rovert!  
  
Rovert: ...... Guys...  
  
Ybbob: Vhat ish it?  
  
Rovert: I am REALLY SORRY for inviting Aseb over.  
  
AE: That's alright, moit. We can play tricks on him like we did on the old days.  
  
Rovert: Yeah. Maybe we can have some fun while he's here. *snicker*  
  
(OUTSIDE THE LIGHTHOUSE)  
  
Ryoga: Hmm....  
  
Samoht: Hey, help me will ya, man?  
  
Ryoga: *steps on Samoht's head*  
  
Samoht: Ooff! *becomes unconscious*  
  
Ryoga: That teaches you to wrap my face in visual profanity.  
  
*Ryoga goes back to the lighthouse*  
  
Rovert: Sorry for the long wait there, Ryoga!  
  
Ryoga: Don't worry. Samoht is out cold though.  
  
Rovert: Ryoga, you did us all a big favor.  
  
Rovert: Hey Ryoga. Here's a map to the Tendo Dojo. When you find the Tendo Dojo, beat Ranma's ass for us will you?  
  
Ryoga: With pleasure! The bitter rivalry between the two of us will finally end! Also, AKANE WILL BE ALL MINE!!!! HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Rovert: Right.... now go.  
  
*Ryoga leaves*  
  
Rovert: Now, let's wait for the little asshole to arrive.  
  
(20 minutes later)  
  
*A car stops in front of Rovert*  
  
*A figure steps out*  
  
Aseb: ROVERT, BUDDY!!!  
  
Rovert: Hey, Aseb.  
  
Aseb: It has been such a long time hasn't it?  
  
Rovert: Yep. It has.  
  
Aseb: Give your old friend a BIIIIIIIIG HUG!!!!  
  
Rovert: I'd rather not.  
  
Aseb: Oh, okay. So where are my other bestest friends in the world?  
  
Rovert: They're inside.  
  
Aseb: How were they all this time?  
  
Rovert: Ybbob is a complete dickhead, Samoht is a bitch, and AE is an asshole.  
  
Aseb: Oh! That's nice to hear!  
  
Rovert: Let's go in. We need to talk to you.  
  
Aseb: RIGHTO!!!  
  
*The two go inside the lighthouse and discuss the whole thing over again!*  
  
Aseb: Well as you might know, I am quite a formidable opponent! My ice powers are really strong!  
  
Rovert: Good. NOW THE DISCHARMED IS COMPLETE!!! NYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *cough* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAARHGGGHHHHH HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!  
  
Aseb: Your asthma might act up again, Rovert!  
  
Rovert: Oh shut up Aseb.  
  
Aseb: My lips are closed! Ha ha!  
  
Rovert: So, the plan is set. Ryoga is headed to the Tendo Dojo to beat up Ranma. Then we kill the others. A capish?  
  
Aseb: CAPISH!!!  
  
Rovert: *slaps head*  
  
Rovert: We attack tommorow night. Ryoga might take some time getting there. I calculated the time and it will take him up to tomorrow at 8:00 PM okay?  
  
Samoht: Now do we have some fun?  
  
Rovert: Okay. Free time.  
  
AE: RIGHT MOIT!!!  
  
Ybbob: ACHTUNG ACHTUNG!!!  
  
Samoht: *snicker*  
  
Aseb: Yahoo!!!  
  
(Later... in Ybbob's room...)  
  
Ybbob: Akhakhh... my modul panzah is almost finish'd!!  
  
*someone busts open the door*  
  
Aseb: General Ybbob! Aseb reporting for duty!!!  
  
Ybbob: Vhat are kykyou doing khere?  
  
Aseb: What are you doing?  
  
Ybbob: I am vinizhing zis modul panzah.  
  
Aseb: OH COOL!! CAN I HELP?  
  
Ybbob: Nein!!! NO!!!  
  
Aseb: Oh c'mon, buddy. Hey what's this piece do? Does this go here?  
  
*Aseb puts the piece on top of the model*  
  
Aseb: THERE!!!!  
  
*The model shatters into pieces*  
  
*!!!SMASH!!!*  
  
Ybbob: ARRGHHH!! SCHEISSE SCHEISSE SCHEISSE!!! Halt deine fresse brauch keine hilfe, die huren! Komren nicht raus!! (SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I don't need your stinking help, bitch! Get the fuck out of here!!)  
  
Aseb: Well I do not understand. But anyway, I'm gonna check on my other bestest friend in the whole world, AE!  
  
*Aseb leaves*  
  
Ybbob: ARRGHH!!! YE ARSH!!!! *shoots Luger in random directions*  
  
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*  
  
(In AE's room....)  
  
AE: Well now... Aum'a read about the parrots now. Right.  
  
*Aseb busts in*  
  
AE: Whoah, easy on tha door there moit!!!!!  
  
Aseb: Hey, mate!!! Whatcha doin? C'mon! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!  
  
AE: Aum'readin aahbout animals, moit. Ah like animals.  
  
Aseb: Oh really??? What's your favorite animal?  
  
AE: I rahlly lahk parrets.  
  
Aseb: Oh, you like parrots? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?  
  
AE: WHAAAAAT??????? I'M BUSY, YOU BLOODY PRICK!!  
  
Aseb: Come closer...  
  
AE: *goes closer*  
  
Aseb: Even... cloooooooser...  
  
AE: Hey, prick. Tell me already will ya moit?  
  
Aseb: Okay.....  
  
*Aseb goes closer to AE's ear*  
  
Aseb:........ I LIKE PARROTS TOO!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!  
  
AE: AAARRGHH!! My bloody ear!!! You nuttah!!!  
  
Aseb: Woo hoo! Ha ha ha! I like parrots too!! Guess what, AE? I like dogs, cats, mice, snakes, bunnies, fish and OCTOPUS!! And I like so many more like lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!!! HA HA HA HA!!! WE ARE THE SAME!!! I LIKE PARROTS, MATE!!! HA HA HA HAA!!!  
  
AE: Get the fuck out of here ya bloddy prick!!  
  
*AE uses his mind control to send Aseb out*  
  
(Outside AE's room)  
  
Aseb: *becomes conscious again* Huh?  
  
Aseb: That silly AE! He used his brain against me! Hohohohoahhahahah!! I'm gonna check on good ol' Samoht!  
  
(In Samoht's room)  
  
Samoht: *reading porn* Ohhh look at those jugs... ohh yeah...  
  
*Aseb busts in*  
  
Samoht: YOU DICK!!! DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK???  
  
Aseb: Oh no no no!!! Pornography is baaaaaad for you!! Those icky yucky books of nakey people will dirty your mind and your mind will become GREEN!!!!  
  
Samoht: Shut up!!!  
  
Aseb: And you should never touch the organ below the belt! Because touching it leads to bad naughty things! Now stop being silly and put some pants on! And please clean the mess you made here! The room is full of magazines and some.... sticky white stuff.  
  
Samoht: Alright!! I'm giving you to the count of 3 to get out!!!  
  
Aseb: ....  
  
Samoht: 1!!!  
  
Aseb: You are a veeerrryyy naughty person!!  
  
Samoht: 2!!!  
  
Aseb: I'm gonna tell you to Rovert!!!  
  
Samoht: 3!!!  
  
Aseb: Please clean this place up, will you? Or else, no dinner!!!  
  
Samoht: PORN TENTACLE!!!!  
  
*The magazines become tentacles and they grab Aseb*  
  
Aseb: Wow!! Is this a magic trick!!!  
  
Samoht: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!  
  
*Samoht flings Aseb out the door*  
  
*THUMP*  
  
Aseb: OW!!! Huh? Where am I? Who am I? Ha ha! I'm being silly!  
  
Aseb: I'm thirsty! I'm gonna get myself a nice soda pop!!!  
  
(Meanwhile.... in Rovert's room)  
  
*Rovert is making a house of cards*  
  
*Rovert has made a 7 foot tall one. He's down to the last card*  
  
Rovert: One..... last.... card....  
  
*Ybbob busts in*  
  
Ybbob: Rovert! Rovert! Rovert!  
  
*The house of cards collapses*  
  
Rovert: *falls off ladder* AAAAAAAA!!! *thump*  
  
Rovert: YOU ASSHOLE!!!  
  
Ybbob: Rovert! Rovert! Rovert!  
  
Rovert: Yes? Yes? Yes?  
  
*AE busts in*  
  
AE: Aseb, Aseb, Aseb...  
  
Rovert: What, what, WHAT???  
  
*Samoht bursts in*  
  
Samoht: He, he, he....  
  
Rovert: JUST TELL ME ALREADY YOU DICKHEADS!!  
  
Ybbob: He brouk my panzah modul!  
  
AE: The prick disturbed me during me bloody research!!!  
  
Samoht: He busted in on my....... business.  
  
Rovert: YOU ARE SUCH WEAK ASSHOLES!!!!  
  
AE: But, moit...  
  
Rovert: WE USED TO RIDICULE HIM! NOW HE RIDICULES YOU???  
  
Samoht: But....  
  
Rovert: Look, YOU RUINED MY FUCKING HOUSE OF CARDS FOR THIS?  
  
Ybbob: ....  
  
Rovert: Look, Ybbob. Just buy a new one. AE, ignore Aseb. And Samoht, lock your door and keep down the noise. THERE! PROBLEM SOLVED!!!  
  
*The three leave*  
  
Samoht: Geez, what an asshole.  
  
AE: Bloody hell, he's a big asshole.  
  
Ybbob: ASHHOLE!! ASHHOLE!! ASHHOLE!!  
  
Aseb: Hey guys!!!!  
  
AE, Ybbob, and Samoht: ......  
  
Aseb: Wanna play Go Fish?  
  
AE, Ybbob, and Samoht: AAAAAAHHHH!!!! *runs away like a coward*  
  
Aseb: Hmm... they must be busy today! Oh well....  
  
The real Me: YEAHHHHHHHHHHH! Chapter end!!  
  
The real EA: Well that was different.  
  
The real Me: A lot of things have changed, man.  
  
The real Besa: WAZZUP WAZZUP YO? Haay, Thomas, got dat virus yet, nigga?  
  
The real Thomas: Yep its gone!  
  
The real Bobby: GOOD! NOW PLAY THE DAMN SNEAK PEEK!  
  
The real Besa: Wud out, Bobby.  
  
The real Bobby: Hey Besa, peace. *stretches out hand*  
  
The real Besa: Shake hands? Yo, PEACE OUT!!!  
  
*The two shake hands*  
  
The real Besa: NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI!!!! *faints*  
  
The real Bobby: I love this industrial strength joy buzzer!  
  
The real EA: Ok Thomas! PLAY THE TAPE!!!  
  
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Me: Just tell me!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?????  
  
???: I am... I AM....  
  
*TAPE ERROR*  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
The real Thomas: WHAT THE FUCK????  
  
Stratikeo: I'm back!!! FUCK YOU ALL!! HA HA HA!!! //SIGN  
  
The real Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
The real EA: Ok folks, that's enough for today! See you next time!!!  
  
*OFF THE AIR* 


End file.
